SRS My best friend just died in a car accident this morning

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by smellslikeshitgoddam, Feb 27, 2006.

  1. smellslikeshitgoddam

    smellslikeshitgoddam Eat Shit

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    I seriously cannot function right now. Its like one minute im talking to him and we're laughing having a good time, and the next he is gone. I've never felt this in my life and I dont know what to do. I'm sure someone on here has experienced what I am going through, so thats why I turned to ya'll. What did you do? How did you handle it? How long were you feeling the way you felt. Thank you guys, i seriously need some support and help.
     
  2. HardTech

    HardTech hungry

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    :hug:

    sorry for your loss.. I can't imagine what you're going through right now.

    As somebody without a "best friend", my only advice would be to be happy they were in your life and remember the good times :cool:
     
  3. Easygo

    Easygo New Member

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    :hug:

    I'm sorry.

    I've had similar experience. :( I'm a noob here, and I don't have any reference for your age. I'm sorry if the following sounds too crude coming from a username you've never heard of. I hope it helps. I'm trying to write what I wish someone could have told me then, when the internet didn't exist as it is now.

    Right now, be good to yourself. You're in shock. That is a normal reaction, perfectly normal. This initial shock will last a few days or even weeks. Eat, drink, whatever you want, smoke cigarettes (if you do) as much as you want, but lay off drugs/alcohol because you are not in your regular state.

    Pamper yourself.

    Buy the CD or DVD or videogame or book that you've been thinking about. Go out to dinner, alone yes, to a different place, not one of your normal hangouts. Be good to yourself as you sort out your memories and feelings for your friend. You have to do this, just do this as it comes, don't try to delay it, or rush it.

    You could gather up any photos you have of your friend and make copies of a few for his family, to give to them later. Don't overwhelm them. If you have anything that belongs to him, gather that stuff too. There's no hurry for this, do it when you feel like it.

    Remember the good times, you'll always have those memories.

    Eventually, not too long, you'll have a mental "place" to put these memories. Your friend would want you to keep going strong. Wouldn't you, if things were reversed, for your friend?

    You could Google "grief support" and you might find some information useful for you. There are some books on Amazon, search for "grief" and any one will lead you to several more. There's no hurry for this either, you could search these things whenever you feel like it or don't do it if you don't feel like it.
     
  4. Hazyheath

    Hazyheath New Member

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    I am so sorry to hear that. I have never experienced the loss of a best friend but my grandfather who was like a best friend to me passed away.You never fully get over it. It has been about 10 years and i still get upset and choked up every once in a while. The first month or so is hard. Just remember the good times you had together and you will eventually feel a bit better. Just keep those memmories flowing becuase your firend can live forever through those memmories. You can also try talking to his family too since they are going through the same thing. I hope this helped a bit. I know its different since it sounds like he was young. Once again Im sorry.
     
  5. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Try to keep yourself busy as hard as it is. Even though your mind will keep going back to it, just find ways to pass the time. Eventually you'll be through the hard part. :hug:
     
  6. smellslikeshitgoddam

    smellslikeshitgoddam Eat Shit

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    Thanks guys, i really appreciate ya'lls support. Time is all i need.

    Thank you so much.
     
  7. ~*Mia*~

    ~*Mia*~ New Member

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    I just wanted to lend my support and tell you I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how I would feel if I lost my best friend. Loss is never an easy thing. **hugs**
     
  8. Dementio

    Dementio OT Supporter

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    fwiw, I know the feeling
    When I was younger, the love of my life died before she actually became that, and I never quite forgave myself. It was hard, and always will be, to deal with losing her. But, it does get better, and one day you'll find yourself remembering things you did as friends and smiling. Of course you'll feel the loss, you're human, but isn't heart wrenching.
     
  9. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    I lost a a few friends in high school, most to accidents (drunk drivers hit them) and 2 to terminal illnesses. The first death really put into perspective for me that NO ONE is safe from death, and how precious life really is, and that anyone can go anytime. I was in shock for days. The only death I had experienced otherwise was my grandfather, but was 80 and had lived a full life. But to lose someone my age, really opened my eyes that we may or may not be here tomorrow. With each death, I went through an array of emotions. But what helped me get through things the most was my involvement with horseback riding and 4H at the time. It was something I did back then, and I dove into it deeper. I loved being with the horses so I got as fully involved as possible to get what I could out of it.

    My advice would be if there is something you enjoy doing, start enjoying it more. Look for other things to enjoy as well. Losing people you love or are close to hurts...but we can't spend the rest of what's left of OUR time fretting about our loss. Take the time to mourn, but don't dwell on your sadness. Take care of yourself, and then when you are ready, pick up the pieces and march forward. Live your own life to the fullest, we don't know when our time is up.


    :hug:
     
  10. verveintuition

    verveintuition New Member

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    :hug: Though we're all pretty much strangers, I offer my deepest condolences for your loss.

    I'm in agreement with Easygo that you should take very good care of yourself right now. Pamper yourself and do what you feel is comfortable in your grief. I don't necessarily think you should ignore it, but just take it as it comes when you *can* take it. I'm so sorry. :(
     
  11. North_Hardin_An

    North_Hardin_An New Member

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    :hugot:
     
  12. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    I am really sorry.
    TIME, from my experience is what it takes. Which, of course, SUCKS. I have noticed that I could go for months thinking I was perfectly okay, and then something would come up that would trigger a memory or something, and I'd be a sobbing mess. It's okay for that to happen, though.

    Give yourself time to grieve. everyone is different, so it really doesn't matter how long it takes for anyone else to process grief.

    Again, so sorry for your loss. {{{HUGS}}}
     
  13. deathbystereo

    deathbystereo New Member

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  14. depressed

    depressed New Member

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    :hug: Sorry for your loss
     
  15. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    We are here for you :hug:
     
  16. Jasmine

    Jasmine New Member

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    my heart goes out to you. please stop by my site if you get the chance, i've had a couple of people write in dealing with deaths of love ones, and its never easy and trust me, having gone through it myself, it takes time... and a long time... so read through my site and see that helps, if not, please don't hestiate to write me

    http://myadvicenow.com/
     
  17. chiisu

    chiisu New Member

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    Take time to work through it, and never be afraid to open up to somone you can trust about how you feel, or even just break down and let it out. Try not to do what I did, and that was to nearly destroy my liver with constant drinking; doesn't help at all :\
     
  18. Jasmine

    Jasmine New Member

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    yah don't get into drinking because it will only be a temporary fix and you don't want to become addicted to it
     

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