SRS My brother puts a strain on my whole family

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by LSchenz, Jan 3, 2009.

  1. LSchenz

    LSchenz New Member

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    My 27 year old brother is handicapped (he has CP) and lately he has been putting up opposition to going this program that he goes to.

    The program is for older handicapped people like himself that have no place else to go. He's not able to go to college because he doesn't like to be in the care of an aid and nobody in my family is able to go with him because both of my parents work.

    Unfortunately there is nothing else for him to do but go to this program. Lately he has been faking illnesses so that he doesn't have to go in (for various reasons). Most of the time it is anxiety towards a situation or a person in the center. Typically he likes to extend the fake illness for weeks and he drives my parents crazy because we know he is not sick but there is no one home to take care of him and he is the most persistent person I have ever met.

    The problem is that he is bored at the place where he goes but he can't just stay home (the last time he did that he became severely depressed and put on Zoloft) and there is no place else for him to go.

    I hate to say this but my brother makes it intolerable to live in my house and I find any reason not to be here. In the time that it took to type this (by 11 am) he has already driven my mother nuts and I know that tomorrow is going to suck because he doesn't want to go in on Monday.

    Can anyone suggest what I can do so that I don't lose my mind?
     
  2. LSchenz

    LSchenz New Member

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  3. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

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    aaaaahaha
     
  4. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

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    You are a righteous person for sticking by him. Hang in there. I don't know how to deal with my handicapped aunt either. Don't doubt your impact. No matter how much of a shit he can be, he needs you. I really hated reading your post, it's not fair that you should have to deal with someone else's problem. There's nothing you can do but keep on showing love. Don't feel guilty for being angry at him and the situation you're in. Stick with your family, and they'll stick with you. You sound like a genuine person, and I'm sorry you've got so much on your plate. Keep being a good person, though. It will pay off whether your brother appreciates it or not.
     
  5. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

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  6. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    My family knows what it's like to be in your position because of me. Though I'm not faking, but everyone claimed I was.
     
  7. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    Does his mental capability outweigh his physical capability?

    If you're going to do anything to alleviate stress at all you have to start by listening to what it is he wants/needs. Find a way to help him get there. So what if everybody is busy or he doesn't want an aid. There is always a way, however difficult. At least listen. Help him reason things out. Maybe he'll come to terms w/having to have an aid.
     
  8. LSchenz

    LSchenz New Member

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    He's had an aid in the past and she was a very nice lady that he knew but she lasted about a month because he didn't feel comfortable with her.
     
  9. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    Trial and error. I'm going to have to get an aid myself & I'm terrified of the process. I had to do it with doctors & it was nothing but dashed hopes until I found one who clicked. It'll be the same with an aide.

    You, your fam, your bro have to give it more than one shot! It's stressful, but the potential for good outweighs what you have to put up with. You all just have to get there.
     

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