LGBT Men are pigs ;'(

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by RyRy, Jul 11, 2005.

  1. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    :wtc: My b/f, ex, whatever we are had a serious talk today (which we never do but this has been our 2nd one in a month or so) and he told me that he loved me but that he was never going to be ina committed relationship with me and that he could never be in one with anyone. I have been with this guy since I was 15 and Im almost 24!!!!!!!!! 8 f-ing years! My teens, 1/2 of my college life (have 2-3 more years left) I all thought that he loved me and we were in a committed monogomous relationship. Granted I knew he had strayed a few times but never the amoung that he admitted to tonight. He admitted to being with 20 guys and most of them multiple times as much as once a day for a week or more at a time. :wtc: Its now 125 am and I have been crying / balling since at least 8 or 9pm. When will this pain go away? It feels like everything inside of me has been ripped out. Last time we talked a couple weeks ago everything was fine, hell today I even admitted to being molested when I was in 2-4th grade and that I have been having these dreams lately about what happened and that it why I haven't been in the mood much lately. He didn't even say sorry give me a hug, etc. :wtc: Well I've know woken my parents up shit how am I going to explain this... im awake at 130 in the morning balling my eyes out and I feel like Im going to be sick. The worse part is I don't even have anyone local to go to to talk to. There is some more of the story I will write it later tomorrow (Monday) Ive got to go :sadwavey:
     
  2. Wolf

    Wolf No one plans to take the path that brings you lowe

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  3. Teh_Sponge

    Teh_Sponge Hey, I got a sub now...

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    :hug:

    Sorry to hear that man. :wtc:
     
  4. Hunter Michaels

    Hunter Michaels The Real American Gigolo

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    that sux, the only thing I can say is that despite how bleak things may seem right now, things will get better. it will take some time, and some adjustment and maybe when all is said and done you will find yourself better off.
     
  5. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    :hugot:He is a cheating bastard and didn't deserve you anyways :asshole:

    All will be well, I can promise you that.
     
  6. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    :wtc: I couldn't sleep at all last night. I finally popped a couple more of my mom's anti-depressants about 4 or 5am and they knocked me out until 11. Ive been up for an hour and it feels like a year. Now "a"'s twin brother and girl friend are calling looking for him (I'm assuming he's at Brandons) so I had to tell them he's at Brandon's or at least thats where he said he was going last night if him and "s" broke up. I've started crying my eyes out again. The tears are pouring so hard and fast right now I feel like I'm going to hurl so bye for now

    I'm such a good person I keep thinking... man I hope he doesn't hurt "a" like he's hurt me. But I know he's going to. But I guess when your 17 (a is, I'm almost 24 and "b" is 26) you don't realize how bad the world can be and you see the world through sugar coated eyes. But I will try to be his friend that way when he realize's "b"'s ways I can be there for him. I just hope it doesn't take him 8 of his young years to figure it out. :sadwavey:
     
  7. Team503

    Team503 Guest

    Let him go. I know it hurts, and I'm sorry, but it's for the best. You want to settle down, he obviously does not.

    Try to move on if you can.

    *hugz*
     
  8. marxwa99

    marxwa99 Boom Squad

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    1) drugs are bad

    2) in his mind, he's probably thinking that he's been with you for all the time he can think of. So he feels like he's missing out of something that others have had the chance to do - be a hoe.

    3) It's okay to take some time off from him. It is ludicrous to believe that people can go from dating seriously to just being friends immediately after the breakup. There has to be time to figure things out, get back to one's own life, and then try to reincorporate a friendship with an ex. I tried to do it from boyfriends to friends overnight and it never works. What repaired the relationship was the time off and the occassion where we happened to run into one another, talked for a while, caught up, and decided, yes, we should start hanging out again.

    4) There is nothing wrong with crying. it's better to let it out rather than holding it in and goin chaotic, which is what i have done before. And it is not a pretty site.

    You'll be fine. You're still young. Lotsa good times ahead for you. You did nothing wrong. he did.
     
  9. Ivy Mike

    Ivy Mike New Member

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    1. Drug abuse is bad. Occasional use is OK. Just don't take them all the time (unless perscribed)

    You wil be OK, I promise.
    Cry now, but try not to be overwhelmed by this. There is remarkable strength in the human mind and you have only but to search it out and put it to use. You have already found the beginnings of it by voicing anger. Anger is showing that you know something bad was done to you. Now, this is where some get it right and others get it wrong.
    You could just stay angry. It does work by dulling the pain, but the side effect is that you stay angry.

    A better option is to sit and contemplate what has happened. Think about it for yourself. Hopefully, you come to the conclusion that such a person is not worth having around. Eventually, you will find a better class of person to be with.

    Also, don't beat yourself up thinking you wasted your time. Obviously, this person was not always like this. They changed and were no longer the person you knew. I know that doesn't sound great, but it is true. There is nothing you could have done.
     
  10. marxwa99

    marxwa99 Boom Squad

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    Thank you for the correction. Drugs are bad...when they go and make you fuck your plans with friends! That, my friends, is another story, that will go untold! :p
     
  11. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    I'm sorry... :hug: :kiss:
     
  12. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    update time!

    Ok so I guess alot of our close friends have found out what happened and they are all pissed at him and his new man or as I refer to him as toy. I however spend over an hour with his new toy's ex boyfriend. He said that he had his suspisons about me and B and that he wanted to say something to us that his b/f had the hots for B but he said up until last night / today he wasn't for sure. He also mentioned that a few of our close friends had their suspisions and they are pissed too. As far as the drugs, they are prescription 1/2mg pills nothing bad and I know not to abuse them I just needed some help last night. I'm trying to move on and what scared the hell out of me is while me and the toy's ex were riding around talking about everything both of those bastards had done to us the feelings I had for B were gone and I cared nothing but to listen to him. I have liked this guy for awhile but never enough to act on it, tell anyone, etc. I just thought he was cute to look at and that he was funny. Well also last night his now ex told me that he had a crush on me. Its sad / funny that even though Ive been single less then 24 hours Im finding these feelings for S re-surfacing but I don't want to act on them quite yet. I don't want a re-bound, I want a comitted relationship. Falcon can bring me my rebounds via this wonderful computer Im on!


    edit::naughty: :rofl: Thanks OT, I seriously just had a giggle that almost became a laugh right there. Normally Im the bright, happy person who's always laughing but not today. And I know I probably sounded like a slut talking about already liking S but I myself can't explain it either. Plus I won't act on it in any way other then to be there for him as a friend who just got dumped.

    As far as Clean97GTI... He admitted to cheating on me the entire time! So its not that he changed, its just I never knew! Well I knew to a certain extent of two or three times not he had slept with almost 20 guys multiple times some more then we did.
     
  13. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    Mariah I hope your right.....


    Mariah Carey - Through The Rain
    When you get caught in the rain,with nowhere to run.
    When you're distraught and in pain,without anyone.
    When you keep crying out, to be saved, but nobody comes
    And you feel so far away.
    That you just can't find your way home.
    You can get there alone.
    It's okay.
    What you say is.

    I can make it through the rain.
    I can stand up once again,on my own,and I know,that I'm strong enough to mend.
    And everytime I feel afraid,I hold tighter to my faith.
    And I live one more day and I make it throught the rain.

    And if you keep falling down.
    Don't you dare give in.
    You will arise,safe and sound.
    So keep pressing on,stedfessly
    And you'll find what you need.
    To prevail.
    What you say is.

    I can make it through the rain.
    I can stand up once again,on my own,and I know,that I'm strong enough to mend.
    And everytime I feel afraid,hold tighter to my faith.
    And I live one more day and I make it through the rain.

    And when the wind blows.
    As shadows grow close.
    Don't be afraid.
    There's nothing you can't face.
    And sure they tell you.
    You'll never pull through.
    Don't hesitate.
    Stand tall and say.

    I can make it through the rain.
    I can stand up once again,on my own,and I know,that I'm strong enough to mend.
    And everytime I feel afraid,I hold tighter to my faith.
    And I live one more day and I make through the rain.

    I can make it through the rain.
    and stand up once again,and I live one more day and night and I make through the rain.
    Oh yes you can,you're gonna make it through the rain.
     
  14. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    i read this all last night - but im bad with this kinda support. I know you'll be okay, you are already looking past it in some ways. As everyone else has said, you'll rebound a stronger and better person.
     
  15. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    Thanks to the goddesses named Mariah, Cher, Amy Lee, and that chick that sings 2AM I've made alot of progress in the last 3-4 hours :wiggle: :hsd: And I've nearly forgot about the ex in some ways because Stephen keeps calling me. I hope he likes me because everytime he hangs up I can't wait for him to call me back. EEEK! Im falling for a femme guy! :hsughr:
     
  16. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    Oh and get this... the ex is already getting his new toy a cellphone, he's moving in, etc. Me and Stephen (the toy's ex) are like :wtf:?! Plus I can't wait till they go to have sex... my ex is hung like a hummingbird and his new toy is a bottom just like him and to quote the toy "I hope I never get with a man who has a small penis" :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
     
  17. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    :rofl: if it's an ssri then it's not going to do much if you take "a few" once. That's not how they work...

    But honestly if you don't think you can deal with this then please see a doctor. Don't take somebody else's meds.
     
  18. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    come on now, were over the meds :big grin: :big grin: ry already has a new man...

    Ry, i know you will be better off, I think you are ALREADY happier - you know this is for the best.
     
  19. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    I've only taken one pill today and that was about 5 minutes ago :rofl: I came out to some more friends today mostly because they would be like "Listen Ryan we don't know a nice way to say this but... we are sorry for whats going on and we've known about you since we met you / for a few years / etc" And part of these happened in their front lawn so their neighbors know now too :ugh: :noes: And now this new guy I like... we have hung out almost all day and he wants me to go Iowa City to the dentist with him tomorrow and everyone that I came out to tonight keeps telling the both of us that we need to get togehter :noes: Only problem is... hes a top and I'm a top. And somehow in all the gayness of me coming out to 4 people and the 4 of us spening the nite cruising around and setting at the trailer we were talking about our dicks and his sounds delicious.:yum: And I haven't had sex in like 4 weeks now so Im pretty :naughty: for being depressed as I am. Anyways I got to go its 2am, and I have to be up by 6-630 if I'm going wiht him!
     
  20. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    hahaha listen to you, one big stream of conciousness - one of my favorite types of reading!

    This breakup was overdue...

    oh yea - the whole top top thing.. come on now, dont classify yourself as strictly one or the other, you'll miss out on a lotta fun ;)
     
  21. suckmyexhaust

    suckmyexhaust New Member

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    The only way to get over one is to get under another.

    Trust me on this one.
     
  22. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    My world came crashing down again today.... he started calling and text messaging me. So we talked and officialy ended it today. Nearly all of yesterday's progress is gone. And now I'm in the scared stage again. Everytime someone looks at me, or leaves a voicemail that their voice sounds a bit different Iget sicker and sicker to my stomach. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I don't feel safe, I don't feel calm. I'm giving up and taking one of moms pills now lets hope it helps. I will write more later :wtc:
     
  23. Ivy Mike

    Ivy Mike New Member

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    Seriously, ignore the calls from him.

    If he doesn't want you around anymore, then you certainly don't need to talk to him.
    Separation from him probably feels like losing your right arm, but in the end, you will feel better.

    If I were in your neighborhood, I'd take you out for sympathy/fuck the ex-SO drinks.

    Sorry it hurts so bad, but the strength to get through it is inside. You kinda got knocked off the horse again, but you know you already tried getting back on.
    [​IMG]
    You can do it!
     
  24. Team503

    Team503 Guest

    Yep. Or better yet, quit being blind, and realize that Stephen (the toy's ex) is going through it too. Go hang out with him and share your misery.

    Pain shared is pain halved.
     
  25. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    I soooo thought you said sympathy fuck :mamoru:
     

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