I feel like I've gone crazy. I've fallen into some sort of depression. I wish I could turn to religion, it would give me so much comfort. To know that life is just a tiny speck in the midst of infinity gives me so much despair. It makes these small years and day-to-day actions seem so meaningless and hopeless, to have it wiped away. The thought of being dead and not being able to feel or think hurts me so deeply. I want life. Maybe this is all some cruel biological joke. My ego wanting to save itself. I wish I could be ignorant of the whole damn truth. How can one cope.