men cheating vs women cheating

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by THoC, Aug 27, 2009.

  1. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    weird topic that me and a buddy were talking about last night.

    this is not a thread about making excuses for men cheating or making it appear less evil..... but....... i just could not help the fact that the more him and i talked about it the more it kind of made sense.


    we were discussing that it's worse for a woman to cheat then it is a man.

    why?

    bc when i guy cheats it's ALMOST always purely to get laid. there is ALMOST always no emotional reason why men do it.

    however when a woman cheats it ALMOST always includes an emotional reason.

    the emotional need to cheat to me is worse then the physical need to cheat.

    both evils, yes.... but the emotional need being the greater evil.


    so i almost talked myself into believing that a woman should be more likely to take back a cheating man than a man should take back a cheating woman.


    ** I have never cheated on a gf. dont ever plan to.

    *** waiting for mchoen to come in this thread and :h5:

    **** also waiting to get demolished by the vag women :noes:
     
  2. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    It's all the same to me.
     
  3. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    explain..... do you not agree in any way that the reason why the two genders cheat are different?
     
  4. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    Assuming your argument is true, I don't see why one would be worse than another. Women need more emotion and attention than men need, so they cheat for that reason. Men need more sex, so they cheat for that reason. So basically it is the same thing based on what they want/need more.
     
  5. saosko

    saosko OT Supporter

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    We just had a thread like this last week.
     
  6. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    here is my reasoning.... as flawed as it may be......

    the emotional bond between a couple is very important. yes i know, so is the sexual. but to me.... more important.

    so. if a woman needs the emotional attention of another guy it will be more detramental to the relationship then a man seeking to get laid by another woman for no other reason then he wants to fuck.
     
  7. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i must have missed it. mine is better damn it! :hs:
     
  8. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    The desire to cheat ultimately comes from some internal need for something chaotic. Whether they need attention, validation, emotional connection, or just chaos depends on the individual. And I don't see any of that being particular to men or women.
     
  9. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i see.
     
  10. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    meh, this is what you think. Some other men would be more bothered if their women needed sex outside of a relationship. you might not see sex as someting intimate that should stay between a couple but many many do.

    Also I don't think women necessarily cheat for "emotional" attention. Many of my friends that cheated did it to purely get some attention(didn't need it to be really emotional). Their reasoning was their bf stopped giving them the attention they used to...as I think for men it could be sex or just something sexual.
     
  11. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Besides I think the concept that women are more emotional and men are more logical is outdated and wildly inaccurate. Human beings are both by nature and whether we choose to embrace either is an individual thing. Now if you wanted to say that society teachs people to fit gender roles and so the genders reflect that, I would say there is some truth to that, but ultimately it's an excuse and doesn't actually hold any real water.
     
  12. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    I think both are equally bad because they both betray the trust built in the relationship.
     
  13. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    I agree. But most of the time if a woman is somewhat satisfied sexually in her relationship, she would not cheat just to get sex. At least this is what I observed.
     
  14. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i def see what you're saying.

    however, if a woman is sexually satisfied but her man stopped showing her emotional attention she may still cheat.

    for example "we still have sex and its great. but other then that ENTER NAME HERE does not pay as much attention to me as he/she used to. so i cheated".

    which gender is more likely to say that?
     
  15. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    Not even. :rolleyes: I've cheated a couple of times, and my reason was for variety. Both times I was in a LTR, and I just wanted to experience something sexually different. There was no emotional attachment, and it was never more than a single event.
     
  16. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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  17. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I honestly think either.
     
  18. giz

    giz Active Member

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    I think they are equal. even if you're assumption is true, that for men it's only physical and that for women it's emotional, why is doing it for emotional reasons necessarily worse?
     
  19. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    interesting read. im not discounting it.. whoever, keep in mind that after someone does something bad (like cheating) they need to make themselves feel better about it and at the same time make the person they are telling this to pity them a little more.

    so....

    man 1 says "i just cheated on my wife bc i wanted to have sex w. a different chick. i was tired of the same ol pussy".

    vs

    man 2 "i cheated bc my wife did not show me the emotional attention i needed. she took me for granted and did not make me feel like she really appreciates me".

    man 2 will

    1. sound more like a victim.
    2. get more pity.
    3. make himself feel a little better about they why.


    man 1 will be a complete asshole.
     
  20. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    bc to me emotional bond between two people is more important then the physical aspect.

    therefore assuming a woman cheated on me bc she had an emotional attachemnt to another guy makes it worse to cheat.


    for example.... say i cheated on my gf. she asked me why.

    "i did it bc i feel an emotional attachment to JANE. it then escalated to us having sex"

    or

    "i did it bc you were out of town and i had not had sex for 2 weeks. i was horny".


    i guarantee most girls, if they were comtemplating even taking me back, would be a lot more likely to take me back with the second reason.

    why? bc she would think "its a one time thing bc he was horny". vs.... "wait.... he does not emotinally feel attached to me? he has an emotional attachment to JANE? AND he fucked her!? im done."
     
  21. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    I would not take you back either way:dunno: Actually if I was to take you back it would be when you emotionally cheated, cause I would think we could work on our emotional problems. But a horny guy that can't keep it in his pants is harder to fix.
     
  22. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    .
     
  23. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    But isn't that emotional bond solidified through expression, both physical and mental? I could never love someone who I never slept with..
     
  24. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    We cheat because we need variety and our psychological makeup isn't designed to be in one relationship for our entire lives. It's in our genes to have multiple sexual partners in our lifetime so as to ensure our species survives.

    One of the best feelings in the world is going thru the limerance stage when you meet someone new that is also attracted to you and you have a connection with.
     
  25. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    i think i would rather have an emotional reason for him to cheat. if he was going to risk everything we have built together, it better be for something more than just one night of meaningless fucking.

    it would be hard to take him back in either situation. but in situation 1, we would explore why he even started to build the connection with another woman (whats lacking in our relationship basically) that could be fixable. in situation 2, the only thing to fix is to not ever go out of town so he is at home alone and horny.

    i think emotional cheating is worse cause its more serious, but i would be more willing to trust again (given the right circumstance of counseling and both of us making the effort to fix it) than i would with just physical cheating cause he felt like it one night.
     

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