SRS Murder She Wrote...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Britney Spears, Mar 16, 2005.

?

Murder?

  1. Guilty As Charged! [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v205/Britney_Spears/m.jpg[/IMG]

    22.2%
  2. Not Guilty [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v205/Britney_Spears/ojCustom.jpg[/IMG]

    22.2%
  3. I Want What You're Smoking. [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v205/Britney_Spears/dre.jpg[/IMG]

    55.6%
  1. Britney Spears

    Britney Spears New Member

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    Beverly Hillz, California *~ I LOVE FANMAIL! ~* Je
    Psychology + Marijuana..
    Based on Actually Events That Took Place This Morning...

    2:12 am; I went into the kitchen, turned on the faucet and lone & behold, A ROACH. :eek4:

    OMG, OMG, a roach just crawled out of the sink!1 My nerves went into overdrive and grabbed the can of RAID, only to unload the entire bottle on the son of a bitch. Ok, All is safe in the house. Peace is restored.

    Sitting @ the box, navigating the mouse, OMG a roach on my hand! But there was no roach on my hand. Holy crap, where did it go? It's probably on me. I stood up ubrupty, wailing, trying to shaking it off. Ok, I need armour...


    Britney Spears:
    HP: 154
    Magic: 0
    Equipt: Socks, Long Pants, Hoodie, Bandanna, Baseball Cap, Nylon Gloves.
    InTOXICation: Very

    *Mission Impossible theme*

    So I creep back into the kitchen...
    Manage to pull the rip cord. Let there be light!
    Open the cupboard under the sink.

    YOU FOUND 2 BOTTLES OF BORIC ACID!

    Awesome.
    I'm spraying this shit like there's no tomorrow. Standing on the counter, putting it atop the cupboard, behind the fridge, in the corners, behind the stove... And all these frosted white creepy crawlys come to attack me. Bottle one empty. Another. Dead on target. - rinse and repeat for each room in the house.

    I didn't even know these little fuckers existed. Then again, I'm never really here. So while I'm working the bathroom. I open the pantry. Ok, I have never seen this before, there is a dumbwaiter in the pantry that goes to the basement. As I open the door to the pantry, a creeper! running from the light at the speed of light! I'LL GET YOU YET, MOTHER FUCKER!

    He scuffled up his silk web, made hell of an attempt to flee, but it was too late. Before I could think, I had the lid off that bottle of boric acid like lighting and I unleased the fury inside. Die, fucker! Die, die, DIE, MOTHER FUCKER! DIE!

    I backed away as I smoked him out. And the mushroom cloud, rise high...

    I just killed my helper.

    ...

    Dead.

    When the smoke cleared I looked back in at him. And destroyed was his habitat, his home. Lying there, in his icy white web. Petrified. And so I shut the door, never to look back.

    How long he had lived there? Probably longer than I. And I just raid in and kill him in one single moment.

    His one and only purpose, to serve and protect the house and I murdered him in the cold blood. I just killed my little helper.

    I stood there for a good five minutes. Thinking. Wondering if the spider had a higher capacity of emotion than other inscets. Wondering if karma would come back and bite my ass. I feel so fucking bad...


    Oh well. it's not like I killed my dog with a hammer.
     
  2. CBBaller

    CBBaller keira is below.

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    um, ok...
     
  3. Britney Spears

    Britney Spears New Member

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    I don't think you guys are ready for me.
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

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    well, *I* thought it funny...
     
  5. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    :rofl:.. im not sure whats funnier.. your post, or the randomness of this appearing in the asylum :big grin: you nut. :bigthumb:
     
  6. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    haha you're such a geek. but that's a good thing ;)
     
  7. BBQ Monster

    BBQ Monster New Member

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    Hey it makes us have a laugh, some of us need that. :)
     
  8. Britney Spears

    Britney Spears New Member

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    What's that mean?

    Anyway, this is serious business.
    Who's gonna protect me now?
     
  9. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    My best friend once unloaded an entire can of Raid on a moth. He said its tongue basically turned inside-out. :barf:
     
  10. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Nah, I don't think its Peyomp. The strain of humour is similar, but Peyomp writes and scans at a much higher level.
    No disrespect, but there it is.

    Besides, he's too busy working on the chain gang before the extradition proceedings take place.
     
  11. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    hahahaha
     
  12. katt_85

    katt_85 OT Supporter

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    lol. No one said OJ was not guilty.
     
  13. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    If you see 1 cockroach in your house, you can be certain that there's 100 more you haven't seen yet.

    [​IMG]
     

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