met a girl, but ... she has a bf

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by combustible, Nov 21, 2006.

  1. combustible

    combustible New Member

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    So, I broke up with my gf a couple of months ago and took some time off to regroup. My cousin invited me to hang out with her and her coworkers, (kind of the friday night single girls club) I figure I'm not doing much and I need to at least get out of the house and get myself back out there, so I go, even though I'm a bit late to meet them for happy hour.

    Well, one of them (OK, technically, all of them, but one in particular) was cute, and we got along pretty well. She was the new girl at the office, and so we talked while the others caught up on the office gossip. I thought all was going well until she mentioned something about her boyfriend :madfawk:. So anyways, I was a little bit crushed, but we had a nice conversation, and I was happy enough with that.

    Well, on the way home, my cousin mentioned that before I arrived she was talking about her boyfriend in more detail and she said it was a pretty wishy-washy, on again-off-again type of thing.

    Should I see if she's interested in getting to know each other, or just pass and keep on fishing? To be perfectly honest, she was cute as hell, I really liked her and would really like to get to know her, but I figured I'd get some outside advice instead of listening to my other brain for a change.
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    It might be OK to spend a little bit of time/effort to see if she's interested. If she likes you, and her current bf is wishy wasy or whatever, she should dump her bf to be with you.

    If things start to progress, but she stays with her bf, then she's just using both you and the bf.

    I'd personally suggest just moving on. It's probably not worth risking getting yourself in a position where you are attached to her/emotionally invested in her, and she's still with her bf.

    But generally....if a girl has a bf, it's not worth even thinking about.
     
  3. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    I'd say pass. There WILL be issues- either her issues or her bf's. You can find a cute, SINGLE girl who you get along with somewhere else.
     
  4. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    It's good that she mentioned about her bf. I hate it when chicks don't.

    There should be a rule, if you're a chick, and you're talking to a guy, you should mention that you have a bf within the first 3 minutes or something or else you go to jail. It would keep attention whores from flirting it up with you for an hour and then "oh, sorry, I'm going home with my friends cuz I have a bf." Way to tell me now, bish.
     
  5. ArthurPewty

    ArthurPewty New Member

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    I'll second this. If she does have a boyfriend and then starts dating you and afterward breaks up with her boyfriend (I'm assuming this is what you wish to happen), what does that tell you about how she handles relationships?

    At a minimum it tells you that: 1) she's willing to see someone behind her boyfriend's back; and 2) she doesn't confront significant issues that arise within a relationship and is willing to hang onto a relationship until something better comes along.

    You make the decision if that's what you want.
     
  6. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Rule #1 : Waste NO time on women with boyfriends, as you are quickly heading into friendzone.

    Rule #2 : Raise your standards.

    This was her way of saying to YOU that YOU are not boyfriend material, and she is trying to give you the hint to go away. Take it gracefully and leave her alone.

    This is where you need to raise your standards. Happy with being crushed? Happy with just talking to a *girl*? Dude, I would have ended the conversation within about a minute and met the other women. Leave her be.

    Never take advice about other people's relationships from a third party. Your well-intentioned cousin, unless he/she spends 100% of their time with this couple, knows nothing about them, and neither do you.

    Except that they ARE a couple.

    And get friendzoned? And continue molding yourself into a male who can be friends but not a lover? Why would you want to do that? Why not find a single woman who will be attracted to you for who you are, want to be with you, and through that experience you can learn how to be a better man in a committed relationship? Do you really want to learn how to manipulate people in relationships? It teaches you the wrong skills.

    Of course you would like to get to know her, but you're missing the most important thing: SHE does not want to get to know you.

    Move on. Find a single woman. Don't be a sucker.
     
  7. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    poco... you need to like write 5 books :p
     
  8. Sandoz

    Sandoz New Member

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    Dude, attractive girls ALWAYS have a boyfriend (of course I'm saying that as a single chick...). If you don't get used to muscle the other guy out you'll always end up with B level girls.
     
  9. enfiniti

    enfiniti How firm thy friendship ... OHIO!

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    Guys should never think about dating a girl with a boyfriend. And if they do think about it, they should never act on it. Men dont do that.

    Women can get away with dating guys with girlfriends because they can say they just want the money and will sleep around for it.

    There are plenty of single chicks out there. Dont waste your time in a no win situation.
     
  10. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    No they don't! That's the lamest excuse I have ever heard. I met plenty of attractive women who are single, all over the place.

    That is what they TELL guys in order to get them to leave them alone!
     
  11. Sandoz

    Sandoz New Member

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    And you also have the girls who stay with a guy only until they find something better, and the nice guy who waits for her to break up to move in gets shafted by the asshole who's smart enough to realize she's not off limits.
     
  12. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    wow, what a load of crap.

    Is there a rule somewhere that says all attractive women must have boyfriends?

    And come on..learning/believing that muscling out a current bf is the only way to get an attractive woman is just plain disrespectful. If someone is taken, you don't try to break them up, that's ridiculous and immature.

    Why waste your time and effort on someone you might get, but might also not get? And what's it say for the girl who lets some guy break up her and a boyfriend? What's to say it couldn't happen to him once he got the girl?

    If a girl breaks up because of another guy (not FOR, there's a difference, I'll explain shortly), it shoys she can't be loyal.

    If a taken woman meets another guy, and honestly finds him more attractive (both physically and personality wise and all that) and breaks up with her current bf so she can be with the other guy, that's fine.

    However, if a guy comes along and tries to drive a wedge between a woman and her bf...he's a disrespectful asshole. Any woman that breaks up with someone because she couldn't deal with pressure put on her relationship by another guy can't handle a real relationship, and isn't worth dating anyway.
     
  13. fray

    fray New Member

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    Or she felt like there was some "vibe" from you or between you two and wanted to stop it right there and let you know that while you guys are clicking and stuff, she's currently unavailable.

    If she breaks up with the boyfriend at some point in the future, go for it. If not, stay out of that mess...
     
  14. combustible

    combustible New Member

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    Thanks everyone, actually, I just needed to hear some others say it's a bad idea.

    Well, the search continues!:x: Unless I hear they're broken up. Then game on.

    I was actually glad she mentioned it, I'd hate to have all these ideas and find that out later.

    cheers!
     
  15. foad

    foad New Member

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    If it's a wishy washy relationship don't go for it if they break up mang. :squint:
     

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