MEN: What % of the time is this true?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Feb 16, 2010.

?

Read the statement and say how often it's true

  1. I'm a man. I believe it applies to less than 25% of women

    20 vote(s)
    16.7%
  2. I'm a man. I believe it applies to 26-50% of women.

    27 vote(s)
    22.5%
  3. I'm a man. I believe it applies to 51-75% of women

    33 vote(s)
    27.5%
  4. I'm a man. I believe it applies to more than 75% of women.

    30 vote(s)
    25.0%
  5. I'm a woman, I'm so high quality that this absolutely DOESN'T apply to me (yes it does)

    3 vote(s)
    2.5%
  6. I'm a woman. I will admit that this applies to me.

    2 vote(s)
    1.7%
  7. I'm a woman. My opinion doesn't count.

    5 vote(s)
    4.2%
  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    "Women will constantly (shit) test you and 'test the boundaries' in order to continually reaffirm to themselves that you are a "man," and the moment you fail a (shit) test or let them get away with pushing the boundaries, they lose interest."


    I am going to say that I think this is true for some women, but not all women. And then I am going to emphatically state that I don't think it is worth dating women for whom this is true, because if you do, your relationship will be a never-ending game. Some men may mistake this for "excitement" in the beginning stages of a relationship, but after a while you will grow tired of a) her games and b) endlessly having to "prove" or "(re)assert" yourself.



    I'm asking men because, if true, women would never admit it anyway. It's part of the Greater Woman Conspiracy. :mamoru:



    edit - last poll option should read "I'm a woman. My opinion doesn't count but I wanted to vote anyway" :bowrofl: :bowrofl:
     
  2. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    This thread is discussing women who do it CONSTANTLY. Obviously all women do it sometimes, or early on.
     
  3. peoplescar

    peoplescar Guest

    yes but most don't have a clue they are doing it. human nature.
     
  4. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    This is why I stopped chasing princess types many years ago. I loved princess types at first, because they kept me on my toes or some shit. But once I realized it was test after test after test and there is no winning, because if you "win" on one test there'll be another tomorrow, I swore to myself I'd never date a princess type again (and I haven't)

    It definitely isn't all women that do this. IMO only the very insecure, they set out hoops for you to jump through so that every time you do it reaffirms your desire to be with them and that you're willing to jump through their damn hoops.
     
  5. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    My psycho ex did this CONSTANTLY. It drove me up the fucking wall. I literally stopped caring toward the end. It was too much effort to keep her "happy." If she was that "unsure" about me that she had to constantly keep "testing" me, then go find someone else.

    And every time I "passed" a test, the results were short lived. It was fucking annoying.

    I've illustrated it in graph form:

    Here is my psycho ex:

    [​IMG]


    Here is the rest of the women I've dated:

    [​IMG]
     
  6. tehganj

    tehganj oh, hi.

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    Wife was the "princess" type before until I knocked her off of her high horse. (Beauty Queen Syndrome?) Of course, it still crops up from time to time including the testing but she quickly realizes I couldn't give two shits and her point of me either failing or passing becomes moot.
     
  7. idesofmarch

    idesofmarch New Member

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    :werd: indifference and obliviousness are the best ways of dealing with these types of women
     
  8. Nuhlinga

    Nuhlinga Whaa gwaaan papcaann?

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    the last thread I made about my friend who i cut ties with was like this, only I didnt realize it at the time I met her. thanks to the Vag I now know better.
     
  9. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    you are missing the third variable.


    z: your actual level of dominance.

    So long as your level of dominance/assertiveness/manliness/whatever exceeds her minimum, you will not be tested.

    The kind of girl that might shit test you to oblivion will simply not pull that shit on another guy who she perceives to be dominant enough that she wouldn't dare. You need to find compatibility. A girl who thought you were basically completely and utterly above her would not be any fun either. Gotta find someone in the range that works for you.

    again, just an issue of compatibility that you are blowing way out of proportion and skewing with your weird "what works for me is universally optimal" thought process that backwards rationalizes the conditions that create situations which are not ideal for you as empirically universally inferior.

    Its not low self esteem that causes these women to shit test you. if anything at least call it something that makes sense... arrogance, entitlement, unrealistic expectations? I think all of those are wrong, but they make more sense then trying to claim that its low self esteem that makes women not want a guy who is of questionable confidence. If her test can hurt you, then your confidence is questionable. This isn't a dig. If i somehow ended up dating Bar Refaeli, her shit test would kill me.. If i was dating roseanne bar, my confidence would be untouchable

    If anything, the random postulation that its your lse that causes you to be frequently tested and find them to be such a negative experience seems more plausible.
     
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Good point.

    So you're saying not everyone ideally wants someone who is compatible with them?

    The only girl I've dated who was like this was very LSE... which made no sense because she was a knockout and got hit on 24/7.

    Maybe the LSE results in them not having confidence in their own choice in men. "did i make the best choice?" "i'm not sure, I better test him." "ok, well he passed that last test, but I'm still not sure, I better test him again." Infinite loop.
     
  11. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    For research purposes I once dated a girl who tested me consantly

    not in a prove your dominance way bur a prove you desire me way

    when it all started tocrumble she cried and said I dot understand her because if I did then I would have passed her test by saying yes to somehing because I should know she is insecure and that is why she tests me
     
  12. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    My psycho ex did that, too.

    We'd be fighting, and she'd drop a "If you loved me, you'd [insert bullshit]."

    I was like :ugh2:

    Holy fuck I was dumb for staying with her for so long :wtc:

    I could write a book about our relationship and call it "How to identify games and relationship red flags." But the bottom line is we weren't compatible because she wanted something different than what I provided (she wanted excitement, I provided stability) and I wanted stability but she was a wackjob.

    She'd be an interesting case study. While I know her very well, I honestly believe that she will never be happy in a relationship because she craves instability and drama, and by nature, those things will upset the balance of a relationship. One of those people who is "only happy when she's fighting because she's getting her emotional fix." Sadly, until that changes, she won't be happy, and will jump from guy to guy.
     
  13. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Relationships, love and dating, are only a game because women make it that way.
     
  14. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    Sometimes I play little mind games (definitely not constantly), I admit to that. But I don't do it to prove myself anything about the guy, I do it when I'm bored with the relationship and need some kind of excitement. And for some reason, some stupid little arguments/tests here and there can give me that excitement. It can be related to my childhood. I had two siblings around my age and we would tease each other/fight/play with each other's minds every freaking day. Maybe I just miss that a little bit sometimes. However, it never led to a big fight or a big deal in my relationships or friendships. My ex even once said that he finds it cute and that he can never really get mad at me even when he acts like he is mad at me.

    I also get off on sexual games...that's why roleplaying is a huge turn on for me.

    :bowdown: :bowdown::bowdown: Very true.
     
  15. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    no everyone should want someone compatible. Im just saying that its a stretch to say that because someone requires more dominance than you comfortably naturally exhibit that they are low value or low self esteem. I would call girls that try me often fiesty and i enjoy it.


    Most girls are like this to some extent. Women are constant line steppers. Is it possible that he super hotness is just what made you uncomfortable with being tested or cause you to display less dominance? I will buy your possibility that it's doubt in her own choices though. I guess that seems possible.

    I actually enjoy girls who challenge me in non psycho ways. To me its fun.
     
  16. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    thats a shit test right there, but the test is to see if you fall for her bullshit.

    Passing that shit test is controlling the frame. If you control the frame then she messed up and its too bad that she feels bad. If you fail the shit test, then the fact that her feelings are hurt is more important then the fact that you find her behavior to be unacceptable and incorrect.

    If their shit never works, they will stop trying to pull it on you. If it does work, they will never stop and will constantly push to see what more they can get away with.
     
  17. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    elaborate on passing the shit test?

    if i think back on how i handled it, i didnt fail it outright, but i wouldnt say i passed it with flying colors either
     
  18. Pounce

    Pounce New Member

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    Fuck you.
     
  19. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Part of the problem with my ex, tho, was that it was constant.

    In the beginning I was like "fun, excitement, keeps me on my toes, etc." But seriously dude, I got fucking tired of it being ALL the time.

    I would think "it sure would be nice to have a relaxing weekend this weekend." Nope! Bullshit games.

    "It sure would be nice to have a relaxing evening." Nope! Bullshit games out of fucking nowhere.

    "It sure would be nice to have a relaxing 5 minutes." Nope! Bullshit games.

    "It sure would be nice to be single." Bye.

    Maybe I wasn't "dominant" enough for her. She had a habit of dating "rough around the edges" policemen and military guys. That's not me. I always suspected I wasn't what she actually wanted, anyway, and I was right. Although she would talk about the things she liked about me (good with money, emotionally stable, college, etc.) it was like I could tell that she was saying that because she thought those were the things she was supposed to want, but what actually made her pussy wet was cops, dudes with guns, guys who got in fights, etc. So it was a compatibility thing.

    I remember she was all pissy one night (more drama) and asked me why I didn't "kick some dude's ass" when we were out at the bar. I was like "are you fucking serious?" :ugh2: The funny part was that she was older than me (I was 25, she was 26), yet I was infinitely more mature.

    I'm sure I lost value in her eyes for "not being a man" by not starting a fight with some dude, but by then I was starting to realize how miscalibrated she was (daddy issues) and didn't really care anymore. Not that I would've started a fight, anyway, cuz that's not how I roll.
     
  20. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    Maybe I just naturally avoid that type, but I haven't really ran into it. And even among friends or friends of the people I dated, would say less than 1/4.
     
  21. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    exactly what i said... incompatible led to you failing enough shit test that they increased in frequency and ridiculousness.

    btw, its possible to "win" without kicking the other guys ass. Believing you either have to kick the guys ass or else you are a sissy bitch is you letting her suck you into her rabbit hole. lose either way. What happened to your worldview that fighting is low class and beneath you?
     
  22. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :bowrofl:
     
  23. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Are you serious?

    Well first of all, it was over something stupid like "he keeps looking at me."

    But for real, with the exception of life and death situations (which I haven't been in, knock on wood), I don't fight for the following reasons:

    1. You never know who is secretly a Brazilian Jujitsu blackbelt and will pwn you in 5 seconds. Having trained at BJJ and MMA schools in the past, I really don't want to be on the losing side of a fight.

    2. You never know how many friends they have who you don't see. I don't feel like being sucker-punched and eating from a straw for the next 6 months. I'd lose too much weight.

    3. You never know who has weapons.

    4. I don't want to get someone's blood on me (diseases)

    5. If I win, I don't want to get sued for damages and medical bills. Unlike most people who are quick to fight, I actually have something to lose.

    6. If I win, I don't want to get arrested for battery.

    7. If I win, I don't want his thug dbag friends to hunt me down and get "revenge fo' dey homie" at some undisclosed point in the future.

    8. I really, really don't give a shit

    I really can't see anyone who is over 18 years old and who isn't a complete loser in life or some thug who thinks he has something to "prove" when someone "disrespeks him" disagreeing with any of these points.
     
  24. Ep

    Ep Guest

    My ex girlfriend would pull the if you loved me crap, but I think she was kind of delusional to begin with.
     
  25. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    As I get older, I've realized that I'd rather not even bother "proving" to a girl how "manly" I am.

    ... which ironically is probably increasing her attraction :mamoru:

    Like with my psycho ex, I would try to rationalize why fighting was stupid. But now, I wouldn't even care. I'd just be like "are you serious? Go date some other dude then who likes to get in bar fights then." :ugh2:
     

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