Met a girl over the internet..

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Darrin, Jun 17, 2005.

  1. Darrin

    Darrin Eat. Sleep. Arrest People.

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    *lose all stereotypes before reading*


    Ok :)


    About 2 months ago i met a girl over the internet whilst playing a computer game (can you beleive it?) and we started chatting and stuff. At the time i was unhappy with my girlfriend and we were on the verge of splitting up (in my eyes) and i'd find myself missing this girl when i'd goto bed. I would wake up and wonder when she'd come online, even when out with my girlfriend at the time i'd think about her, and really this is the first time something like this had ever happened to me. I thought i was a bit of a weirdo for a) Liking someone over the internet (i used to chat to all sorts of people but never became attracted to any of them in any way whatsoever) b) thinking that i was turning into some e-stalker. As i kept my feelings to myself it became more and more apparent the more we spoke that she felt the same way, me being a pussy i had said nothing until one day she came out with it all and i was pretty happy (first off that i wasnt a freak for feeling this way and secondly because she felt the same). She is everything i could have dreamed of in a girl and is pretty much a female equivalent of me. We enjoy the same things (were both pc geeks) and enjoy clubbing/same type of music aswell as enjoying the same type of humor. Anyways after about a month of feeling this way i finally decided to break up with my girlfriend and go and see this girl i had been talking to over the internet. The big catch here is the fact she lives 3400 miles away from me (im in the UK she's in the US). This wasnt a problem for me as i had always loved the US and i got to see/meet her at the same time. Turns out we hit it off big time and pretty much end up as much as a couple as you possibly could, and at the airport it all ended in tears. I cried, she cried, we both didnt want to leave each other, this was a couple of week ago. She is coming to see me in 2 weeks time and im so excited, we've spoken every day since (like we used to before anyhow) and i know that were gonna have a great time and enjoy each others company and ofc have massive amounts of sex. Im sure after the week it'll all be tears again as she heads back to the US.

    My Dilemma:

    I've always wanted to move to the USA, and since meeting this girl its given me a huge excuse to go and do so, i could move to study and get to be with her at the same time (she's said if i do move then we would ofc become a couple). The problem is this could happen in either 3 months or 8 months. Now i know she doesnt really want to wait 8 months and i had explained to her that if she really does love me, she'd wait any amount of time for me. Am i being unfair? Yet at the same time should i ask her to wait 8months for me? She's said she has no intentions of meeting anyone else (even tho when she met me she had no intentions of meeting anyone) but if i dont get to america for another 8 months and what we had fizzles out, of course i'll be gutted but nothing will change the fact i want to move.

    We talked about me coming in perhaps 8 months, she wasnt too optmistic but i explained that basing on whatever she wa sbasing her thoughts on after knowing me for 2 months and meeting for just 1 week in real life probably isnt the best bet, so i she suggested that perhaps we just keep flying to each other throughout the time (maybe once for a long time [1 month+] to see what it'd be like actually being an item).

    I have spoken to some people who were in the same situation as me (i have a friend who's boyfriend lives 500 miles away yet they still speak to each other every day and only see each other once a month or so and have been together for 4yrs)

    What do you guys think i should do? I want to move, but 60% of the reason i want to go is because of her, which may not be there is 8months, is she being unfair? am i being unfair?
     
  2. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

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    How old are you guys?
     
  3. Darrin

    Darrin Eat. Sleep. Arrest People.

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    im 19 she's 20
     
  4. RockChick

    RockChick New Member

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    ive met my bf on the internet (csi chat :p)... hes (21) canadian, im (20)german... now im in BC every 1/2/3 months... :big grin:. waiting for december so i can apply for a program (then i can stay here in BC for 12 months and work and stuff).

    long distance stuff is always complicated and you have to be willing to wait, otherwise it doesnt work at all. its hard and there will be alot of times when you think "god, fuck it" and also there will be times of "time outs" and even "break ups" (even for silly reasons... been there, done that) but it can work.
    it works when you really have feelings for each other and when you are willing to give up certain things (for example your life in uk) but what you need most is trust and patience. cos, unless you are a millionaire, it takes some time till you can see each other (again) and then its usually only for a certain time etc.

    think about it... make sure that you do things not only for her... make sure youre not moving somewhere just cos of a girl you met online cos all in all she can be totally different in real life. see, i dont mind giving up my life in germany and move here whenever i can cos i hate my home country with a passion and emigrating was my dream since i was 14. so, basically i am living my dream whenever im in BC. besides my man is (most of the time :p) a really cute and nice guy... different from the person i met online but not THAT different... different in a good way... know what i mean.

    thats all i can think of atm.
     
  5. Darrin

    Darrin Eat. Sleep. Arrest People.

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    thanks for your comments rock, is there any way i can contact you perhaps via some IM that you could PM me? i'd really like to ask some questions and ask about your difficulties and stuff. If not i'll keep it all here hehe.

    I've always dreamed of leaving the UK also, and really want to go to the US, unfortunately finding $40,000 to go study isnt an easy task hehe. I really cannot wait for her to come her though in 2 weeks! :)
     
  6. chadds

    chadds Roethlisberger & Palko > your QBs OT Supporter

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    A friend of mine was in a pretty similiar experience as you, it was slightly different though.

    His story is, he married a girl he was dating for 5 years, and after they were married for 6 months he met a girl by chance online, the girl was from Australia. He pretty much becomes obsessed with this girl, pretty much sounds like you are feeling the same way about your girl.

    So...he feels strongly enough that he tells his wife of 6 months it's over, and flies the girl over here from Australia for a month. Things end up working out great, and after one or 2 more visits, he packed up and moved to Australia to be with her.

    It's been about 4 years since, and he's happier than he's ever been with her in Australia.

    It can definatley work...but I would suggest a few more extended 1 month+ stays before you commit to moving to another country just to make sure it's definatley gonna work out.

    I have also met a few chics online, including the one I am living with now, and things are just peachy. It can definately work sometimes

    Good luck
     
  7. Darrin

    Darrin Eat. Sleep. Arrest People.

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    thats really encouraging chadds. i definately think i need a month+ stay to really get to know her and so she really gets to know me. but thats extraordinary about the aussie girl, wow!
     
  8. Dont Go Away

    Dont Go Away New Member

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    I met my boyfriend online, through someone else I met online (who became my best friend) who had been "online dating" him at the time...it was quite a strange experience. But, I moved to where he was and we've been together for a year and a half now.
     
  9. angeleyezx

    angeleyezx New Member

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    That story is sooooooooo familar...
    I met my guy over the net, Im in UK hes in USA
    I love america and plan to move there after school.
    I went there first, then he came here.
    without money or my education I cant move there and he cant move here.
    He wants us to wait and stay together for that time were apart.
    Im 19 and hes 20.
    Darrin, what part of the uk r u from?
     
  10. Darrin

    Darrin Eat. Sleep. Arrest People.

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    im from southampton, and yourself? pop me a pm if u wanna chat about stuff heh, maybe we can compare experiences.
     
  11. angeleyezx

    angeleyezx New Member

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    done and done...london
     
  12. Moonlight

    Moonlight Guest

    considering that u 2 only know each other for 2 months... it might be too fast... as in u still have a lot to learn about her and she still has a lot to learn about you... u dont even know if ur habits are compatible... since ur so far away, its hard to show ur true natural self... so i would say to explore this relationship u have with her and see where it goes from there...

    honestly, im in the same position
    I'm from North America and my bf is in Australia, we've known each other for 2 years and we've been together as a couple for 1 year and a half... and we've been together face to face as well... he knows my habits cuz i show it all.. and i know his habits... but i cant say for sure that i know all of him in his natural state :p and vice versa... but we're still both deeply in love with each other and understand each other in such a way that we are so steady and comfortable...

    my question to u is... are u 2 comfortable with each other? as in ur able to fart, burp, talk about taking a crap,... other things that u would feel comfortable doing around family... cuz when u can do that.. then ur comfortable enough to explore more
     
  13. okita1

    okita1 Great spirits have always encountered violent oppo

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    long distance relationships are definatly hard, but if both of you are putting in 100% then its definatly do-able. however are you sure she is? she sounded a little hesitant about waiting...
    anyway good luck man, i know what your going through
     
  14. Darrin

    Darrin Eat. Sleep. Arrest People.

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    yah we can do all that, honestly it was like meeting my soulmate and then having to walk away from it. everything about us has been crazy, from the first time we spoke, to falling in love, everything seemed to move so fast. But i certainly need to spend an extended period of time with her so she can see the real me and not just me for a week, and vice versa. I really thought i was part of a superminority but its really encouraging hearing your guys stories and experiences.
     
  15. Hunter Michaels

    Hunter Michaels The Real American Gigolo

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    Sometimes meeting people online is better than meeting them in a bar. It can work but it will take a lot of maturity on both your parts since this isn't a mere cross state thing. This involves major sacrifices and presents the distinct possibility of resentment in the future if things go south or don't work out as planned. I highly recommend you spend a great deal of time together before you make a life altering decision like this.

    Good luck!
     
  16. SeeVinceRun

    SeeVinceRun Currently In Prison OT Supporter

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    Sounds like you two really dig each other, and stuff like that doesn't happen often. I say go for it. If it doesn't work out you'll know it wasn't for lack of trying.
     
  17. Darrin

    Darrin Eat. Sleep. Arrest People.

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    well im young, and if it all doesnt go according to plan, at least i could come back in couple of years and say "well i tried, and i had fun doing it". i'd still only be 21 and still have my whole life ahead of me.
     
  18. SeeVinceRun

    SeeVinceRun Currently In Prison OT Supporter

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    Thats the spirit.
     
  19. Darrin

    Darrin Eat. Sleep. Arrest People.

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    jsut want to thank everyone for their help, if u guys wanna talk about your experiences and difficulties that u faced i'd love to hear them, i guess i gotta find out what im letting myself into, drop me a pm and i can chuck over my MSN/AIM
     
  20. KarmaPolice

    KarmaPolice Active Member

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    I didn't read most of the responses, so not sure where you're at now... but i read the original post, and all i can say is

    GO FOR IT...

    time shouldn't be an issue... if it's meant to happen 8 months won't change that... and if it isn't meant to happen and you get there and find that out, then you'll never be stuck in the "what if" position... i moved to St. Louis for a girl, and she dumped me about a week after i got there (we had been dating for 2 years previous to that when we both went to HS in japan and went off to different colleges freshman year)... anyway, at first i thought i had done the wrong thing transfering schools and such... but 3 years later, i know it was what i had to do... right or wrong... and my life has worked out pretty damn well as is... so do i regret moving? no... do i regret moving for her? no... should i have moved for her? yes....

    those are the 3 main questions which now make me realize that i was doing what i wanted, and what i needed, and the fact that i was so willing to do what i wanted for me, now actually makes me feel even better than the idea of if the relationship had worked out...

    that freedom from blazing your own trail (even when "convention" says you shouldn't) is truely amazing.
     
  21. Darrin

    Darrin Eat. Sleep. Arrest People.

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    yah i reaaly do want to do something i want for once, and if it all fails i can say i had fun doing it.


    where am i at currently? well i missed the college deadline for applicants outside of the us so im gonna phone them and see if i can fly to america to hand it in as there is also an internaltion student entry deadline for "inside of U.S"
     
  22. ISO9002

    ISO9002 New Member

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    ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IN THIS WORLD!
    Einstein : You can do anything with imagination!
     
  23. themacstallion

    themacstallion The electric sheep are dreaming up your fate

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    2 years ago my brother met someone over the internet that lived 600 miles away...they fell in love and talked EVERY minute on the phone, the didnt even meet until 6 months after this...they waited a year after that and she moved up here to live with him. 2 weeks ago they got married and they're very happy.

    If you can visit eachother every now and then, 8 months shouldnt be a big problem at all if you do love eachother.
     
  24. Darrin

    Darrin Eat. Sleep. Arrest People.

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    i guess if she's unprepared to wait then it wasnt meant to be, im trying not to worry too much about it atm, gonna take everything as it comes ;)
     
  25. cfordhere

    cfordhere Guest

    my current wife i met on an online game (eq) we met a few years ago, kept in touch and finally got the break. i understand her want and need to see you if she likes you soo much. why you ask? well because i made her come up a month early cause i was impatient. we got married rescently and couldnt be happier well we could be rich with money but hye yu cant have everything and i love her. so hold out for the best my friend.

    my wife 21
    me 31

    gl on your adventure
     

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