In this thread I will go over the basics of Successful Dating for Men. I will cover as many areas as I can, and if you have any questions, please, feel free to ask. Am I Ready For A Relationship? Let’s start out right here. Are you ready for a relationship? A lot of guys are so desperate to be in a relationship, but aren’t ready for it. They usually aren’t aware that they aren’t ready for a relationship, and usually believe within their heart that they are ready… but they aren’t. In order to be ready for someone else to enter your life, you need to be content with your own. If you feel desperate to have someone, or if you are depressed because you do not have someone… then you are not ready. Having another person should not be the solution to your unhappiness. If you are trying to cure your unhappiness by latching onto someone else then you are not facing some deep seeded issues that must be addressed. Besides, what partner wants to shoulder the burden of your happiness? That’s a large load to drop on someone and it’s unfair to both her and yourself. You typically see this from couples after they split. You’ll see the guy completely destroyed… beyond anything you’d normally expect. Sure, a break up can be very difficult, but you will often see the extreme effects from someone whom wasn’t ready for a relationship due to them not addressing these deep seeded issues. They will sometimes take it as far as hurting themselves or others. That’s why these issues need to be addressed before a person is ready to get involved with someone. A healthy person shouldn’t-and doesn’t-need a partner to have a good life. Certainly it can be lonely without someone to join you on life’s journey, but a partner should be an enhancement to your already good life, not the sole thing you have got going for you. Again, that puts an unfair burden on the other person. If you have great faith and confidence in yourself, if you believe you deserve a good life, if you know you will be okay on your own and can still focus on your life, then you will find dating to be so much easier. You’ll be ready for it. What Attracts Women? A lot of things are involved in this, too many to completely cover. If you are ready for a relationship then that means you are content with yourself. If you are happy and content with yourself, you will exude confidence and value. This will make you more attractive. Now, just as with guys, women are all different. What one woman may find attractive another women may find unattractive. So the answer to the question of What Attracts Women cannot be answered with something as simple as: Good looks, good personality, etc. Those things may mean something different to someone else. One girl may think you’re average, another unattractive, and yet another may find you attractive… all within the same hour. So let’s talk Value. This may be the most confusing and difficult part to understand. A woman is attracted to a man she feels is her equal, or sometimes even a man she feels carries a greater value than her. Women are attracted to men with value. Value means a lot of different things to different women, but if you have traits that she values, she’s more likely to be attracted to you. Some things you cannot help. If she likes Asian men and you are white, that’s not something you can help. If she likes tall men and you are short, that’s not something you can help. It’s just not meant to be. But there will always be other women out there whom value a trait that the previous girl did not. There are things you can help. Most women-and all sane ones I have ever met-value guys who value their selves. In order for a woman to see a man as having value, he needs to know his own value, to value himself. This is where Self Confidence comes into play. A man whom has confidence in himself displays this by caring about himself, standing up for his self (especially to her), making sure his needs are met, etc. A self confident man does not seek the approval of others, he does not cater to others in order to be accepted, etc. If a guy demonstrates Self Confidence, he will be sending her signals that he has value. Even if he isn’t the best looking guy in the room, if he is walking around the room carrying Self Respect and Self Confidence, people pick up on that and it will do wonders for improving people’s opinion of you. It’s attractive. It tells people you are someone. If you respect you, then others will follow suit. How Do I Gain Self Confidence? It doesn’t happen overnight. This is something that is going to take initiative and work. If you think of yourself as the dork that no one likes, then it’s going to take a motivated effort on your behalf to break that negative attitude and respect yourself again. If you ever hope to find a successful healthy adult relationship, then you need to begin to like yourself again. A good way to do that is to find a hobby. Everyone has something they love to do. Find a hobby that you enjoy that you are good at, something you take pride in. It could be weight lifting, it could be art, it could be swimming, it could be martial arts, it could be poker, it could be anything. Just something that allows you to get out there and compete. Competition is healthy. When you see how well you are doing, you tend to feel better about yourself. For me, it was weightlifting. I always thought I was naturally strong, so I got my rear in the gym and busted my tail, put on lots of muscle. Once I started seeing a muscular figure in the mirror, I started feeling more attractive. The point is that you need to start taking pride in your accomplishments. Set small goals for yourself. Not leaping goals that seem unattainable, but smaller goals that you can easily strive for. As you reach your goals you are accomplishing something, and accomplishing something does wonders for your Self Esteem.