SRS My best friend (anonymous post)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Darketernal, Apr 28, 2009.

  1. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    My best friend whom I've known since 11th grade in high school (it's been 9 years now that I've known him) is moving out of the country for school and eventhough he will be back 2-3 times a year, I will miss him terribly.

    We are both guys and our friendship is "macho" in the sense that we've never really given each other hugs. It feels awkward for us mostly because we're both not huggers. But when I saw him 2 days ago (which will be the last time I see him in a while), I wanted to give him a massive hug. I wanted to let him know that I valued our friendship.

    In many ways, I felt like it was really goodbye. We may talk about hanging out when he comes back but med school will be a few years worth of being away. I've known the feeling of friends "abandoning" me before as I was the one who moved away from my home country about 11 years ago. When my buddies growing up eventually stopped writing, I felt lonely and sad. This experience left me forever scarred inside and having a fear of abandonment by friends. It really only comes out when my best friends are growing apart. Inside, I felt that the years that will go by will eventually separate us for good and we'll be nothing more than friends who call each other once in a while to talk about "light and casual" stuff.

    Me and this buddy used to be able to talk about lots of things, like girls we liked, personal family things, his break up etc. I always tried to be there for him. As the years went by, I think we grew apart somewhat. We still hung out a lot but he found a new person (or two) to share his personal thoughts with (they were girls he liked, eventually grew close to them). I felt jealous. We never talked about his parent's recent divorce (I didn't want to bring it up until he did, but he never did but I understand, it's personal) I tried to let it go but it always bothered me inside.

    We did a lot of things together because we lived so close. He and I stayed local for college. Play sports, hang out watching sports/movies, go out and chill with other friends, everything, you name it. He was the center of most events because he was a lot more extroverted than I was. He was the door to many fun things in my life. I would hang out with his extended family as well because all my family is back in my home country (whom I see once every few years at the most). He gave me a lot that I needed because I was incapable of getting it myself.

    Anyway, he's going away. And I feel that this will rock the foundations of my world. And I am afraid of losing him for good, a guy whom I've come to see as a brother. I guess I just wanted to let it out (hence, the Asylum)

    Should I tell him all this? I couldn't decide last night, a long sleepless night.
     
  2. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Tell him. Almost every single one of us feels this way (from my observations).

    Our lives do change and people do come and go. I've learned to let go without resentment.
     
  3. SPACECATAZ

    SPACECATAZ New Member

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    You're worried about this being gay in some way from what I'm understanding?

    If you value your friendship, just tell the dude you guys are great friends and you hope you remain that way while he is gone.
     
  4. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    that sucks. one of my best buds joined the navy and is leaivng soon so i empathize with you
     
  5. TopicOff

    TopicOff Boink OT Supporter

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    :hug: I went through the same ordeal, in fact, I'm still in this limbo where I feel that my best friend is slowly drifting away from me, although, we do talk once a week. He has a lot of new friends in his everyday life (we are both in different colleges) and I feel jealous when he mentions them :o.

    The only real suggestion I have for you is try to keep the communication strong. Talking on the phone with my friend somewhat helps me :hsd:.
     

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