Moving in with g/f maybe, what should I think?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by 2000GT, Aug 4, 2005.

  1. 2000GT

    2000GT Active Member

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    My girlfriend and I have been dating roughly 3 months or so, we were friends prior.
    The past 2 months we have spent almost everyday togethor, inclusive of a trip to Vegas, and her sleeping at my place 6 days a week, and sometimes all 7 days.
    She has a place that she rents for roughly $750 a month, whilst I pay a mortgage of close to 1300 plus strata fees etc.

    She models so she doesnt actually go to work a lot, say once or twice a month she shoots. She makes good money, but decided until some school stuff starts in september, she is going to work for her parents who are carpenters. She goes to work for them 2-3 days a week, and usualy one weekend day. I work 5 days a week, and train mon-thurs plus sunday. So we see each other before bed, and sometimes meet for lunch.

    Anyway, the point of the thread is we have discussed her moving into my place partially, and her moms place partially. She stays there on nights she works back to back with her folks, and barely ever stays at her own place. She could help me financially and things wouldnt change much. My only concern is we are BOTH expecting this to not be our last relationship. She knows that we will probably date a lot more in the future, but right now we are happy and content. (we have differant views on life involving marriage and kids, but neither of us want to worry about that yet, so it doesnt affect us now)...

    Do you think this would be bad to move in with me if 2 months down the road I wanna be single or she wants to be single?
     
  2. Ryuhei

    Ryuhei Oh gawd

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    As long as she can sleep/stay/live @ her mom's house go for it. That's an out for both of you. It'll be fine.

    PS
    I love the word whilst.
     
  3. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    :rofl: You better make sure you can make it work, once you move in together it really is a commitment. If something turns south, be prepared for hell.

    Ever watch the judge shows on TV? Most cases are from people moving in together 2 quick, breaking up, and then suing the shit out of each other for everything they can get.

    Im not saying its a bad idea or not, but unless its a really serious relationship that you really are willing to work long term, dont do it. 3 months isnt much time to get to know each other, even though you were friends before. Living together changes ALOT of things, it can be for the good or it could end the relationship.
     
  4. 2000GT

    2000GT Active Member

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    Thats the thing. I dont see us being togethor for a "long" term. We are very happy now, and I dont want things to change yet, but I can imagine myself wanting to see what else is out there, as I can imagine she would feel the same.
    I dont feel her being a threat trying to sue me for anything. Basically all her stuff will go in storage (furniture etc) and some of her clothes will stay at my place and some at her moms. Everything will be mine.
    We have spent a total of about a month togethor in the same bed everynight, and close to 2 months with her staying at her moms. She already helps with groceries and has a key to get in and out as she is working at differant times.
    It seems like a bit of a special situation.
     
  5. Ryuhei

    Ryuhei Oh gawd

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    I agree with what RedVsBlue says BUT since you said you AND her are of the opinion you'll date around in the future, it sounds like she won't go Fatal Attraction on you. That's why I think it'll work out. But it is definitely a "special situation" as you say.
     
  6. 2000GT

    2000GT Active Member

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    My ex, now she would go fatal attraction on me for sure... this one is differant. She likes her independance and I dont feel trapped for some reason... I feel like I could end it whenever, the only awkward part would be her coming to get her clothes if we broke up.
     
  7. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    But what happens when you want to date around, before she is ready to give you up? Or what if emotions change. It just sounds like you are asking for trouble down the road. I couldnt imagine living with a female other than one I am in a serious relationship with. They really arent the easiest creatures to live with...as I am sure its not easy for a female when she first lives with a man. Everyone does things differently, thats why it takes a relationship to make it work.

    If you can pull it, it sounds good for you though, and taking into account financial matters, it could be really good for you both. Tough decision.
     
  8. 2000GT

    2000GT Active Member

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    Yeah, thats always true.. sometimes animosity builds up and shit hits the fan. I think I will talk to her about it more and see what happens, she isnt confrentational, but you never know I guess.
     
  9. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    how long were you friends prior to dating? i'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, but i'm pretty sure my answer is still going to be no.
     
  10. devildoll3584

    devildoll3584 New Member

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    i will tell you from my recent experience NOT TO DO IT! I moved in w/ my bf of over 4 months and I just finally moved out.. the whole relationship went to shit. and before we even moved in together i had stayed at his house all but 3 nights for 2 months. please take my advice. our relationship is terrible now and i know it is all because of living together. and we havent had sex in over a week. thats SOOO not normal for us, after having sex multiple times a day every day before we moved in together. the cuddling, kissing, everything just diminishes. or maybe thats just my relationship...
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2005
  11. Nsx9red

    Nsx9red New Member

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    i see no point in moving in together if you are not serious about this relationship :dunno:
     
  12. suyei

    suyei New Member

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    i agree!:bowdown:



     
  13. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    I don't think it can be a good thing, if she puts any money into the house payments she can make shit difficult for you later. Personally I'd keep things as they are currently.
     
  14. EG6

    EG6 OT Supporter

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    Every person will have a different opinion on this situation but personally unless you two are both in it for the long haul then I wouldn't recommend moving in together. I think when couples decide to move in together its their way of taking the next step in their relationship before marriage but everybody is different :)
     
  15. Transporter

    Transporter A Bathing Ape

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    Id say keep things as they are currently.
     
  16. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    :hsugh: sounds like your relationship. If you cant make it together, then I wouldnt try to carry on the relationship now anyways. But o well, you never like what I have to say anyways :rofl:
     
  17. 2000GT

    2000GT Active Member

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    not as long as I would think for you to change your answer :hsd:
     
  18. 2000GT

    2000GT Active Member

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    eeeeep!! :eek3:

    After reading all these posts and after a discussion me and her had last night, maybe things as is are better. I guess time will tell.
     
  19. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :rofl: that's what i thought...

    :wiggle: aahhhh... it's fun being right :mamoru: ;)
     
  20. calilynne

    calilynne New Member

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    Do not base your future on the fact that you spend each day with each other now. 2 months is not long enough at ALL to know if you are compatible. Statisticly, the rate of divorce is higher among couples who lived together than those who did not. The reason being is, people who live together do not grow as a union and thus, grow as seperate identies in a cohabitational situation. Why the rush? Chill out a little, 2 months is nothing compared to several years.

    From experience, I can say it is more difficult to divide your belongings than it is to simply break up if it doesnt work out. Especially if you already anticipate that it wont be your last realtionship.
     
  21. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    I have been with my girl friend for a year and a half and we are just now talking about getting a place in the future, like next summer. So I would say wait another 6 months then talk about it. Don't just move in because you think it would be cool and like a roomate type of thing because its not. Its a serious next step in a relationship.
     
  22. granto

    granto New Member

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    I dated my girlfriend a year before we moved in together. Everything has been great, no complaints.

    But I think in normal circumstances I would wait a little longer than I did. It was more of a financial thing for us :o
     
  23. Brando

    Brando wanna be :broly: and :bike: crew.

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    Depends how you feel about it really. I would say go for it and "save some money!" as that guy with the accent says :squint:
     
  24. 127.0.0.1

    127.0.0.1 New Member

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    If it is not about the financial differences at all (as long as you arent having trouble covering your mortgage). Then if you two break up, there isnt a ton to worry about. She will have her own things to bring to your place, and you will not have to worry about not being able to make payments.
     
  25. 2000GT

    2000GT Active Member

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    I guess this is the answer that makes most sense, but even when I look at the situation with this in mind it still doesnt seem completely like the wrong thing to do.
    She isnt bringing stuff other than clothes over, all her stuff is going in storage. She will have her hair stuff I guess and some of her protein powders and health stuff.
    Since she works in the same area with her mom (her mom lives in that area) should anything happen I think she would just move her stuff there.

    I am not having trouble with my mortgage, its just weird that she pays rent for somewhere she doesnt EVER seem to stay and I pay a mortgage for the place where we stay.

    She is going away this weekend for 5 days and it will give us a break and some time to think about things.
     

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