My BF wants sex more than I do, but I want to please him!

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by nikkostarr5, Oct 9, 2006.

  1. nikkostarr5

    nikkostarr5 New Member

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    My bf and I have been together just over a year. He was a virgin before me, and I have to say I really loved "teaching him" But now I feel that I have created a monster so to speak because he wants it more than I can give. We have a semi-distance relationship so we when we get to see each other I feel like we are trying have as much sex as possible while we are together, and the obligation of it kind of turns me off. I love him very much, and I can tell he is hurt when I say I'm not in the mood. I feel bad too because at the beginning of the relationship I was pursuing the sex very often, so my questions are;

    How much sex is normal in a 4 day visit?

    Is it me? Is my sex drive just diminishing?

    What should I do about it?


    CLIFFS: distance relationship. love boyfriend. he wants sex more often than i do, but we dont see each other that often so I feel pressure to do it as much as possible, which kills my sex drive. HELP!
     
  2. phreekill

    phreekill radioclit

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    If you're worried about the amount he wants and you dont feel comfortable, spend yer time out n about, then you wont have to shut him down an you can spend quality time doing the normal stuff you'd miss out on.
    As far as a diminishing sex drive, thats for you to figure out :dunno:
    good luck tho :naughtyd:
     
  3. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Talk to him about it and tell him exactly how you feel. Nothing will change if you don't.

    Why not try abstaining during your next visit? Tell him you want it to come naturally instead of being expected to perform multiple times during the weekend. I have personally found that it is hard to become aroused after a long "dry" spell, but the more we have sex the more I end up wanting it. Pleasure yourself a couple of times n the days before and see how that works.

    Good luck.
     
  4. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    ah the old curse of only wanting something if you don't already know you can have as much as you want :)

    tell him you want him to be more coy about it, and not always go straight to "let's have sex". nothing stirs the libido like not knowing if you're going to get it, he should tease you and make you wait until the next day and stuff :drool:
     
  5. Boosted98gsx

    Boosted98gsx Active Member

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    grab some lube and put out for the man. God knows he deserves it, he's been a virgin for how long? I'm in the V club too, but based on abstinance. When my gf and I finally start doing the dirty, she's gonna be sore for a month.
     
  6. nikkostarr5

    nikkostarr5 New Member

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    thanks guys, those are helpful comments. I'm gonna see what works.
     
  7. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    let him do u asleep..........
     
  8. Mr. Kitty Litter

    Mr. Kitty Litter OT Supporter

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    Why the fuck do girls always do this shit?
    With every relationship I've been in, it's always like that. In the beginning we would fuck any change we got....HARD. Then, like 6 months later... the girl becomes so sexually boring, I end up not even WANTING to have sex with her anymore.

    Before anyone says that "you're not arousing her" shit, I am. I do whatever - oral sex, massages, sweet things (gifts, cards, dinners), all that shit - the girl just doesn't want it as much anymore, and I've been trying to understand why, but failing.

    And what about the fellas? Shit, we like massages too! We like being told sweet things, too! Where are my gifts at?! Where are my "I Love You" cards at?! Can I get some crab legs or something, every now and then?

    It's hard to just get "cut-off" like that and still be cool about it. This is a two-way street, ladies. :ugh:
    We just want to understand you :hs:
    (And NO I am not speaking about ALL the women in the WORLD - but this shit happens too much)
     
  9. andymodem

    andymodem Ambitious, but rubbish.

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    :hs:

    [​IMG]
     
  10. C4

    C4 OT OG Aussie #1

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    :rofl:
     
  11. nikkostarr5

    nikkostarr5 New Member

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    whoa....calm down. Maybe you and your girl have reached a point where u better just call it quits. Your situation is not like my situation. I still really want to please him and have sex with him, I just feel like I can't keep up with him sometimes. And according to my recent research I really think my birth control could be a factor. When we first got together, I just started the pill, but now I've been on it for over a year so its possible thats had an effect on my sex drive...

    oh and.......ever think maybe she's bored of you? :noes: :hsugh:
     
  12. Mr. Kitty Litter

    Mr. Kitty Litter OT Supporter

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    We've talked. She's not bored, and she has not lost interest.
    She says she simply does not want it as much - very similar to yourself.

    I am a nympho. She is not. Simple.
    I just wish I could have sex with her more often. Oh well...
     
  13. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    honestly, in a long distance relationship, i would expect at a bare minimum on a 4 day visit to have sex at least 10 times. Thats a bare bottem any less would be a huge disapointment if its been weeks since we have been together...

    you dont mean like long distance, we see each other every weekend do you? if we see each other every weekend sat+ sunday i would expect at the very least hello+goodbye sex, saturday night sex, and at least 1 random...
     
  14. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Do you base your relationship on sex or other things? There are other things to be done together besides having sex. There are other ways to spend time together. Are you going there just for the sex or to actually see your girl? The way it seems above is that you're going just for the sex.
     
  15. mondaynightmike

    mondaynightmike New Member

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    :rofl::rofl:
     
  16. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    wow, an average of 2.5 times per day...

    As already said, there are other things than sex...

    and you should masturbate more often.
     
  17. Bouwnt

    Bouwnt choppa choppaaa

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    Hells yeah.

    And to the people bitching about "is there more to your relationship than sex??"

    UH YES. BUT WHEN I DON'T SEE YOU ALL THAT OFTEN YES I EXPECT TO HAVE LOTS OF SEX WHEN I DO SEE YOU. What a concept! :rofl:
     
  18. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    Its not marathon sex every time, and its really not that time consuming. I mean even if it is, i consider the after sex cuddling and talking in bed in the middle of the day some of the best quality time spent with her. For a guy, you simply cannot get that emotionally connected any faster, or possibly any other way. What are you doing with your guy that you think is so much better? :dunno:

    im not talking about some pound for a few minutes and roll over and go to sleep. Im talking mutually excellent Im so happy to see you i cant keep my hands, eyes, or mouth off you sex followed by hours of cuddling and talking and joking around while rolling around naked in bed and romping around in the house in our underwear feeding each other oranges and listening to great music untill you realize your favorite resturant is closed so you run to the supermarket in whatever clothes you can throw on to pick up ingrediants so I can cook something fancy at home wearing nothing but a pair of jeans mostly on. diner together on the couch, followed by some great dessert fresh out of the oven like a caramel/granny smith apple bread pudding i whipped up because my dad makes bread puddings and i thought it would be good with apples and homemade caramel, and Ill show you how...Throw a nice long hot shower together in there at some point. Maybe watch a movie or hang out with some friends then its late we come home and cant wait to get to naked and next to each other again. Enjoy each other again then fall asleep with her in my arms, my heartbeat in her ears and the smell of her hair all around me. :hs:

    maybe im just a sexual person, but i cant imagine how sex doesnt just happen often between two happy healthy attractive people who care about each other. I mean obviously things can get in the way, but if you only get 4 days together, you should try to make sure they don't. If it isnt "other things" then with ~16 hours a day to be with each other, you should be "able" to fit some sex in there without really sacrificing anything else.
     
  19. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    :ugh: oh noes... 2.5 times a day.. at half an hour average, thats a whole hour and a half.. oh noes, how will we find time to do anything else? that is such a lame argument. if you dont enjoy having sex more then once a week, that might just be the way that you are, and you would be best off finding someone else who has a similar drive. Don't push that bs line about there are other things. if you cant manage to have sex 2 or 3 times a day and still get ALL those other things done too, then you need to work on your time management skills.

    edit: in the context of a 4 day long distance visit. a "vacation" from real life. obviously with work and other obligations things are different.
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2006
  20. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    qfmft :bowdown:

    I miss that.
     
  21. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    i realized i wrote "expect" and i suppose you could misinterpret that. I dont mean that i "expect" a girl to service me at these regular intervals or else, i mean i "expect" lingering glances to turn into teasing touches to turn into messedup and hair and sweaty sheats and happy people, just based on my experience of what works for me and those ive been with.

    i am totally ruining my ot asshole image today.
     
  22. andymodem

    andymodem Ambitious, but rubbish.

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    Wow. :eek3:
     
  23. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    how often do you guys see each other?
    because my gf and i see each other for 2 weekends a month and we usually have sex about 5 times during each of those weekends, and she's MORE than ok with it.
     
  24. tominos

    tominos New Member

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    nikkostar: i like your av. natalie portman was awesome in that movie. so yeah, get back to your discussion. :wiggle:
     
  25. tominos

    tominos New Member

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    so true. that stage in the relationship doesn't seem to last forever though. maybe you have truly found the one if you can do that all the time.
     

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