mixed signals!

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by uneek, Mar 14, 2006.

  1. uneek

    uneek OT Supporter

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    I always seem to pick up mixed signals, so I don't know if it's just my perception, if I'm causing them by the way I act, or what, I think I may just be bad at reading people?

    My previous GF old me that she didn't know if our first date was a date or what... so I think I must be partly to blame.

    My present situation, this girl just out of the blue started chatting me up, we hadn't exchanged barely a hi until a few days ago. She invited me out w/ her friends but I was working so I declined, she got all sheepish and was like 'good excuse', so I figured there was some interest from her end. I told her some other time, her response was yeah maybe we can do something this week, so I told her I would talk with her the next day when I knew what I was doing. So next day I asked what her plans were and she started rattling off a list of everything she was doing - so at that point I'm thinking not worth the time, so I say 'ah you're busy' and she cuts me off and is like no, I just have to think about what I'm doing, she invites me to hang w/ her friends at work later in the week, but I've got plans then so I offer to give her my #, thinking if she's interestd she will call me at some point, she cuts me off and is like no, let me give you mine. So a few days later (today) I call her and ask if she has plans such and such a time, she says she's doing stuff that day but I can come hang out w/ her friends that night (again w/ the friends thing).

    So I'm confused why I am picking up mixed signals. I think that I probably am giving them out myself? I think at this point she isnt interested or she wouldn't have invited me out w/ her friends 3 times now, but I know some people prefer that kind of arrangement when meeting someone new. I would like to know how I could better have gauged the direction things were going, and how I can gauge how things are going in the future. As it stands I plan on calling her a few days from now when I get off work and asking her to meet up for dinner, and if she says no, then suggesting that maybe it would be better if she gives me a call when she isn't so busy so we can do something together. I did this before and she gave me her # instead which I really don't understand b/c if she is not interested, then why would she jump out like that? Also, is there maybe a better way of turning down an invite to come hang out w/ her friends and directing things to more of a one on one ? I havn't actually said 'no I'm not interested in hanging out with your friends, but if you would like to spend some time with me I would like that'. Maybe this should have been said from the git go, but how can I gauge if this is a 'friend' thing or if she just doesn't feel compfortable one on one?
     
  2. Achmiel

    Achmiel Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshi

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  3. uneek

    uneek OT Supporter

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    I read that thread and I think it helped a bit, but I think I could also benefit from hearing how to salvage the situation I'm in now.

    I think I'm going to flat out tell her if she declines dinner that 'fair enough, but I think it would be nice just the two of us. If you like, I'm done with class at 8:30 tomorrow'

    I don't know if this is a good way to salvage the situation or what?
     
  4. 98formyws6

    98formyws6 New Member

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    imo she seems interested...maybe gets tickets for a concert/game/etc and invite her

    funny you bring that thread up since i started it! not to hijack but my situation didn't get better either, i asked the broad to hang out and she seems so 'busy' and she said 'we'll plan something out' i think i'm gonna jump ship w/ this one...but your situation def has a chance, i say go for the kill
     
  5. uneek

    uneek OT Supporter

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    See I thought that at the beginning but then w/ our schedules being crazy I think my indecision hurt things a lot.... I really wanted to sort of be nonchalont about it but obviously it didn't work, but I am glad you have a vote of confidence!
     
  6. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    Stamp a foot when you ask her to do things make it very obvious of a time, place, and what it is your doing.

    "Lets hang out tommorow" - BAD!!
    "Hey lets go for coffe tommorow at 4 pm downtown that cool?" - GOOD!!

    The further in the relationship the more you can lean towards "We're gonna hang out tommorow" and not plan anything.

    Guys dominate the relationship so be that guy. I'm not saying you have to be rude, be mean or anything but realize your expected to make most of the decisions.

    Also, if she says she's busy don't be like "Oh...." and act all sad.
    Imply you have other things to do anyways... like "Ok, well give me a call I'll probably be hanging out with XXX doing XXX or whatever".

    Play it careful but don't act so easy and desperate, play the chase game make yourself something worth having in her life.
     

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