SRS My Brother is a Cocaine Addict

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by BBQ Monster, Aug 3, 2005.

  1. BBQ Monster

    BBQ Monster New Member

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    I do not know if this would be better posted in the "Road to Recovery" forum, but I thought I would try it here. And it is a little long.

    Here is the story. This past Saturday, I was talking on the phone with my mother and she tells me my brother is moving out of his house with his wife, due to black mold infesting ever room in the house. I said okay, well were does he plan on moving too?? She then tells me that he plans to move in with them (our parents). I was a little skeptical of the idea due to my brother running my parents finacially into the ground the last time him and his wife moved in. But then I figured, hey they could actually start paying attention to their daughter, and maybe just maybe get there acts together to beable to provide a stable enviroment for their little girl to live in. Well later on that night Aaron's (my brother) roomate came over to talk a bit with me and Heath, and belch out a few tunes on the guitar. I asked him, (not knowing) if he had found him a place to move into yet. He said what do you mean? I then said, again not knowing that my brother and sister-in-law are moving in with my parents due to the mold over at their house. He said he knew they were moving, but he had know idea they were moving in with my parents. He said he was told by them they were moving into an apartment for the time being, and they said he could come as long as he found a place further down the road. He then got a little upset, he decided to go and just grab his belongings and stay with a friend for the time being. Between the time Jon (my brothers roomate) left and arriving over at my brothers house, my brother then proceeded to come over to my house, break in, go upstairs where me and Heath were sleeping, and basically try to pull me out of bed and try to start a fist fight. At first I thought he was drunk, but then I could tell it was something else. He would of never of done that sober. I told him to calm down, my boyfriend got up and tried to restrain him, and Aaron just decided it was better off if he went a head and left. I then call my mother, it was at 5:00 in the morning, and I told her Aaron might be coming over, and he is on something. The only reason I did this is so his daughter (Nykayla) did not have to witness her fathers anger. I had no idea on why he got mad at me, he said he lost a friend and his band due to what I told Jon. I said I did not know Jon did not know, and plus if he is your friend you should of told him you plans have changed so he can find him another place to live.

    Well my brother did not go by my parents he went home, and while Jon was on his way back with his cloths and other belongings, he pissed on Jons bed, cloths and broke his TV. Jon goes back to grab the rest of his stuff and notices what Aaron had done. Calls me and asks me what I think he should do. I said call the cops, he said no I do not want it going that far, I said do nothing then. He did something tho, he pissed in the Game Cube and X-BOX, took some video games, and decided to grab my brothers cell phone. He comes to my house to try to stash the games, I said take them back or they will call the cops for theft. He took them back the next morning, and well the phone he demolished it that night.

    So that Sunday, we found out from his wife he is addicted to cocaine (in the Asylum I did not make this one clear my parents know about it also), and the reason he did what he did that Saturday was because he was high. We tried to talk to him we told him we loved him and tried to get him to go to rehab or at least admit defeat and know that not only will he need help but most likely counseling as well. He refused to listen, and of course you can't help someone who is not willing to realize they need help. His wife then told him if he does not get clean she will leave him, and she will not let him see his child until he is clean, which is a good idea, untill he went and got another fix later that night. We also found out he owes some people a lot of money due to this habit, and they are after him. So I was wondering if anyone could give me advice with this. Have any of you had these problems with family? I am lost with words considering, I never thought my brother would be addicted to cocaine.
     
  2. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    I've never had any siblings addicted to cocaine, I'm the only addict in my immediate family. However, I may be able to point you in a different direction to learn how to deal with this problem.

    Are you still going to AA meetings? It wouldn't hurt to share a little bit about it at an AA meetings and see if someone can help you. Also, attending a Narcotics Anonymous meeting and doing the same thing may be a wise idea. Since I believe you're an alcoholic (may be wrong here), you can identify at NA meetings as well. You are simply an addict to alcohol (alcohol is a drug). Simply identify as an "BBQ Monster, an addict" and you will fit in fine.

    In addition, you can go to Al-Anon, Al-Ateen, Nar-Anon, and other support groups for family members with addiction problems. How to find those meetings is listed in the "Do I have a problem with addiction? Where do I get help?" sticky thread at the top. Good luck.

    You probably know the rest of the advice I'd give you, you can't help him to recover until he has surrendered. Probably the best thing you can do is to completely cut him off until he gets clean, and if he breaks into your house again, press charges. At least if he goes to jail for a week or two he'll be forced to stay clean.
     
  3. BBQ Monster

    BBQ Monster New Member

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    Thanks for the advice. I am still making AA meetings, trying to make it as much as I can. I gave him advice about it, and tried to make him understand, that until he does surrender their is nothing that can be done. His wife already has made it clear until he is clean he will not see her nor his daughter, I said if he needs help with this I can help but until then he has to do this for himself. He has to realize he has a problem and give himself to a higher prower. I just hope he can let go.
     

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