Moving on, making progress.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by NiggaPHX420, Jan 8, 2008.

  1. NiggaPHX420

    NiggaPHX420 OT Supporter

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    Hay Guises :hay:

    About 4 months ago a made a huge, nasty, emo thread about breaking up, closing out my first real relationship. I was crushed, ripped to pieces, and beyond depressed for several days. I received a lot of awesome feedback from you guys here in the Vag, and I wanted to thank you for that.

    Ive done some reading. I read No More Mr. Nice Guy, a bit of Neil Strauss' stuff, etc. While NMMNG is a bit cheesy, I AM/WAS definitely a "Nice Guy," or at least held MANY of those traits. Again, for any of you males that read this, and you find yourself thinking that "all women are dumb and just want a dickhead of a guy," No More Mr. Nice Guy is a GREAT read for you, IMO. Some parts are very cheesy, or wont even apply to you, but a lot of the ideas in the book really hit ME square in the face.

    Anyways, all that BS aside, Im moving on. While I do still have a day here and there, where I cant get the ex off my mind, I know a few hours later, or the next day, Ill be over it.

    What Ive been doing:

    1. Smile more. Some of you know Ive lost ~200 pounds via gastric bypass. I am now 6'4'' 310, as opposed to my starting weight of 506. This alone has done a lot to help me mentally, of course. Not a giant blob anymore = more happy. Another ~70 pounds and Ill be a happy fuckin camper. I still smile when I walk by a mirror. Anyways, back to smiling. Aside from my front two upper teeth being a smidge too large, I have a pretty fucking nice smile. In the past couple months Ive received a lot of random compliments from people, friends and strangers. Bottom line is, smiling more shows that Im a happy, confident person, and people are more prone to WANT to talk to me. I try to smile all the time now.

    2. TALK TO PEOPLE. This is so fucking huge for anyone whos introverted, shy, etc. I am really good at running the show, being the alpha male, entertaining the crowd, when Im with PEOPLE I KNOW. New people? Not so much. Thats been my biggest flaw, IMO, because anyone that has met me more than twice knows my name and remembers that Im the nice, fun guy. So what have I done to address my issue of talking and interacting with new people? I talk to random people. I go to the mall by myself and make it a point to talk to 10 or more random people. Male, female, young, old. The female part is the tough one :noes: But after talking to the first few people, it comes much easier to me, so I talk to the wimmins :noes:

    3. Work out/Jog/Hike. I havent really been to the gym much in the past month due to taking 2 weeks to visit family out of state, my workout buddy having finals at school, and other holiday shit going on. However, I have made it a point to try and go hiking nearly every day that Ive been here at home. Realistically that equates to about 15 times in the last month. I used to have a near-heart attack if I tried to run or jog before. Now I can comfortably jog for several minutes straight :bowdown: Know what else is cool about my hiking/jogging place? Lots of people to casually talk to :h5:

    4. Care less. Well that sounds shitty, right? No. I used to be one of those people that felt the need to troubleshoot everyone elses problems and avoid my own. Very characteristic of a "Nice Guy." Ive stopped doing that. If my friends have an issue, Ill ask em whats up. If they dont give me much detail, fine, thats cool. Theyll talk to me if they want to. This basically applies to women in my life. I am no longer a doormat or crying shoulder. If you have a boyfriend, tell this bullshit to him. He's the one beating up the poon, ya know. So while it sounds dicked, it actually feels pretty fucking good. Keep other people's negativity their negativity.

    5. Quit my job. Spent over 2 years working as a loan agent. Lucky for me, I am a jew bastard and have learned to save money very well. I have a shit ton in the bank, and can go a very long time without a job if I have to. I am done with the stressful bullshit of the fucked up mortgage world. I am currently hunting for a reasonable paying job to pass the time.

    6. Reach for goals. Above I mentioned passing the time. I figure in another year or so, Ill be down to my goal weight and in primo shape. At which point in time, Ill be applying to one of the local police branches :noes: Always wanted to become a cop. 20 years of service gets me a ~$4k/mo pension. Ill also have school paid for by the PD, so I can do whatever the fuck I want when I retire between 45-50 :bowdown: and have a nice pension backing me up.


    Blah blah, thanks for reading thus far. Just wanted to comment on my past few days.

    Some friends and I went to a cool bar about 15 miles from my house. Oddly enough, I ran into a couple people I was acquaintances with back in my high school days. Some people hate this, I fucking love it... because Im 200 pounds lighter and it blows peoples minds. Anyways, one chick I knew was a bartender. Shes gorgeous, smart, and 5'10'', PERFECT for my 6'10'' buddy. We're working on that. Anyways, MY highlight of the night was sitting next to two hotties. I sat there next to them for several minutes trying to figure out in my head what the fuck I should say to strike up a convo. I dont even remember what I said, but it worked beautifully. Had fun chit-chatting with them both for about 20 mins. Introduced my 6'10'' friend to them, chatted a bit more. Went outside, they followed :bowdown: Didnt get any numbers, because one was supposedly married with the kid, and the other was kind of a mother-hen bitch. Oh well. Felt good to talk to hotties.

    Tonight I asked out a waitress. Too bad I didnt see the big blingin rock on her finger :doh: Whatever, she smiled and blushed, but said she cant. Then I saw the rock.

    Oh well. Both times netted me no tangible results, but fuck, I gave it a shot and am still alive to tell the tale :bowdown:

    Anyways, that was fun. Hope I get at least a few replies/questions :o

    < The Vag
     
  2. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Yeah the vag has helped me quite a bit too. I feel like when I'm replying to other people's threads I'm confident in the answers I give.. but when I have my own questions the answers are hard to find. Glad to hear you're doing so well man. You'll be amazed at how fast you can lose that weight if you're motivated.
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Awesome progress.

    btw, being depressed for a couple days is nothing. Try having no appetite or motivation to even get out of bed for months on end :hs:
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Hey, this might sound lame but have you ever watched "The Biggest Loser?" I watch it ever season because it's ridiculously inspiring to watch these poeple lose weight. I think you'd honestly benefit from watching it :) It's on tonight and is only the second episode, maybe you should check it out.
     
  5. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    or you could stop being lazy and add resistance training into your weekly routine
     
  6. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    :werd:

    To the OP, :bowdown: . I love seeing threads like this down here. Awesome job.
     
  7. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    :werd:
    giving advice can be more helpful than giving it, because to hear the words come out of your own mouth (or type them) when giving advice to a situation similar to your own can be very powerful.

    ^that was a horrible sentence. whatever.
     
  8. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    That's why I spend so much time in the Vag. Nine times out of ten I am speaking to myself when I give advice.
     
  9. kicking_ascii

    kicking_ascii OT Supporter

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  10. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    ^5

    I've been doing exactly this for two years, in addition to study and introspection.

    Now that i am dating again, when I have a problem I just step back from myself and I can usually get a handle on it.
     
  11. NiggaPHX420

    NiggaPHX420 OT Supporter

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    Baby steps, my good man. Thank you for the input, however.

    At the point in my life, I feel like the hiking and jogging combo is very beneficial. Its kinda serene and... fucking awesome(?) to climb to the top of the mountain and look around for a bit.
     
  12. NiggaPHX420

    NiggaPHX420 OT Supporter

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    Definitely. Just like any other subject, speaking it is the best way to learn and understand it. I dont offer much advice in here, because hell, Im still in major need of improvement myself. But the few things I have experienced, I am happy to explain my point of view on.

    Thanks again to urryone.

    Went hiking for 2 hours today, legs were jello when I was done :bowdown:
     
  13. NiggaPHX420

    NiggaPHX420 OT Supporter

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    :hay: lil guy
     
  14. NiggaPHX420

    NiggaPHX420 OT Supporter

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    Seen it a few times, very cool to see people do so well. Having everything paid for, including specific diet and personal training is a nice advantage.

    Props to them for doing it right:bowdown:

    It pisses me off that they parade the fatties around in skin-tight clothing or tank tops :hs:
     
  15. jonno

    jonno New Member

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  16. NiggaPHX420

    NiggaPHX420 OT Supporter

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    :hay: IM me more, a-hole. We used to be like E-lovers :wtc:
     
  17. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    regardless.. you'd see better results faster with cardio and weight training
     
  18. NiggaPHX420

    NiggaPHX420 OT Supporter

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    Thank you. I know this.

    Another thing to understand is that with gastric bypass surgery, unless I eat NOTHING but BRO-TIEN shakes, muscle mass will not develop. I have to wait until Im closer to my goal weight and regenerate my stomach a bit, consume more BRO-TIEN :hs:
     
  19. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    you'll gain some muscle mass from noob gains and you'd still see noob strength gains. + even if you gain 0 muscle it'll speed up fatloss. BRO
     
  20. NiggaPHX420

    NiggaPHX420 OT Supporter

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    Your sexy brain makes me moist
     
  21. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    :rofl:
     
  22. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    keeping it real ^
     
  23. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    how is the fatty fucking going? :rofl:

    just playing...but no...really?
     
  24. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    Tonight I asked out a waitress. Too bad I didnt see the big blingin rock on her finger :doh: Whatever, she smiled and blushed, but said she cant. Then I saw the rock.

    fucking ballin right there. It's when you finally let yourself free that you start to see characteristics like the ones you mention above shine. Good shit man and keep on chugging.
     
  25. NiggaPHX420

    NiggaPHX420 OT Supporter

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    Pretty good. I look at it as A) getting my dick wet and B) a good workout :o
     

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