Men are pigs, right - but can we help it?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Vector, Apr 7, 2008.

  1. Vector

    Vector New Member

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    I'm still pretty new so my apologies if the basic subject matter here is a repost. I'm sure there'll be plenty of TLDR responses, but I tried hard to make it worth your time:

    This weekend my wife and I were at a party. At one point she was talking to two of our closest guy friends -- and I mean two of the best, must trustworthy, faithful people we know.

    What she had wandered in on was a typical guy conversation in the midst of alcohol. They were discussing how men are instinctively attracted to...well, everything hot. Always gawking as inconspicuously as possible, and wondering "what she'd be like..." (I said "attracted to" -- not cheating with). My friends' arguments were that men are just wired that way. One gave an example that took place when he brought a really hot date to a buddy's house: this buddy - right in front of his wife - randomly smacked my friend's hot date on the ass while she was down on her knees playing with his kids. When this guy was asked by his wife what the hell he was thinking(?!?!?), he looked dumbfounded, almost like he didn't even realize what he had just done. Again...wired that way.

    The argument further continued back to the stone age where men basically had three purposes....

    1.) Eat if you can. If not, find something to eat
    2.) Run from shit with big teeth or claws
    3.) Fuck anything that moves to propagate the species

    ...and that the current "wiring" of men was instinctively there today, just leftover. (Women, by contrast, were the protective, nurturing ones)

    My wife was stunned. Drunk or not, these words were coming from trusted folks, and she almost instantly lost faith in men. To the point that 36 hours later, she's still losing sleep. I did my best to console her without lying (I would never cheat, but sure, I'm guilty of looking myself), but it all came down to the fact that she was so committed to me that she doesn't even feel that she was capable of being "like men." She wants to be SOO perfect that I wouldn't even want to look, and that just doesn't seem possible anymore. She even said "even though you're a good guy, you're still a guy."

    Is it possible that men just can't avoid being "pigs" to some extent?
    Is there anything a married dude can do or say to argue the opposite (that isn't a lie)?
     
  2. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

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    I guess it all goes down to our DNA codes. We can't help but be what we are.
    Women and men are different. I thought everybody was aware of it.
     
  3. Vector

    Vector New Member

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    Oh, I forgot a couple more things that got brought up ... more supporting evidence that was thrown out about the male instinct still lingering:

    - There are like 50 female strip clubs to every 1 decent male one - and it turns out that 1 male one is mostly a gay bar
    - There's no (popular) equivalent to Hooters restaurant
    - Playboy magazine's insane popularity (versus pretty much anything with guys in it)
    - Young women's cosmetic surgeries outnumber young men's BIG time (no, I don't have exact numbers, but look around at all the artificial rudeness)
    - a bunch more points that were made that I'm not remembering right now - but they're out there
     
  4. stormywaters

    stormywaters Tornadoes are just wind...

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    I think society pushes that stereotype on young men. Men can control themselves just as well as women. Now if society made it not ok for men to ogle at women and make being a "player" unacceptable I think we would not have this problem.
     
  5. Dio Seijuro

    Dio Seijuro New Member

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    Yeah second the opinion that your wife sounds unusually naive.
     
  6. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    of course we want to fuck hot women

    otherwise, why would we have anything to do with them?
     
  7. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    We're not pigs. We're men. And women might have problems with certain things we do (hence the pig term), but we must be doing something right to have gotten this far.
     
  8. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    We would have a bigger problem... the beginning of the end of man kind.
     
  9. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    men and women both like to look... wheres the harm in that?
     
  10. Vector

    Vector New Member

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    She's 26, and only had one really serious relationship before meeting me (we met when she was 22). Now don't get me wrong, she was...um, quite experimental...in college. But I don't think there was much love involved except with that one other guy.

    When it comes to me, on the other hand, I think she just wants to believe that I could be "perfect" or whatever. Her upbringing was in a semi-rural setting with her closest parent a devout Christian: between her childhood and her college experiences I think what she turned into was the poster child of monogamy/morals but with a large dash of horniness while we're alone -- best case scenario for a wife, IMO. I, however, did not have that sort of upbringing, and I'm not perfect by any means. Like I say, sure, I look (see first post). I do treat her really, really well -- she usually even likens our relationship to a fairy tale and our friends constantly razz us to cut the lovey dovey shit. One way or another, everything still feels new after more than 4 years and I can say confidently that, even though she's not the only female capable of creating a rise in my pants, I know I'd never love or want to be married to another woman.

    Maybe I've just given her some other reasons to overreact though, and I just don't understand them.
     
  11. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I'd say that's more acceptable than the the criticism of all women being whores, proven by girls getting drunk and cheating on their boyfriends, then blaming it on being drunk so it didn't count. I mean at least guys after they've sobered up can admit they know what they did was wrong and that it actually happened.
     
  12. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    yeah, what is it with women? when they do act badly, there is always an excuse. always a reason why they aren't responsible for what they have done. always someone else to blame.
     
  13. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    sarcasm or 4 real?
     
  14. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    Oh please, men lie too.
     
  15. Dio Seijuro

    Dio Seijuro New Member

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    .

    A woman who's not satisfied with that, but wants their men to also become biologically incapable of being attracted to other women are not only annoying, but also asking for unhappiness because they are asking for something that a man cannot control and has nothing to do with love.
     
  16. squid

    squid braap

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    I have a hard time women are not like that too.

    The sexes are different in that we have different concentrations of hormones, but underneath we're all human.
     
  17. Juan Valdez

    Juan Valdez Finest Cofee in the world

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    I disagree much like the ass-slaper in threadstarter's story there have been numerous occasions where instincts have over-ridden my common sense. I am by no means a player and have never nor do I plan to cheat on my SO, but I still look when a hot girl walks by, surf pron, and will hit up a strip club if my funds will allow.

    Men controlling ourselves is not acting on those desires.
     
  18. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    for real. Im not commenting on the frequency or likelyhood of bad behavior, because i think both men and women act badly. I just think that it is a salient point that a woman who is acting like a "pig" is much less likely to take responsibility for her own bad behavior then a man is.

    we hear it here all the time "Im a jerk, i cheated on my gf. the girl was hot, couldnt help myself." vs "my boyfriend doesn't pay enough attention to me, and i was drunk, and the bad bad guy said all the right things..."
     
  19. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    interesting, but too easily misogynistic to accept off the bat.. too easily see-what-you-want-to-see to be a useful generalization. it could even be dangerous to think this way because of the reality-projection effect.

    best to go by the individual, i think.
     
  20. Vector

    Vector New Member

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    Good point dude...this post was not meant to be a question of control. Anybody without mental issues can (mostly) control themselves.

    It is, in contrast, about instinct and deep-rooted want. What my wife is saying (and the evidence seems to support -- 3rd post in thread) is that ALL men are innately always horny and wanting, and women just...aren't.
     
  21. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    well. that is absolute bullshit. the woman i'm in love with right now will always see attractive people as attractive. as will i.

    you could argue that maybe my lover just hasn't found the right guy/girl yet, the one who gives her tunnel vision. but you could say the equivalent about me... so it's not about gender.
     
  22. Juan Valdez

    Juan Valdez Finest Cofee in the world

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    This should be obvious to anybody who is married/lives with a girl.
     
  23. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    so many stupid generalizations, people are different, view each one on an individual basis. there's literally NO benefit to guessing what someone will be like beforehand when it's only true 75% of the time, and the detriment is that because of your guess, it will be 100% true, due to projection.
     
  24. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    Its natural to look and lust. Both for men AND woman, though I do think men are more predisposed to do so.
     
  25. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :werd:

    It's one of the eleven urban myths being "wisely" spread in this thread. This myth is particularly shitty because it makes a lot of girls insecure when their man is not in the mood (as will happen at some point).

    I remember my ex-gf wanted to do it, I wasn't in the mood, she felt terrible. Pretty confident girl too, in most respects.
     

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