MPH Blog - LS4 Impala SS, GM SEMA Solstice, Ford Focus ST

Discussion in 'OT Driven' started by TriShield, Nov 1, 2005.

  1. TriShield

    TriShield Super Moderator® Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2001
    Messages:
    132,732
    Likes Received:
    1,596
    Location:
    PRESIDENTIAL TOWER, GREAT AGAIN, NY
    Who's Car Am I Anyway?

    [​IMG]

    Just drove the new Chevy Impala SS and I was left feeling a little bewildered. One thing about driving a different car every day is that you tend to take on the personality of whatever car you're in. In an H1 Alpha, you become an alpha male asshole, with ego inflated and compassion for your fellow man diminished. A BMW 7-series gives you a Nietzschian sense of superiority, you pity the poor Acura driver you're forced to cut off, and you bemoan the lack of a valet presence at Taco Bell. Behind the wheel of the VW Beetle Convertible you feel a sense of fabulousness heretofore unfamiliar, and find yourself visiting public restrooms even when you don't have to go. You get the idea.

    Anyway, driving the Impala SS, I felt seriously schizophrenic. Am I a muscle car guy? A family man desperate to hang on to his youthful lust for speed? A GM employee who wishes he could have bought a 300C? I know I love the aux input that lets me hook my iPod directly into the stereo, but am I an iPod guy? I know I am when I'm in the Cobalt SS, but that has no aux input. Am I so wealthy that I can afford to drive a gas hog? If so, what am I doing in a Chevy? I was so flummoxed I had to take a ride in the Nissan Xterra, where I could simply be an idiot.

    David Merline

    ----

    Not stimulated for this hardtop

    [​IMG]

    "A hardtop version of the Solstice would just make sense," someone on the website wrote. Maybe so, but not a hartop that looks like this. In the words of our estimable managing editor, Dave Merline, "What are those on the roof—ass cheeks?" Just horrible. And the car itself, with all its nostrils, gills, and puncture wounds, is indicative of the identity crisis still raging at Pontiac. Management says they want "clean, sculptural forms" for Pontiac's cars. Knuckle-dragging customers purchase Pontiacs in direct proportion to how many holes the stylists punch into them (see Trans-Am). If Pontiac screws up the Solstice, all hope will be lost. Shame on you, David Thomas, for not seeing what an epic disaster this could be.

    Eddie

    ----

    mph drives the Ford Focus ST

    [​IMG]

    I've just driven the new Ford Focus ST — and I was impressed. Not that this is of more than peripheral interest to Ford's North American consumers, of course, because you're not going to be able to drive it. Europeans get to play with 225-hp of turbocharged five-cylinder power and cutting edge styling, we make do with the shovel-sharp ZX3 and its styrofoam interior.

    This is because Ford is, as everyone knows, a German company.

    Anyway, back to the story. What was nearly as impressive as the ST itself was the location Ford had chosen for the dynamic ass-spanking — Bernie Ecclestone's Paul Ricard circuit in the South of France. Having fallen into decline after the French Grand Prix moved to Magny-Cours in the 'eighties, Bernie bought Ricard about five years ago and ploughed several of his soft-won millions into turning it into a state of the art test track for F1 teams and the motor industry.

    Mike Duff

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Short Bus

    Short Bus Beep beep!

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2001
    Messages:
    104,725
    Likes Received:
    0
  3. anomaly

    anomaly If you weren't around for the original HA.net spli

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2000
    Messages:
    45,404
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    SF
  4. atomic punk

    atomic punk pretty hate machine

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2001
    Messages:
    28,237
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    head wound city, ct
    :rofl: @ beetle convertible description
     
  5. WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2003
    Messages:
    19,991
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    This guy speaks the truth.
     
  6. TotalEclipse

    TotalEclipse New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2005
    Messages:
    6,032
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Outside Philly, PA
    :rofl: I love the Beetle convertible description :rofl:
     
  7. TriShield

    TriShield Super Moderator® Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2001
    Messages:
    132,732
    Likes Received:
    1,596
    Location:
    PRESIDENTIAL TOWER, GREAT AGAIN, NY
    MPH's blog is always right, it's uncanny.
     
  8. Reject

    Reject Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2002
    Messages:
    35,154
    Likes Received:
    18
    Location:
    Sugar Hill, Ga.
    That solstice looks like a mini viper in a way :eek3:
     
  9. RobsMob

    RobsMob Guest

    :bowrofl: @ description of the new Impala.
     
  10. WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2003
    Messages:
    19,991
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    hmm, I would like to read more of his reviews.
     
  11. atomic punk

    atomic punk pretty hate machine

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2001
    Messages:
    28,237
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    head wound city, ct
    if by mini viper, you mean bag of ass...
     
  12. go ford focus whooo
     
  13. lionsgraphics

    lionsgraphics OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Messages:
    181,678
    Likes Received:
    37
    .
     
  14. Basic

    Basic OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2004
    Messages:
    5,384
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tampa Bay
  15. Jeebus

    Jeebus Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2000
    Messages:
    55,368
    Likes Received:
    86
    Location:
    KNOCK KNOCK! LOL!
    :rofl: at photoshopped Viper GTS roof on solstice.
     
  16. SycoPhant

    SycoPhant Get out my way

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2001
    Messages:
    17,759
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Erie, PA
  17. slowbird

    slowbird I am the son, and the heir, of a shyness that is c OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 9, 2004
    Messages:
    40,321
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Steelers/Pens crew
    OH FUCK PLEASE FORD SELL THE GOOD FOCUS IN AMERICA YOU SAPS :wtc: HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIGHT OFF THE CIVIC RICERS AND INTEGRA PENISWHACKERS!?!?!?!?!?!?!? :wtc:
     
  18. Evan

    Evan OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 3, 2002
    Messages:
    68,612
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    SF CA
    :rofl:x90832603282
     
  19. Raider007

    Raider007 om nom nom nom

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2002
    Messages:
    17,987
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bay Area
    ouch...:eek3:
     
  20. slowbird

    slowbird I am the son, and the heir, of a shyness that is c OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 9, 2004
    Messages:
    40,321
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Steelers/Pens crew
    No Trishield thread is permitted to die. :run:
     
  21. Lupie

    Lupie I'm a virgin slut.

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2001
    Messages:
    47,946
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Mill Creek, WA
  22. Seeker

    Seeker Brofessional OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2001
    Messages:
    122,697
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Garage 5252
    Cool stuff. The idea of a fwd V8 Impala makes me cringe. You'd think GM learned their lesson with the Caddy STS. They decided to make it rwd, so you think everything's cool. Then bam! they release two more fwd V8s in place of the STS. :ugh2: An Impala replacement based on the Kappa can't come soon enough.

    The Solstice needs to be a coupe. It would be funny to see a hot version take down the Porsche Cayman for half the price.

    The new Focus ST is cool. Amazingly, it's faster than the last Focus RS. There's plenty of room now for an awd Focus RS that could take on the Impreza and Evo. :x:
     
  23. TriShield

    TriShield Super Moderator® Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2001
    Messages:
    132,732
    Likes Received:
    1,596
    Location:
    PRESIDENTIAL TOWER, GREAT AGAIN, NY
    Wake up to something from last night.
     
  24. TankRizzo

    TankRizzo Sensational Moderator Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2001
    Messages:
    238,833
    Likes Received:
    2,510
    "What are those on the roof—ass cheeks?" :bowrofl:
     
  25. BLoG

    BLoG Scented Meat

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2001
    Messages:
    293,974
    Likes Received:
    2,994
    Location:
    Austin, Texas
    LOLLERCAUST
     

Share This Page