LGBT My Breakup :(

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by jj1814, Jan 7, 2009.

  1. jj1814

    jj1814 New Member

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    I had started posting this in WRWarick's thread, but I realized it was becoming too long, and didnt want to hijack his thread.....This is a copy and paste so it may reference his thread in some spots



    OP, you and I are in similar spots...

    My girlfriend of a year and a half left me about 3 months ago. WHY and HOW she left me was sooooo fucked up. She and her son were living with me (the first person i've ever wanted to co-habitate with), and our relationship was great. Only 1 argument the whole time we were together.

    But all of a sudden she left. She tried blame it on me and my "attitudes", but I knew that couldnt have been it. Come to find out, 2 days after she left me she moved in with this male client (she's a banker), who had been coming into her branch wooing and sweet-talking her. After I found that out, I cut off all communication with her immediately for 1 month. I intended for it to be longer than that (forever), but my conscience wouldnt let me because of how it happened. I couldnt sleep at all...

    The story is way more involved and really deserves its own thread, but to make a super-long story short....she just got married to this guy a couple of weeks ago.....but she is still in love with me. Recently, she basically told me that because of her own fucked up childhood (and it was super fucked!), that she's always wanted a traditional family...so even though she loved me so much, she still had that void. So basically she jumped at the opportunity to get what she wanted. But now she has a whole nother void because when she's with him, all she thinks about is me. And she's still in love with me, etc.

    *sigh* I'm so torn. It's been 3 months and I should really be farther along in healing than I am. But I feel like this was really true love for me and I'm so so so hurt. I've never been this hurt before in my life. I told her over and over that she needs to focus on her family and we need to let each other go.... My conscience will not let me deal with a married woman (even though sometimes I want to say "fuck him...he did it to me" - yes he knew about me). We both have so many feelings still there and I go back and forth in my mind each and every day and it's so hard.
     
  2. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    I applaude you for sticking to your convictions about not playing with a married woman.

    It is going to be hard, but she made her choice. Do your best to move on. You deserve to be happy with someone who wants you and a life with you, not someone who is going to make your life harder.
    :hug:
     
  3. wrwarwick

    wrwarwick OT Supporter

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    I applaud your resolve and ability to cut communication...I wish I could be that strong.

    I do not think you should take her back. Your GF, and I have realized my BF, clearly does not care about maintaining the relationship.

    People fall in love/get wooed by other people because THEY LET IT HAPPEN. If he had started flirting with her and she had just said "I am sorry but I am taken" instead of flirting back these feelings would have never formed. It will happen again if you take her back, and its not worth going through every 2 years, trust me.
     
  4. audrey

    audrey New Member

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    Sometimes time is the only healer and you need to cut contact in order to start the healing process. Good luck!
     
  5. TheMustafa

    TheMustafa hook 'em

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    Are any of the 3 adults in this situation thinking about the kid?
     
  6. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    :werd:

    kids come first and it seems that people these days are forgetting that!
     

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