My boyfriend has a girlfriend. HELP!!

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by jennybop, Mar 21, 2005.

  1. jennybop

    jennybop Guest

    Ok...Heres the story. :hs:
    I met this guy about 14 or 15 months ago and when we met he told me he moved here from Cali and we became cool. We used to hang out and stuff and I guess there is this girl in Cali and they have been together for 5 years but when i first met him he told me about her but he said that she was dating someone so i figured they were not together or whatever but then time progresses and i guess they are "together" and she stopped dating that guy. But then we have grown strong feelings fo reach other. We pratically are bf/gf. We also have been through a lot with each other. The only problem is that he has not told this girl in Cali about me. I think he is scared of the outcome and hurting her and all that. :noes:
    Another thing is that he is 28 and im 20 so there is a big age difference there. We tell each other we love each other and he even makes comments about moving in together and having kids and everything. I guess im just really confused cuz if he says he loves me then why wont he just tell the girl in Cali. He calls me his girlfriend and everything but i just hate the fact that their is "another girl." They lived together and i guess things were not working out so he moved to Texas just for the hell of it and has lived here for about 2 years already so what the hell is he waiting for???? Can anyone give me any advice or has anyone else been in a situation similar to this??:wtc:
     
  2. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    You are being played just like the last girl. He just picked up and moved for the hell of it? What happens when he does that to you? I would get yourself out of the situation.
     
  3. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Actions speak louder than words. If he loved you, he would not spend time with her or tell you all that BS and not follow up with it.

    He's just not that interested in you - and there is no real chemistry there. At least not enough to get married. It sounds like he hangs out with you because he is too lazy to get out and meet anyone else.

    Dump him and find a new man who has the same goals as you do, there are lots of guys that do, and who will treat you better. You'll probably be happier, too.

    Good luck.
     
  4. jennybop

    jennybop Guest

    Well, thats the thing...he doesnt spend time with her. She lives 2,000 miles away. We will be together all weekend and he wont call her or answer her calls and he tells me that she may be seeing this guy and that he doesnt care. We have both tried not talking to one another but it never happens. We always end up talking again. I know this is not a healthy situation but i do love him and i do believe he loves me. He has met pratically my whole family. Even my mom says that she knows he loves me. He said that he is willing to tell her but that i better be ready to go the wedding chapel. Thats a little scary cuz im only 20 but i could see myself with him but i would definelty wait a few years. I know everyones advice is to dump him but i dont think i can. I know hes not playing me too. We know each other soo well and we are really good friends also. I dunno im confused!???
     
  5. BedBunny

    BedBunny Guest

    look - give him an ultimatum. does he want you or her? cause he can't have both.
     
  6. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    :gullible: Seriously, if everyone from the outside looking in says to dump him (like you already acknowledge) then you need to step outside of your emotions and get it done.

    You sound like the typical battered wife..."he didnt mean it, he loves me, he told me so"

    I'm a guy, I know how we work. You are being played.
     
  7. jennybop

    jennybop Guest

    Its just wierd to me that someone can have a relationship with someone whom they hardly ever see and who lives sooo far away. The situation is hurtful but its easy to do cuz its outta sight outta mind kinda thing i guess. I really dont feel like im being played. I feel like she is but i honestly dont feel that way. I maybe gullible and naive though. He is my first love.
     
  8. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    And I am sure she thinks you are being played. How about this, why dont you ask him to give her a call and let you talk to her. Spur of the moment thing. That way he cant talk to her in advance about it and prepare a story.

    Then talk girl to girl with her. Find out what she tells him, what he tells her, what she thinks of thier relationship and what she knows of your relationship with her.

    If he is your first love then you are due for many more anyways. Thats just life...
     
  9. sexypony

    sexypony New Member

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    you are being played with and disrespected.
     
  10. jennybop

    jennybop Guest

    She knows nothing of me. If you were in my shoes would you feel obligated to tell her about what hes been doing. I do have her email and phone number.
     
  11. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    why not give her a call? What harm is it going to do? If he says they arent dating then it should come as no surprise to her. If he is leading you on, you might find out about it. If he is leading her on, then...
    1) I think you should call her up and talk to her. You are both human and if it were you, wouldnt you wish you knew about it
    2) If he has the potential to play someone like that, is he really someone you want to "love" and spend your time with? How long till he really does do it to you if he is not doing it now?
     
  12. mrs0323

    mrs0323 New Member

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    It's not your place to call the girl. That's his deceit, not yours and what will calling her accomplish anyway?
    I'd run as fast as I could from this guy. He IS playing the both of you, like everyone else has said, 2000 miles or not. And until someone comes along that can make him stop, and that ain't you honey, he's going to continue to do it. With you, and the next one, and the next one. And why should you be prepared to go to the wedding chapel? With someone you've known 14 months who's still, for all basic purposes, ATTACHED to someone else?

    Oh please, buy a clue. You're WAY too good for this useless piece of DNA.
     
  13. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    a little closure on the situation for both of them? Its not her "place" but its certainly not bad.

    If someone you loved was playing you, would you want to hear about it? Cause of course he isnt gonna tell ya.

    Wether you call her or not, you need to drop him. But if you call her, you MIGHT realize there is a missunderstanding and find out he is not all scum, and might be worth keeping. It doesnt look like you will find that out, but hey, why not try? What is the HARM in calling her? its not like you will ever meet her your entire life.
     
  14. mrs0323

    mrs0323 New Member

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    Ok, I see your point. Yes, I would want to hear about it and you're right, he sure as hell ain't gonna fess up.
     
  15. jennybop

    jennybop Guest

    Well, they are still techniqually together and no she doesnt know about me even though he says he has called her my name on more than one occasion. I just dont think i would call her though. Its not my place to do that. But i do agree if it were me i would definetly want to know.
     
  16. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Well if you dont want to talk to her, tell him that he needs to sit right in front of you and tell her everything or its over. (And then break up with him anyways, because he will eventually do the same to you)
     
  17. millero

    millero Aluminum Member

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    move on.
     
  18. Mutilus

    Mutilus New Member

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    QFT
     
  19. jennybop

    jennybop Guest

    if u dont mind me askin what does QFT mean?
     
  20. Mutilus

    Mutilus New Member

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    Quoted For Truth.
     
  21. Dos Equis4

    Dos Equis4 nebraska democrat (oxymoron?)

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    :rofl: move on. you are getting played like his skin flute
     
  22. Penny1484

    Penny1484 cute but kind of evil

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    :werd:
     
  23. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :eek3: this is plain as day, really... if you > her, there'd be no reason not to get rid of her. :dunno:

    i'm just shocked about how 'semi'honest he's being. minus the fact that he tells you he loves you, he'd be an even bigger ass if he didn't even mention this other girl.

    tread lightly there, woman... don't let yourself get hurt :(
     
  24. He is 28 and you are 20. That is about all that needs to be said.

    You are being taken advantage of youngling. You have much growing up to do and things to learn.
     
  25. timberwolf

    timberwolf New Member

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    Just the fact that you feel he's playing another girl should be enough for you.
    If he's capable of doing that to someone else, what makes you think he wouldn't be capable of doing the same to you?
     

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