SRS My Brother-In-Law Has A Few Years To Live

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Boogieman117, Feb 8, 2006.

  1. Boogieman117

    Boogieman117 PSN: Boogieman117

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    Hey all,

    I've been talking to my sister lately and she's been giving me inside information that only I'm allowed to know.

    My brother-in-law has CF, diabetes, and asthma. He's 32 years old. He's on home oxygen. His doctors told him today that his illness isn't getting any better. :wtc:

    He is, however, at the top of the national list for lung transplants. He says that hopefully he'll have the transplant within the year. :x: After talking with my sister about him, she's saying that it's doubtful that he be here that long. Even if his body accepts the new lungs, his 'level of life', as she puts it, won't be the same and his life will probably be extended by only a few years. :ugh2:

    My sister and brother-in-law have a 5-yr-old daughter that stays at my house with my Mom and Dad (Maw Maw and Pop, as she says), so that she doesn't see his deteroring health. I've overheard him say that he's going to only see her when he's healthy, that way when she's old enough to remember him, she'll remember him as a healthy Daddy.

    My sister is looking to me as a rock, but now I'm starting to feel the effects of his slow health problems. She's been doing extensive research on well-known CF boards and what's she's reading isn't looking good.

    I don't know how to be the person she can fall on for her feelings, she's actually considered having me and my g/f, soon to be fiancee, to move in her basement and assist with the day-to-day things while my parents help with raising my 5-yr-old niece.

    Any advice would be appreciated.

    NeonImpact: Not a word to any of the family. I don't know where else to vent.

    Sorry, but Neon had been my best friend in real life for most of my life, so I don't want him to tell anyone how concerned I am. I feel I can confine in OT.
     
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2006
  2. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Well obviously your responsibility goes up. Most important thing is that you're there for the family. Especially the child. It's good the family is coming together because your sister and child will need a lot of support. As for the dying, don't forget to help him enjoy what he has left. People who don't have much left appreciate the smallest things in life, so make sure to spend time with him. Do little things, watch sports together, play card games, etc.. Not much to be said for this situation other than be supportive and have the family come together and support each other :hs:
     
  3. michaele36

    michaele36 New Member

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    wow, this is sad. Just try to comfort her. do what you can to help out, bring him to the doctor pick up your neice from school etc. Hope he feels better
     
  4. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    Taking care of a terminally ill person is no easy task. You have to just take it day by day and enjoy the moments you have left with him/her as much as possible :hs: There will be good days, bad days, and days you wish the situation can be done and over with...it's not callous, it's normal. The best thing you can do for your sister/ her husband is be supportive and be available. Big thumbs up to your parents for helping out with their grand daughter :hug:
     
  5. Boogieman117

    Boogieman117 PSN: Boogieman117

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    Here's the thing:

    He's the type of person that doesn't want anyone to know he's sick. He doesn't want pity from anyone. This is a person who, when he had a temporary IV in his arm, would wear long sleeve shirts in the dead of summer. He just wants to be left alone when he's ill, and that's what seems to be the problem.

    Besides, he's so ill that he can't go outside due to the cold weather in MD right now, so he stays at home, mostly by himself while my sister works and my niece is at school / my house.

    As for me, I don't know how I'd grieve if it happens. He'll probably be the first family member that I really knew that dies. (I never really knew my grandparents, they passed when I was 8 years old or younger). I will probably post up letting everyone know I'm on hiatus and lock myself in my room for days. Then again, my post count might quadruple.

    Kat: Thanks for the support, I'm sure they appreciate it.
     
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2006

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