Movie Memorandums...

Discussion in 'Entertainment' started by JohnT, May 23, 2005.

  1. JohnT

    JohnT New Member

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    To: Lord Vader
    From: Admiral Piett
    Re: My Recent Promotion

    May the Force be with you, Lord Vader.

    For starters, I would like to thank you for my recent elevation from lowly captain to Admiral of the Emperors fleet. I promise that I will do everything I can to avoid the mistakes of my predecessor, Admiral Ozzel.

    Death to the Rebel Alliance!

    However, I must make you aware of a number of issues regarding my sudden promotion. Please be patient and understanding as you read the following list.

    1. While my rank has been increased, this information apparently has not been given to the Imperial Payroll Department. Please notify them of my promotion, and if I may be so bold, have them adjust my pay retroactively to the date I was promoted. I, myself, am perfectly satisfied to do this job while being paid a scale commiserate with what one should expect of a first-year Captain... unfortunately Lord Vader, my wife is not.

    2. My sudden promotion has apparently sparked an internecine debate that I am unable to quell. Many people of higher rank are refusing to obey my orders, declaring that you did not follow the established procedures set up by the Executive Committee. I am too busy chasing and fighting the rebel scum to worry about their petty concerns, and I was thinking a word or gesture from you, Lord Vader, would do much to bring order within the ranks.

    3. I am concerned by reports that indicate that you might have a familial relationship with the person or persons involved in the destruction of the last Super Space Station, the "Death Star" as the system techs have called it. While I am sure that this has the potential to be quite a touchy subject, in my new duties as Admiral I have no choice but to bring it to the Emperors attention.

    Thank you for taking your time in addressing my concerns. I'm sure that everything will be resolved shortly with you by my side, Lord Vader!

    Death to the Rebel Alliance!

    Most faithfully and always yours,

    Admiral Piett

    CC: The Emperor Palpatine, The Executive Committee, the Imperial Payroll Department.
     
  2. JohnT

    JohnT New Member

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    To: Admiral Piett
    From: Lord Vader
    Re: Re: My Recent Promotion

    Admiral, just for clarification:

    1. Do not expect more money before you bring me those rebels I want. Consider yourself lucky that I didn't ask any of the bounty hunters to do the job!

    2. If you are not able to bring order into your troops I may rethink your promotion. And pray to the force that I don't inform the Emperor about your weakness!

    3. This is the first and the last warning: the Emperor as well as myself, we both don't care about these little intrigues. This isn't the ****ing trade federation, just in case you don't know. So better be careful. There are more fleet officers in need of a command than you little son of a Hutt!!!

    Lord Vader

    (Courtesy of BeBro, at another forum)
     
  3. JohnT

    JohnT New Member

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    To: Lord Vader
    From: Admiral Piett
    Re: Your Clarification to my memo of last Thursday

    May the Force be with you, Lord Vader!

    Lord, I must take issue with your response to my memo. I am but a single man, unable to ... aararrrggggggghhhhhh!!!!!

    --------------------------

    To: Captain Mindu
    From: Lord Vader
    Re: Your New Appointment

    Admiral Piett has failed me for the last time. He was as clumsy as he was stupid. You are in command now, Admiral Mindu.
     
  4. JohnT

    JohnT New Member

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    To: The Jedi Council
    From: Mace Windu
    Re: My Wallet

    After leaving the council chambers Friday evening, I became very consternated when I found that I had misplaced my wallet. Given to me by an old friend, now passed away, I am quite fond of the wallet and the memories it brings of my earlier life.

    My efforts in searching the council chambers and my office have failed to locate it. My staff has been scurrying over the entire weekend - but to no avail. I have even tried to use the powers of the Force, but even they have failed me.

    If you locate my wallet, please notify me posthaste. It's easy to identify:

    It's the one that says Bad MotherF*cker.
     

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