morality & the whole dating thing

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by blitzel3, May 5, 2009.

?

Do my morals hold me back from living life?

Poll closed Jun 4, 2009.
  1. Yes

    28 vote(s)
    63.6%
  2. No

    7 vote(s)
    15.9%
  3. It depends

    9 vote(s)
    20.5%
  1. blitzel3

    blitzel3 New Member

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    I'm a moral guy--I plan on waiting until I'm married until having sex--but what I'm wondering is why? If I had the chance to make out with a real bangin' chick, it seems that I'd pass it up just so I wouldn't feel unethical, but then later on I'd feel like shit complaining about how lonely I am. :wtc:

    Do you think my morals are too idealistic and prevent me from experiencing life, or is it a gift? :hsr:
     
  2. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    its not universally morally wrong to make out with someone. Do you mean you are a religious guy? pretty much everyone but the hardcore religious believe that physical pleasures are not wrong.
     
  3. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    I think most people here will tell you that you are preventing yourself from experiencing life and find your approach funny.

    personally am all about morality and moral people. But having sex outside of marriage would not make you an immoral person. If you do it just to bang the girl and tell your friends about it yes it might make you one. But if you have it in a relationship with someone you possibly love, I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I think it is good that you have some standards, I am tired of guys that just want to fuck whatever girl that let them, they are seriously a turn off. However, it is good to realize that it is not a black and white thing.a few days ago I was reading about this women who waited for years to have the right person to have sex with, when she thought she found him the guy cheated on her gave her herpes and left her!! you think she deserved more than that ha? But unfortunately this is life and will not always go in a way we want it too.

    then again it does not mean that you have to go out bang every girl and just enjoy it... I think find a happy medium for yourself. Personally, I am a very sexual person, still decided not to do it with anyone,anywhere and I just have sex in relationships... I want the same for my guy. I want to know that sex actually means something to him other than pounding away, that would make the relationship we have way more special to me and him.
     
  4. blitzel3

    blitzel3 New Member

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    Well I'm an atheist, but I used to be religious so I kinda still feel the same about my morals. I can't help but feel like it's wrong to make out with a girl unless I'm dating her lol. I think it's really that I feel uncomfortable and not that I think it's wrong.

    Since I want a meaningful relationship, I think I might accidentally attach myself to someone I merely hook up with. I guess it's a defense mechanism, but a part of me doesn't want to to care as much either.
     
  5. Insert

    Insert Active Member

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    My opinion may be a bit biased seeing as how I am not religious at all, and this is just assuming that your religion is what is holding you back, but I definitely feel your morals are holding you back from living and enjoying your life to it's fullest potential. There isn't anything wrong with enjoying physical contact with someone else. It's exciting, stimulating, and a completely natural thing.

    What if that person never comes along? Then are you never going to have sex?

    Let's say you do wait until you get married to have sex. You guys go at it for the first time and it isn't the greatest. Time passes and you both come to realize you aren't sexually compatible at all. What happens then? Do you live the rest of your life not enjoying a potentially wonderful aspect of a relationship?

    Personally, I could never see myself in a marriage where the sex wasn't what it could be. I'd prefer to find things like this out and be 100% sure before I get tied down.
     
  6. Insert

    Insert Active Member

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    Don't just hook up with a random girl then. Find someone you like, start dating them and taking it slow. When you both feel you are ready, progress to kissing and then eventually sex.

    If she can't accept the fact that you want to take it slow and assure there are emotional feelings involved then she isn't worth your time.
     
  7. blitzel3

    blitzel3 New Member

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    I don't think pre-marital sex is immoral, but I prefer waiting myself. I have no problems with other people not waiting and even if I slip up myself. I understand what your saying though. Sex truly is a special thing to me, which why I'm not referring to that but rather just making out or kissing a girl.

    I think I want to know that I kissed someone that meant something to me and that I meant something to them, but if I attach myself to some girl accidentally at a party or something, I might hurt myself unintentionally.

    I don't know I'm just a lonely guy who wants love.
    :sad2:
     
  8. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    this.
     
  9. blitzel3

    blitzel3 New Member

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    To be completely honest I never even thought about a sexual compatibility before lol. How crazy is that? I hear ya though, my reason agrees with you, but my emotions hold me back. At the same time, I don't think it is crucial to hunt for excitement, but rather not coward from it if it came up.

    (btw I'm not religious either)
     
  10. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Please explain to me what "moral" reasons you have for not having sex until marriage. I majored in philosophy with a focus on ethics and I can't think of a single moral argument to wait until marriage. It sounds to me like you're issue is just a combination of guilt for going against your Christian upbringing and fear of being intimate with someone.
     
  11. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    What are the reasons why you are waiting for sex?

    If the reasons you are waiting for sex and any acts of sexuallity are 'just' and important to you, then why ruin them? From my personal stand point, there is NO reason anyone who feels attracted or is emotionally attached to another person should put 'morals' in front of how they feel. It's silly.

    I guess it ties into my whole opinion about 'sex and marriage'. If im commited to someone, whether we are 'married' or not, what difference does it make? The ring on my/her finger does not in anyway show HOW MUCH I love her. The fact of the matter is, when/if you find someone you love/care for a lot, i'd say let it happen. Don't let this 'stigma' of what morals are in your brain dictate what you can and can't do. If you like/love someone, are commited, and truly are faithful, I dont see any reason why it would be 'morally irresponsible'
     
  12. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    id be interested in hearing a rationale on why kissing a girl (relationship or not) or having sex before marraige is "wrong" without any basis in silly old books
     
  13. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    that part of you that does care is called "human" we all desire companionship and physical affection.
     
  14. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    in4this as well
     
  15. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    I will say that what is morally right for you, doesn't mean its universal for everyone. I think sex is a natural thing for humans to do, and this waiting for marriage is dumb. What happens if you end up with a dude like insert said.

    And I think most people say its something special, until they loose their virginity in a usually very unglamorous way. And you obviously aren't really an atheist if you still hold all these values from religion.
     
  16. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I voted yes, but think you should replace every mention of the word "morals" in this thread and replace it with "delusions"
     
  17. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    I honestly don't think morals have anything to do with when someone chooses to have sex, that's not morals... that's religious brain washing and it makes absolutely NO sense.
     
  18. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    Not having sex until you're married is like buying a car without ever taking a test drive. I was raised in the church and the grandson of a minister so I'm willing to bet I have the same "moral' upbringing you do.


    No sex before marriage is like not eating pork. At one time it made sense but now we have condoms and other forms of BC.
     
  19. red

    red New Member

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    Why is it immoral to have sex before marriage, exactly?
     
  20. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    same reason it used to be a bad idea to eat pork
     
  21. red

    red New Member

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    Why is it a bad idea to eat pork?
     
  22. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    Pork used to be hard to be kept without getting some kind of disease, but with all the modern inventions and technology its no longer an issue.
     
  23. red

    red New Member

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    That's not really true. It's safe as long as you cook it - like any meat.
     
  24. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    Hey, I didn't make this up, its just what was thought. Thank god we have progressed from that eh? (even though most people still blindly follow religion)
     
  25. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    :ugh:

    Are you serious dude? Back around the time the Bible was written people got sick all the time for eating pork because they didn't know that cooking it properly killed everything.

    Same applies to sex. They didn't know exactly why bitches was getting pregnant but they knew it had something to do with putting the penis inside the vagina.
     

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