SRS miss my ex... what to do?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by killer4605, Aug 28, 2006.

  1. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    i keep getting the urge to call her. i know nothing good will come of it which is why i stop myself but i miss her so damn much i don't know what to do.

    i try to keep myself busy with school, meeting new people, and joining clubs/organizations but seriously every time i get home the loneliness just sets in. how do i deal with this shit?

    i don't want to crack and call my ex. fuck her. she's treated me like shit. i don't know why i still love her after all this or why i still want her in my life. i can't explain it except by saying that i was miserable before her and when she came into my life everything was uplifted and ecstatic.. yeah, i know i shouldn't rely on someone else to make me happy, but what do you do when you can't find something that makes you happy on your own?
     
  2. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    Don't go home? I had a bad break up, went to my friend's house for 3 nights, every night we did something, mostly partying, but also just going out and doing something. When things came to a close, I just crashed at his place. By the end of the 3 night weekend, my ex-gf didn't bother me nearly as much and I moved on.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    You know just keep on loving her forever, but realise that your relationship has come to a dead end road is the most important thing. Turning your car around and head back for the highway, and replacing your ex-gf with a new gf is the only viable thing to do(once your ready for it that is).
     
  4. pigeon

    pigeon wasabi

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    you give it time. how long have y'all been broken up? be patient, the feelings pass. you do get over it. you find things that make you happy. you look for things that make you happy. look for places in your area - art museums, parks, go hiking, biking, see a movie, volunteer - find things that take your mind off being sad and missing your ex. remind yourself *why* it's over. write it down if you have to, and read it when you miss her.
    but how long has it been?
     
  5. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    we've been broken up for over 3 months... but only 2 weeks ago did i stop seeing / talking to her all the time... and last week i cut all contact.

    we dated for 15 months... made a bunch of threads about her here in the asylum. it's over because she wants to date other people and stay best friends with me. i'm not doing that shit.
     
  6. fhfn2000

    fhfn2000 New Member

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    sorry to hear. I've recently broke up with my girl, and i can identify with a lot of the things you've said.

    she wants to stay friends, which is great, cause i still have fun whenever I'm with her. but whenever i see her, i miss the intimacy we used to share. i think it's a good idea that you've totally cut yourself off from her.

    have fun with your friends to distract yourself, and if you can find someone who is understanding, talk about it. luckily, a friend of mine has gone through a nearly identical situation as mine, and i'm glad we've been able to talk to each other and support each other.

    good luck
     
  7. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    Once in awhile I still have flashbacks to exes... you know, remembering the "good times". Suddenly I get the urge to call them.

    A quick fix is usually to remember why things went sour. I think back to a girl I was dating before I moved to Missouri, who decided to start fooling around with some asshole from work a few weeks before I left.

    Seriously dude, fuck 'em. Look forward to the rest of your glorious life, which they won't get to be a part of.
     
  8. Los

    Los Active Member

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    Recently going through this, I can tell you that its better to cut it off completely than to reminisce and still say the "I love yous". Do what you're doing now. Don't call her, but instead, replace her love with the things that you love. For instance, I've been playing 360, writing, and reading more.

    Yeah it sucks, I've been with my ex for a year and a half. We almost had a kid together (though there is another bun in the oven pending). But you have to move on. You have to live your life as I'm sure she's living hers. Best of luck.
     
  9. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    what should i do if she calls me and wants to hang out? lucky for me she hasn't called more than once or twice in the last week or so but those calls were always kept short (under 30 seconds) and every time she asked to do something i was busy with something else
     
  10. emilyk23

    emilyk23 New Member

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    going thru the same crap

    my ex is a fucking asshole loser- still, i'm having those "i really miss what we had" moments. i.e. sex, companionship, etc...
    i feel your pain..but it didn't work out for whatever reason and the best thing to do is just move on :coold:
     
  11. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    what happened with you and your ex?
     
  12. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    Either of these:
    1. Do not answer the phone. Remember, you want to try and cease contact completely so you're not anchored down with missing her and having no way to move on.

    2. Tell her you are busy with something else, even if you're not.
     
  13. OhFourTwoThree

    OhFourTwoThree New Member

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    I understand how you feel. I went through the exact same thing when my ex and I broke up. He was my best friend so it was hard. I missed him, felt the need to call him, etc but as hard as it was, I cut him out of my life. He called me a few weeks after we broke up, even called my sister and asked about me. He still wanted to be friends but I knew we could never be friends. I still had feelings for him and keeping contact would only make it harder for me to get over him. It may take you a long time to get over her but trust me,you won't if you call her and keep in touch. It actually took me two or three years to stop thinking about him...I still wonder how he's doing sometimes but that is all. I don't miss him the way that I used. Time will help...you just have to realize that the breakup was for the better and there's something better out there for you.
     
  14. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    goddamn maybe i shouldn't have made this thread... i haven't been able to stop thinking about her since
     
  15. Los

    Los Active Member

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    Dude, stay busy and if she calls, be like "Busy".

    She'll get the clue.
     
  16. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    there are just some people who leave a lasting impression on you and you just can't shake them. i've had one or two of those in my lifetime.

    but you have to realize that while you may feel that way, they may not. and it may hurt to let things go, but you have to. for your own sanity. you don't have to stop loving them, but like Dark said, you need to move on. and with time, you'll find its easier to forget about them.
     
  17. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    dont get all mad at yourself or start attacking yourself. Making this thread is perfectly fine. You can't just sleep one day and wake up the other forgetting someone that was in your day for years. Calm down man. This thread is you realizing you having a problem. What you do with it is your own damn choice. Just start some new hobbies. For me I took on lifting and I haven't stopped since. Not sure why, but I just felt frustereated and I could take it out on weights which actually benifit my personal appearance and my insecurity. Find something that you can do that will benefit you more than she could. Hopefully that makes sense and godspeed:hsd:
     
  18. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    i already started lifting and i joined a boxing / jiu jitsu gym :hsd:

    i don't know what's wrong with me... last week i was getting through things fine with the mindset of "fuck that bitch, if she doesn't want to be with me she can go fuck herself..."

    now all of a sudden i'm like "what the fuck... you've known this girl for over 5 years and dated for 15 months... now you can't even talk to her or see her and she fucking lives across the street?" i guess it doesn't help that i don't have any good friends where i am (just transferred here) and my ex is the only person i know very well. i mean i make new friends in class and in the boxing gym but you guys know there's a big difference between knowing someone's name and talking to them in class and having a friend you hang out with outside of work/class.

    i just feel so down and depressed this week it is pathetic. thank god i have an event tomorrow from 6-10 and weds i'm going back home to see my family and get some computer parts. when i get back to my place i always end up smoking to keep my mind off of things... but then i feel bad because i start thinking that i smoke too much. jesus christ it's a never ending circle.

    i talked to one of my female friends from highschool... she said after i started dating that girl i got soft.... she's right :hs:. i mean i was never happy before i dated this girl but i was content being on my own and not talking to people. i didn't feel like i needed that social connection. now i feel like that is a big part of me and it is missing.
     
  19. iota

    iota New Member

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    I've been through a similar situation before, and I am sure everyone else has as well. This is totally normal for you to go through all these psychological stages after a breakup. I know you probably heard this from everyone, but it's just going to take time. It's good that you are taking up sports and all that other stuff. Just keep yourself busy and try to avoid all contact with her. The sooner you accept the fact that it isn't going to work, the sooner you can move on with your life.
     
  20. pigeon

    pigeon wasabi

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    you were together for a long time, and it's not been that long. it's normal to be depressed about losing someone so close to you, especially when you're new to an area. don't put so much pressure on yourself - no need to feel guilty about feeling bad and smoking. right now you just need to give yourself some time to get over this and heal. do not contact her for any reason and don't answer her calls. it will just make it worse.

    i know this might sound like bullshit, but i was there a couple of years ago. it sucks, but you do get over it. just give it time.
     
  21. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    my ex imed me today... i was an idiot and talked.

    she talked about how she was busy and shit and couldn't hang out (or call apparently) and i told her it was ok and that i didn't care

    she went crazy and started crying about how i didn't care about us being friends and all this shit.... so she tells me she felt like shit. i told her when do you feel like shit? she said, when i talk to you. so just said ok well there you go, you've felt great this week since you didn't talk to me. then she tells me to stop and that she has to go.

    so i'm like ok whatever, and i go smoke up. 2 minutes later she calls me... she's downstairs... FUCK. so i go down and ask her what's up... and she says she doesn't know. so then she starts crying so i hug her and ask her if she wants to go up. she says no but doesn't leave so i say come on you walked all this way just come up for a sec.

    so we go up and she cries about how she was stupid to think it would work and how she doesn't know what she wants and blah blah blah. i swear i felt like telling her to stfu. so anyways, she said she was sorry she bothered me and left.

    and all this was because she asked me if i wanted to hang out and i told her just call me and ask (because god forbid i don't want to hang out with her ass)
     
  22. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    and yes i went down with the hopes of getting back together but when she left i didn't feel depressed or even care.
     
  23. TheGetUpkid

    TheGetUpkid New Member

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    Sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. She doesnt want to be together with you as in boyfriend and girlfriend but she wants to keep you as a friend.

    Im finding out the hard way that trying to be friends with somone you were soo emotinally attached with is difficult, especially when not enough time has passed for the both people to move on.
     
  24. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    oh well she was being a stupid bitch on aim and i wasnt going to play her mind games. i made it clear that i didn't give a shit if we stop talking
     
  25. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    You need to make YOURSELF happy period, this is why she's your (EX)... and if you go back you will be failing yourself, you will be taking twos teps backwards, you need to love yourself, most truthfuly and honestly, become whole, find your joy and passion :) see the sunshine.
     

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