SRS Meditation on Emptiness as it Pertains to my Penis

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Peyomp, Jan 30, 2006.

  1. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Messages:
    14,017
    Likes Received:
    0
    Images of happy lives on screen set off memories unwanted of aspirations unachieved. Long chains of neurons dormant and unpotentiated reawaken visions of my future that never came to pass, that will never come to pass. Where do you see yourself in 5 years, and how has that changed over the last 5, arcing and waning and oscillating and drifting, the Fourier decomposition of which reveals threads of desire, of love, of fear each with its own frequency delightful or terrible. Unsafe sex. Vows unspoken. Hearts unbroken. Or are they ever really?

    The best way to monitor my mood is to query my opinion of my erect penis, as I look down at it. If I'm sad, it is small. If I am happy, it is big. If I am realistic, it is in between. But how often is that? So seldom do we embrace reality, even attempt to hug its fleeting specter so scared are we of it. And why can't I write two paragraphs without mentioning my penis?

    There is a big blue incandescent globe atop the Hyatt in Atlanta, and at one time it was the tallest building in the city, proudly announcing progress and stature. My mother honeymooned there, with her first husband, before her and my father ever met. I kept looking at it last night and remembering that. Only now the Hyatt is dwarfed by other hotels, its dream replaced, and the only time spent in any of them by this generation of me was looking down on that globe from the Westin high above, my lover and I, neither married nor friends.

    How much of our happiness do we derive from other people? How much can we expect to? Einstein once said something to the effect that a person can only rely on others for so much happiness, and that the key to happiness was through work. Buddha, one of them, once said something to the effect that the distinction between self and non-self is an illusion, and that we are all one and that the cessation of suffering is equivalent to the objective perception of this oneness. Happiness is to be found when you realize that you are others, in this life and those past. If it came down to it, I think Einstein could kick Buddha Guatama's ass, in a "fair fight." The bald and emaciated Buddha taking the perpetually elderly Einstein by the hair and gouging at his eyes, the two of them struggling, gasping, Buddha's robe unwinding and buttons flying from Einsteins's vest, locked in angry embrace. Siddhartha finally felled by a swipe from Al's cane, screaming "The universe an illusion!?" and then pausing, horrified at what he has done, looking down at Buddha's crumpled frame, his Safron robe spread wide. He outweighed him two to one. The smart money was on Al from the start. My money was on Buddha, and I lost.

    Maybe some day I will achieve a healthy detachment. For now I am attached, and losing myself in work to make just a fraction of my five year vision come true. I only hope I can even remember what my vision was 5 years from now, and I hope it was the right one.
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2006
  2. Create

    Create :free at last:

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2006
    Messages:
    8,043
    Likes Received:
    2
    I'm laughing, crying, and feeling sympathetic to your sitaution all at the same time.

    Hey, can I steal some of that? I know a few people that'd get a big kick out of it.
     
  3. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2005
    Messages:
    1,047
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Land of Provincialism
    Peyomp Honey...Time to get laid.
     
  4. Create

    Create :free at last:

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2006
    Messages:
    8,043
    Likes Received:
    2
    Seriously.

    (Passages stolen without consent)
     
  5. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2005
    Messages:
    7,670
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    MA
    Wow you're smart :eek3:
     
  6. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Messages:
    14,017
    Likes Received:
    0
    August. I got laid in August. I keep meeting girls, but its always a drunken sex thing and I'm holding out.
     
  7. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Messages:
    14,017
    Likes Received:
    0
    Just credit Peyomp.
     
  8. Create

    Create :free at last:

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2006
    Messages:
    8,043
    Likes Received:
    2
    It was done. Thanks.

    August? You've got more discipline than I.
     
  9. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Messages:
    14,017
    Likes Received:
    0
    It actually went from sex 1.5 times a day for 3 months to none at all. Big adjustment.
     
  10. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Messages:
    14,017
    Likes Received:
    0
    She was 35, too ;)
     
  11. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2005
    Messages:
    970
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Arizona
  12. Create

    Create :free at last:

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2006
    Messages:
    8,043
    Likes Received:
    2
    Wow. Sounds very similar to my situation. I've been dry for a few months but I'm not quite a free man atm either.
     
  13. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    A little guidance on your spiritual travel could be usefull. We are all into this together, that is why someone elses happyness becomes your happyness. You see the universe acts as a reflecting mirror, whatever you cast on someone else (wether it be love,happyness,hatred,or anger) gets its karma casted back on you, making you either happy, or feeling like complete crap. Therefore the backbone definition in happyness is loving and helping others into becoming happy yourself.
     
  14. svetlanalemon

    svetlanalemon A little blood and vomit on the car seat...

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2006
    Messages:
    2,094
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    california
    that was very, very well-written, and i can empathize, relate, on so many levels.
     
  15. AO

    AO New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2005
    Messages:
    4,750
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    wyd
    "A human being is part of a whole, called by us the 'universe', a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affectation for a few people near us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

    "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

    -Albert Einstein

    I'd like to think that they would both stay silent when they meet.
     
  16. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Messages:
    14,017
    Likes Received:
    0
    Why the fuck you got to player hate?
     
  17. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2003
    Messages:
    7,347
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bay Area
    so many visuals
     
  18. svetlanalemon

    svetlanalemon A little blood and vomit on the car seat...

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2006
    Messages:
    2,094
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    california
    lol
     

Share This Page