SRS mom is materialistic and only cares about status..

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by ridah626, Dec 9, 2009.

  1. ridah626

    ridah626 OT Supporter

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    hi all. well here is a little background story on what is going on and i would appreciate some ways to solve this constructively. my family which is my mom dad and myself have just bought a house which is about 1.2 million dollars. before we moved, my dad asked my mom how much she made etc and she told him "X" amount. after 2 weeks when we moved to the house all of a sudden my mom says that she actually makes "Y" much a month which is basically half of what she said before. now this is a shocker to my dad and we were forced to sell the house which we are in the process of doing. my dad makes enough to pay for the house payments and everything but its just that my mom would pay for everything else that involved the house but it turns out she does not make as much as she said she did.

    we fast forward to today and basically its a whole big fucking mess. we found a buyer for the house and we are cutting our losses by selling it cheaper and now we are looking for a house in the neighborhood of 600k. my mom is giving my dad alot of shit because first she would say shes okay with that but then when we look at houses around for that price range, shes just totally blowing it off saying its too old, the area is not good, it is too far from her work, etc. basically shes expecting to buy some sort of 800k+ style home for 600k. now let me remind you guys that she is the reason why we are in this situation because they both knew that i quit work because i was stomping down on school work because i just transferred and now ive been looking for a job to help out with payments for the past half year. my mom is totally disregarding every option that me and my dad are throwing at her just so that we can actually have a roof over our heads when this current house is sold. my dad has gotten into many arguments with her and basically they were both threatening each other with divorce so its pretty bad.

    i honestly think that shes trying to gain some sort of status with her side of the family buy buying this house which is why she wanted it in the first place and lied to my dad about how much she made. everything to her is material items. i am going to seriously confront her tonight but i dont want to make things worse for my dad as they already are because if i say something wrong she will probably just take it out on my dad cause he told me these things. my moms side of the family is all sketch they are so materialistic that they wanted my mom to divorce my dad before because he didnt make enough. now that we have a new house they are all like asking us if we wanna do this or that. honestly i dont like them and i never will. its sad enough that im related to people like that.

    so OT how do i go about handling this. i dont really know how to shorten it to cliffs but any advice would help out alot. thanks.
     
  2. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    How did your father not know? They would have had to fill out loan papers... Did they not list her income?

    Anyway, sounds like your mom is being douchey, but you're the kid and should probably stay out of it.
     
  3. ridah626

    ridah626 OT Supporter

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    well thats what i was wondering. my mom basically lied to my dad saying she was making twice as much as she actually was making. all i know is that yeah our loan got accepted thru what they put on the paper but i do not know the actual amount. my dad just told me that he found out 2 weeks after we got the house.

    yeah i agree that she does but if she keeps wanting it her way our family is going to end up with no home at all. my dad basically at this point feels like he has no option besides listening to her and i wanted to let my mom realize that what shes doing is going to get us no where.
     
  4. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    why?
     
  5. ridah626

    ridah626 OT Supporter

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    because when he tries to bring up an option she just shuts it down automatically. she doenst listen until its something that she wants to hear and when she doesnt like it she just starts bitching and then they get into arguments. it sucks for my dad because he pays for it yet he has no say because my mom will not budge or even compromise.
     
  6. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    With her salary, or lack of it, how does she have any say?
     
  7. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    wtf ? how do you not know how much your wife makes. do they have seperate accounts
     
  8. ridah626

    ridah626 OT Supporter

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    she basically just bosses my dad around. ive told him many times to just stand up to her but he just insists that it would make it worse.

    basically my dad pays for everything like bills and etc. she lied to him about how much she makes. my mom owns her own place so my dad takes my moms word for it.
     
  9. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    You should stay out of it and your dad needs to grow a pair, I have separate accounts with my wife too but we both know how much each other makes that just floors me that your dad had no idea how much she makes :ugh: Sadly your dad will eventually realize this and leave her then she'll take half his money.
     
  10. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    depending on the state, if she owns her own business, he'll also take half of hers.
     
  11. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    stay out of their business, and move out ASAP.
     
  12. 1.8t

    1.8t Member

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    Sounds like a great marriage. Tell your dad to be a man and put your bitch of a mom in her place. If she doesn't like it, then a divorce would be a blessing from the picture you have painted thus far.
     
  13. Eurostaunch

    Eurostaunch New Member

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    Talk your father into getting a divorce, then go live with him. Never speak to your mother again. I know it's harsh but it's just not worth it the way it is now. You both need to cut your losses. Hopefully she won't get to steal half of your dad's stuff, which she obviously doesn't deserve. I recommend describing her rediculous behavior to the lawyers/judge during the divorce proceedings to try and mitigate/prevent this from happening.

    +1 to your dad needing to grow a pair, wow.
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2009
  14. 350GT

    350GT New Member

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    Your father hasn't set any boundaries in the relationship, if you can call it a relationship. Dad needs to grow a pair.
     
  15. PcH

    PcH Guest

    Like others have said, I don't understand how your dad doesn't know how much his own wife makes.
     
  16. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    he said she owns her own business, so maybe that's what she made last year and lied about making it again this year........ but still, why would she lie if she didn't value money and status more than her marriage? she had to know he'd find out eventually, and since they were buying a $1.2M house and were DEPENDING on her money to make ends meet, she had to know this coudln't end well.
     
  17. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    That would be where she just don't give a shit.
     
  18. oakback

    oakback New Member

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    Your parents obviously has some serious communication issues. Not your business, stay out of it. If they ask you for help, help. If they want to bitch to you about your other parent, refuse to listen, walk away, whatever. If you have money of your own, and it's truly yours, keep it out of their reach.
     
  19. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    He lacks a manly backbone?
     
  20. ridah626

    ridah626 OT Supporter

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    well i talked my mom into looking at other options for the house because we NEED one asap or we wont be living anywhere and my dad said thanks for talking to her. well as of right now everything seems better now. my mom has toned it down after i talked to her and basically made her realize a little bit that we dont have much options right now.

    yeah that is true my dad basically just took her word for it because he wouldnt think she would lie about it. a reason why she lied is because i guess for my whole parents marriage, her family has always have not approved of my dad because back then he didnt make much. i have a feeling that now she just wants all these nice things JUST STRICTLY to pride herself on nice things. she lied to her family and said work was too far and she lied to me as well. but in reality we couldnt afford to do anything if we were to keep the house. do you remember my previous thread on ontopic? the one with the new house getting sued.
     
  21. ridah626

    ridah626 OT Supporter

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    and i do agree that my dad needs to get a backbone on this one. its kind of saddening to see him get walked over by my mom. i mean my mom is a great mom dont get me wrong me and her have a great relationship but she seems to get out of line way more often than before now. my dad told me that if they divorced then she demanded half his income and etc. it kinda really shocks me that my mom would be this type of person tho. in 21 years i have never seen this side of her and all of a sudden its all there.

    atm i dont have enough money to move out. i have considered that option but its out the window. i would just be in more trouble than i am here so im going to stick this one out.
     

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