Men: How often does your gf call to complain about shit?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by jmezz, Jun 10, 2008.

?

How often does your gf call to complain?

  1. multiple times per day

    26.2%
  2. once a day

    35.5%
  3. my gf rarely complains

    38.3%
  1. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Is it everyday? Is it multiple times per day?

    I've had it with listening to my gf complain about shit multiple times per day.

    I've tried to be patient and understanding as most of her friends and her best friend are gone to other states, but this is getting ridiculous.

    I'd say that a good 99% of her calls throughout the day are to complain about something, mostly her job. How 'this person doesn't do this,' or 'i do all of this but no one pulls their weight.' It's the same conversation every single time about how she feels disrespected and whatnot.

    This has been going on since late last year.

    I've done my part in just listening and consoling her. I've done my part in giving her solid advice when she asks for it. But obviously it goes in one ear and out the other or has no effect on her because sure enough, like clockwork, she still complains.

    My belief is that there comes a point where if you don't get off your ass and do something about it, you DESERVE what you are getting, and I want to tell her this but I'm thinking that it's probably not a good idea.

    The part that gets me is that it's gotten to the point where basically everytime she calls, she doesn't even ask how my day went first or say something like 'hey babe,' it's straight to yappin about what it is that's bothering her that day. All I have time to do is pick up the phone and say 'hello.'

    Anyone going through this or is it just me?

    Edit - So I added a poll.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2008
  2. CHOWBOX

    CHOWBOX OT Supporter

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    You're not alone. I got those calls all the time. She told me she just needed to vent. She knew i wouldn't do anything about it, but I'm a good listener. :dunno:
     
  3. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Now don't get me wrong, I know I'm supposed to be supportive and there are going to be times where I'm going to be inundated with problems, but this is getting so out of control and I know it's only a matter of time before I just hang up on her in the middle of her talking, and I don't really want it to come to that.

    How often is 'all the time?'

    Honestly I could write a book about being supportive and being a good listener and it would be an all-time best seller, but being supportive / good listener is not the issue here.

    The issue here is my daily sanity. I'm starting to wonder if she just has all this shit on a recording and calls me up to fuck with me throughout my day. :o
     
  4. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Fortunately I've never had this but I do know the exact type of phone call you're talking about it. Yea, I've had it happen but not on a regular basis like you're saying. The last girl I spent a lot of time talking to on the phone would actually call me a lot at her work when something 'exciting' happened. Also if she didn't have a lot to do at work at the time and was bored she'd call.

    Approach it calmly and just tell her that it irritates you when a majority of the phone calls are to complain not to talk or say hi.
     
  5. XxvODvxX

    XxvODvxX New Member

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    Just tell her exactly how you feel. either she'll understand and try to work with you on this or 2) she will stop talking about it in general. I would recommend the first and explain how shes not caring enough about your day, she doesn't listen to your advice....ETC... I feel you are right about those people who don't try to change their situation. So make this clear to her also and explain that maybe she might want to find a new job to try and make things easier on both of you.

    sometimes work issues just need to stay at work.
     
  6. CHOWBOX

    CHOWBOX OT Supporter

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    she travels for work and would call me daily to bitch about how poorly a particular radiology department is run. or how stupid people are where she is living. I would hear about it at least twice a day if not three. there is always a light at the end of the tunnel for her though and she will move on to another part of the country and a different hospital.

    Your case may differ. if she doesn't love her job why does she stay?
     
  7. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    1. shes a women. She isn't calling for your advice shes calling to talk with somebody. It wont end.

    2. my gf never calls me to complain. I also picked a happy go lucky gf though. I'm pessimistic enough that I can't handle someone else pulling us down.
     
  8. mavfan1

    mavfan1 Active Member

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    never once. she rarely complains about anything
     
  9. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Women contemplate their problems not by internally thinking about them like men do, but by telling other people their problems. This is her working her problems out, and you're the most convienent person she can hit up. Men think that women are asking for advice when they do this but giving your opinion doesn't help unless she specifically asks for it. I'm not a woman so I don't understand why they do this, but that's just the way it is.
     
  10. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    I rarely ever call my SO to complain to him about something. Although, I have seen it happen with other couples... and it's just not the Gf/Bf couples too.
     
  11. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    Most recent GF would call 3-4 times a day, text, and facebook message me. If I didnt tend to every last attempt to contact me I wasn't putting enough effort into it acording to her. When she did call she was around people (courtesy says go outside) and/or wouldnt talk about much of anything of any importance.

    Weight off my chest for sure.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd: I was just going to say, I've never called my bf during the day to complain about something. Then again, I always try to fix my own issues because I know my bf isn't keen on hearing any problems I have while working.

    Even at night when I see him or when we talk on the phone I can't recall just bitching endlessly. Then again, I don't have a lot of problem to bitch about :dunno:


    jmezz, you've been complaining about this to me forever. Have you still never sat her down and explained how it drains you and she needs to cut down?
     
  13. 1.8t

    1.8t Member

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    She is a woman. She will call to bitch about stuff....definitely more often then not. Most women, unlike men, feel the need to vent/constantly tell you about their dreadful "problems" while men STFU and either put up with it or fix it. I will never understand why the female mind(for most women, so lets not start with the whole "all women aren't like that" argument) works this way.
     
  14. Vector

    Vector New Member

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    I have a wife. She doesn't need to call.

    aka...it's pretty much constant
     
  15. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    To keep it short, we had a brief discussion about it but nothing has changed. I was already planning on bringing this up to her next time I see her, just wanted to see whoelse deals with this.
     
  16. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    It doesn't matter if its 'normal' if its bugging you, tell her in a way that sticks
     
  17. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You need to have a thorough conversation about this, and if it continues just tell her flat out on the phone that you are busy and don't care to talk about it :dunno:

    Multiple times a day is ridiculous and you are honestly pretty stupid if you deal with it and condone it by staying on the phone with her. Learn to cut her off. These are her insignificant issues that she's not dealing with, not yours.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2008
  18. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :wtc: point well made.
     
  19. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    And what point would that be?
     
  20. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    This is just another aspect of her which relates to immaturity and insecurities. Like i've told you a thousand times, your current g/f is a lot like my ex g/f.

    For years I never minded the complaining that much because it wasn't "that" bad. She would complain about school and her family, which was fine. I just listened and tried to make her feel better.

    After a while it started getting out of hand though. She would call me PURELY to complain at least twice a day. It was almost always about her roommates, co-workers, or friends. I kid you not, I wouldn't talk to her ALL FUCKING DAY because we were busy and when I finally got a chance to talk with her it was 30 seconds of "how are you, I love you" and then 45min of her complaining about stupid shit that could be fixed if she got off her ass and stood up for herself.
    It was seriously driving me nuts. For a while our routine would be:
    - Morning she would call and wake me up... I would wake up to her complaining about the events of the prior night because of her roommates.
    - I wouldn't talk to her all freaking day except maybe a quick 10min convo of her whining about a friend annoying her.
    - At night, I would leave the gym, she would be studying and call me back at midnight complaining again about friends/class/co-workers.

    This was our Mon-Thurs routine for many months. The weekends were always fine though.

    Man, I fucking hated that :rofl:

    I am like you J-Dawg.... If you have a problem, then work to fix it. If you friends treat you badly, get new friends. If your co-workers suck, tell them to STFU or get a new job, if you feel out of shape then hit the fucking gym.
    I guy can only take so much bitching before they want to put a screw driver into their head.

    I love the girl dearly, but that was one thing I absolutely could not take and was glad to be done with when we ended it.

    On another note, i'll ask again; why are you still with her?
    At least once a month you have a new problem with her and then talk yourself into thinking it will get better... and it never does. You seriously need to cut this one loose. I waited too long, and I don't want you to make the same mistake.
    Especially with her talking marriage your way now :eek3::eek4:
     
  21. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    stop complaining. :o
    stop rambling :o
    stop taking you for granted :o
     
  22. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Doesn't work like that.

    My ex was just like J's girl. I was with her for 6 years, you don't think I tried everything in the book?

    You have a serious talk with them and they acknowledge it, and it only changes things for a couple weeks.

    You start cutting the convo off early and they get pissed because "you're never there for them when they need you".

    You tell them flat out to stop fucking complaining and do something about it because you don't want to hear it and then they get bitter and resentful, and even more insecure.

    At least with my situation, it wasn't so much an issue of her needing to shut up and realize what she was doing... It was just her venting because she was insecure and shy and could never say anything to someone's face so all that frusteration got let out in complaining... to me :rolleyes:
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd:
     
  24. Queenpkn

    Queenpkn New Member

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    I think us women just tend to think that men are mind readers and we need realize they're not. Also, we think that you men should think like us. So when something happens or doesnt get done we think the man is being mean/jerk because we always follow through and do the things we say we're going to do. So it feels like it's a slap in the face when the man doesnt come through for us. When in truth, men just forget sometimes and we should cut them some slack...but not too much.
     
  25. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    i do it maybe once a week? last time was last thursday when the bank needed two picture ids to write me a cashiers cheque, and i had to go home and get my passport.


    generally, i don't talk to the boy on the phone.
     

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