Morality: They have a significant other

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Kreigore, Aug 6, 2007.

  1. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    To phrase a question:

    Someone shows interest in you (touching, flirting, kissing, etc.), but they have a significant other.

    Do you pursue or not?

    Does it depend on the situation?

    I'd like to hear what both men and women think.

    ________________________________

    My story (for reference, if needed):

    I had a party at my house about two weeks ago, everything was cool - everyone had a pretty good time. One of kid's I know brought along his sister. She is a pretty cool, laid back girl - but she didn't say too much the entire evening.

    A group of my friend's went up to their area to see a concert/show/whatever at a bar. This kid's sister and I were talking and she seemed to come out of her shell. She was touching me, grabbing me, etc.

    We went back to her brother's place and had some more to drink. Again, she was very touch feely, sitting on my lap, etc.

    We went out to the patio and I sat down on a couch and she sat down next to me and laid her head in my lap. Then I overheard her brother say, "Kreigore's a nice guy. Her boyfriend is a total jackass. I don't mind at all." I guess he was giving me the green light, but still - I was surprised. She had a boyfriend.

    After this, she told me that her boyfriend was an asshole. Still, I was bit taken back.

    Afterwards, my friend was giving me shit for not trying to hook up with her or pursue her. My simple answer was: She has a boyfriend.

    We hung out this past Friday (all of us again) and she was still sending me signals - holding my hand, touching.. I reciprocated, but was mindful that she has a boyfriend. I know I would be angry and upset if it were me.

    This girl could definitely do the same thing to me.

    However, my friend said not to expect much from her and to just go for it. :o:mamoru:

    Basically, my morals are preventing me from asking this girl on a date.

    Cliffs of my story: Girl likes me, I like her, she has a boyfriend, I don't want to pursue due to moral objection.
     
  2. nerd9

    nerd9 OT Supporter

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    every man has a different view on this, so do what feels right to you.
     
  3. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    If her boyfriend was an asshole, she would breakup with him.

    If she liked you, she would breakup with him and then date you.

    Alot of people dont let go of one branch til they have a firm grip on another.

    Share your time with someone who respects themselves and you.
     
  4. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Why would you ask her on a date? You don't date cheaters, you get what you want out of them and leave. Don't be niave and think that she wouldn't cheat on you if you 2 ended up together.
     
  5. timmay556

    timmay556 Jibilar

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    If she likes you enough she will break up with this other guy first and then date you. Imagen if she was lying to you about her BF being an arsehole? What if she is just using him to have a safe loving BF while looking around for something better?

    She could do the same to you ;)
     
  6. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    Some girls are super loyal and will never cheat. Most girls aren't. Among those girls:

    if the girl has a boyfriend and he is chode, she will go for the more skilled guy and leave her bf lying in the dust.

    if the girl has a boyfriend and he is the man, there is no such thing as a better guy.

    It has VERY little to do with the girl and almost EVERYTHING to do with how skilled the boyfriend vs. the other guy is.

    Girls are malleable to guys who they really like. If you are a rock star she will become groupie. If you are a hippie she will become vegan. Just like most guys would throw their gf's in a trash can if Heidi Klum came around and showed interest in him.

    Be the male Heidi Klum
     
  7. King Ralph

    King Ralph Active Member

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    I'm glad you realize that
     
  8. enfiniti

    enfiniti How firm thy friendship ... OHIO!

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    she will cheat on you if you date her. It isnt a thing that "he is an asshole so she is being touchy with you" type of deal. The girl is a flirt and if/when you two end up dating, she will do the exact same thing with a guy she gets a good vibe from and maybe, if you are unlucky, he wont have the same moral objections.

    Shit is a personality trait!

    dont do it
     
  9. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    I see it this way:

    If she is cheating on her current b/f with you, then probability is high that she will cheat on you as well when you start dating her.

    As for the moral issue.... I do not believe in hooking up with a girl in a LTR. If she is just "seeing" another guy it's not so bad. However, if she is in an LTR with a guy and throwing the "love" word around then I wouldn't want to get involved with that.
     
  10. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    how many guys would give the green light to their friend to go ahead and fuck their younger sisters? That's pretty fucked up to me. What age are you all?
     
  11. ymile

    ymile New Member

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    agreed.
     
  12. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    To answer a few questions:

    I'm 24, if that matters at all.

    I'm not going to do anything with this girl; I have already made up my mind. After all, she has a boyfriend and is essentially "cheating" - she was all over me.

    I have always had a straight-forward approach to girls who had a significant other - I didn't pursue them - AT ALL.

    The chance that she would cheat on me is great (if it would even pan out), but one of my friend's said, "Hey, just go for it. Who cares, blah blah.." That's not what I'm looking for and that's not who I am. I don't want a random hookup, as uncool as that may be. :mamoru:

    I was curious as to what others thought about the situation and what you would do in a similar situation.
     
  13. nuhbaboji

    nuhbaboji New Member

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    if she cheats on her bf, there is a good chance that she will do samething to you .
     

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