Met an amazing woman Few issues however... worth pursuing?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by billn1983, Feb 20, 2008.

  1. billn1983

    billn1983 New Member

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    I met an amazing girl through my work. I do medical device sales and she does sales for a brochure company that was trying to gain our business. She is/was (leave today) in town from Michigan and she travels all over the US doing this during the weeks.

    As our meeting ended about work I told her that while she was in town I would like to take her out and show her the city while she was here. She agreed and told me to text message her cell phone that afternoon and she would get back to me when she was done with her appointments. I did just that and we talked back and forth all that same evening. This was a Thursday and she was headed back to MI the next day and would be back in my town this week.

    Monday night of this week I took her to a very nice place down in the country club plaza district of Kansas City. We had an amazing time and talked for around 4hrs or so through dinner and a few glasses of wine. I didn't try anything fresh and I just dropped her back off at her hotel and before she got out she gave me a hug and told me thank you etc...

    When I got home I sent her a message (do people not talk on the phone anymore? Guess not) and told her that the conversation we had was the best ive had in quite some time and that I could tell she was an amazing person that I would like to get to know better. She replied with "oh your sweet, I had a good time myself" or something to that nature.

    Tuesday I met her for lunch and we just chit chat and yesterday evening she was going out with her friends. I was already out with my friends and asked if she wanted to meet for a drink later in the evening, and she said that she was pretty tired and had to get up early the next day for her appointments before she flew back to Detroit.

    Through small talk and other messages she had used the term "Buddy" like "sorry buddy" or "see you tomorrow, buddy" or whatever.. which was kind of a "entering friendzone" type thing to me.. but whatever.

    My question is.. Is this worth pursuing? I've never been one for long distance relationships, but I'm not opposed to giving it a shot. She lives in Detroit and I'm in Kansas City MO. Do the buddy comments already throw me in the land of the friend zone? (my first thought was yes, but would like other opinions) I know her last relationship was from Detroit to Phoenix and she ended up finding out the dude was cheating on her or so she said. She had met this gentleman through her previous job. I have had no contact with her so far today. She flys out at 6pm.

    Cliffnote:
    Met amazing woman, she lives in MI and I live in MO. May already be in the "Friends only" zone with her. Wondering if pursuing a LD relationship is worth it, or if I should save time and face and just let this one go on continuing to be friends.. or ?
     
  2. mavfan1

    mavfan1 Active Member

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    you don't like friends? at worst you have a new friend
     
  3. kelali

    kelali OT Supporter

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    You're probably friend zoned. Ignore her a bit and see if her attitude changes.
     
  4. fray

    fray New Member

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    my friend and his girlfriend call each other "buddy" ... of course, they're kinda weird and I hope you're not like them (even though they're good people)
     
  5. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Wow I bet if you announced that it was a date from the getgo, or actually tried to kiss her in the beginning (sounds like you were scared to kiss her but tried to pass it off as 'not being fresh'), you'd already have your answer.

    It would be an LDR anyway, I would just drop it.
     
  6. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    wow guys, classic text book example of how to friend zone yourself.

    rofl. take good notes.
     
  7. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    It sounds like you're friend zoned but not because of the buddy comments. I know a chick who calls everyone buddy and while I didn't date her we did make out a few times..

    I think she probably was happy to have met someone while she was out traveling. It doesn't sound like there was a lot of flirting or romancing going on -- just good conversation.
     
  8. toroweedeater1

    toroweedeater1 New Member

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    .
     
  9. 2angelmd

    2angelmd New Member

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    :ugh2:

    Learn from this one.

    OP -if you shift hard core into friend zone it may throw her off and make her shift out of the friend zone with you, if she's already there. If you're going to do that though do it hard and do it quickly. Stuff like "I'm so glad we've been able to become friends, I needed a good woman in my life that I don't have to worry about being attracted to." Or "You're the perfect platonic friend, now I can come to you for advice about the other women I'm dating.'

    Those are just examples but they could stir up the pot a bit and prevent friend zone forever syndrome. But you'll have to gauge her response and start flirting (completly non serious) if she shows she actually might be interested in more than friend zone with you.
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2008
  10. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    You are the worst kind of friendzoned.

    You are the friendzoned where she KNOWS you want her and like her so she uses obvious friend terms with you to try and give you the hint that she doesn't like you. :rofl:

    That is the worst. In affect, she KNOWS you like her before you've actually gotten the balls to tell her how you feel.

    in other words, there is nothing to pursue here, unless you enjoy heartache, longing, and rejection.

    Forget about her.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    She's from Michigan. It's probably a mixture of her not wanting anything to do with an LDR and just liking you as a friend. Don't pursue as a romantic interest...it's not worth it.
     
  12. billn1983

    billn1983 New Member

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    Good call. I've had no contact to or from with her today. Prob keep it friendly level. Thanks for advice. Next time I'll Know.

    BilLN
     
  13. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    This is one of those issues where, you are either 100% sure you will cut off contact or you will be her puppy dog.

    There's almost never no in between.

    Saying things like "probably" just means that you aren't quite done getting emotionally beaten yet.
     
  14. GRocks10

    GRocks10 New Member

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    You've been friendzoned. Don't waste your time pursuing anything because there is nothing to pursue.... sorry to be so brutally honest.

    A woman that is interested wouldn't call you her buddy here and there and would MAKE the MOST of her time especially if she lives in another state and is down here for business.

    There was probably not enough chemistry.. don't waste your time getting in touch with her for a few days and see if she calls you back and shows more interest.. other than that, I wouldn't put the whole red carpet thinking you potential here because it really seems like just a friendship right now. The least she can do is let you know she made it safe.. if that doesn't happen without you having to message or call her than I wouldn't waste my time at all getting in touch again even as a FRIEND.. well, goodluck either way.
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2008
  15. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    I think beer needs to put this thread in the archives and the "read first" thread so that people finally have a reference point.

    not to be mean to original poster.
     
  16. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    i call many people buddy :dunno:

    But it sounds like you're in the 'zone..
     
  17. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    :werd:

    when a woman meets a man she is interested in, I imagine this is exactly the sort of behavior she is hoping he doesn't exhibit

    Sort of a "Wow he's cute and funny and my type - I really hope he doesn't fuck it up like all the others!"

    Then he fucks it up like all the others.

    I've been there so I can sympathize.
     
  18. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    What specifically is amazing about her (other than her physical appearance)?

    There's some material to playfully "bust her balls" with.

    What did you accomplish? What is your goal?

    What is your desired outcome?

    In hindsight, would you rather have attempted to be sexual with her and have both a chance of success and a chance of rejection, or would you rather remain ASEXUAL towards her and have zero chance of every getting sexual with her?

    Why do men think women are going to answer this call in this situation? She knew what you were going to say, she knew it was going to be creepy and awkward, and she wanted to avoid experiencing it firsthand.

    I know this because I've experienced this personally and I've witnessed it numerous times.

    Everything you do sends a message. What message does this phone call send to her? Your intentions are always separate from the message she receives.

    And there's the creepy, awkward message. Women hate this (although they will soon be here telling me I'm wrong about this). This is an attraction killer.

    Instant death to any attraction (if any), she previously felt for you.

    Once again, your intentions here are irrelevant to how she perceives your message.

    She meets her girlfriends for lunch and chit chats with them. Do you want to be her girlfriend or do you want to fuck her?

    She has low interest. Highly interested women don't have to be up early next day and even if they do they will just stay up late and deal with the consequences in the morning.

    When we interpret her message, we consider that women do not generally communicate as directly as men. You may be accustomed to men looking in you in the eye and telling you "yes" or "no" in the business world.

    Women will generally communicate much less directly, especially in dating and relationships. I'm sure she communicates directly in the business world, but its not gonna happen that way in dating.

    Her referring to you as "buddy" (in this instance) is the female equivalent of you telling her directly "I only like you as a friend and I don't want to date you."

    Its the exact same thing.

    This is actually pretty direct, many women would have hemmed and hawwed because they wanted to spare your feelings.

    She's told you very clearly while avoiding a direct confrontation.

    Sure, if you want to be her girlfriend. If you want fuck, you are going to have to start over with another woman.

    You could possibly ignore her and blow her off enough over a long enough period of time to get another shot, but I wouldn't count on it. Its like Dumb and Dumber - "So you're telling me there's a chance!"

    Relationship? You just met this woman.

    How can you possibly know if she is the right woman to be in a relationship with? You haven't gathered enough data yet.

    Relationship? What's your rush here? Why not take it slow? Maybe kiss her first then think about that later.


    Could you be getting ahead of yourself here?

    Without question. 100%.

    Is it a good idea to talk about her and your past relationships this early on (or ever, unless unavoidable)?
     

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