me and my g/f. Not me, her, and him

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by amac88, Oct 24, 2007.

  1. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    So, about a year ago, this guy I know, Jerry, introduced me to this girl Ashley. We talked online for months, but during all that time, she always had a boyfriend. They were all abusive, and didnt care about her really at all. Then, about a month ago, her and I actually got together, and its been great so far. We both talk to Jerry still, but lately, hes pissed both of us off.

    He always asks me about her. He never talks about anything else, just how me and her are doing. He acts like he is trying to help us, but Ive repeatedly told him "Its me and her in this relationship, not me her and you." Still, he brings up questions like "Do you really love her?" "Would you leave if she got pregnant?" "What if she cheated?" "Would you cheat on her?" Im like no dude, I would never cheat on her, nor would I ever leave her. He is incredibly annoying.

    The other night, all 3 of us got in an AIM chat. He started joking around, saying that he had a secret. When she asked what it was, he was like "Ash, he is leaving you for me lol" we all laughed knowing it wasnt true. Then he goes "No seriously, hes leaving you for his ex." She took it seriously and began to cry about it. After assuring her that it wasnt true, she got pissed at him, as did I. We both took it very seriously, because her ex's really have done that. They pretended to love her, but then ended up leaving her.

    It seems like he is jealous, and me and my g/f had a long conversation on the phone last night about it. I think he wants us to break up, so he can get a chance with her. However, she told me "Hes a fuckin weirdo, I could never see him as my boyfriend, me and him would never have the connection that you and I do." This made me feel better, and I know she would never get with him, but still, he pisses me off, and Im afraid that he will end up messing up our relationship somehow. What can I do?
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I don't see how this is even a question :hsugh:....stop talking to this guy.
     
  3. Stev

    Stev Active Member

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    both of u stop talkin to the creep.

    /thread
     
  4. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    How do I get her to stop without sounding like im trlling her who she cant talk to? Should I just be like, "I dont think either of us should talk to him anymore?"
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Talk to your gf, and tell her you don't feel comfortable having him as a friend anymore. Make sure to mention the fact that he tried to break you guys up...anyone who does that should automatically lose your friendship.

    Make sure to mention that you don't think he is good for either of you...she has said he is a weirdo, and you already know he wants to break up the relationship.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    First of all, you need to stop being a pushover. I remember your thread from not too long ago. You've been dating this girl for a month, you're both really young and you're terrified to upset her in any way for fear she will leave you. You can't live your life like this and especially expect your relationship to ever follow that pattern.

    Tell her the bullshit he tells you, that on top of the shit he pulled in the AIM chat alone should make her not want to talk to him anymore. If she does then maybe she knows he likes her and likes the attention.
     
  7. trudat

    trudat cervPun

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    he sounds like a great guy. Have someone destroy him?
     
  8. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    If both you and your gf see this guy as a problem, the solution is pretty easy.
     
  9. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    Tell her that you're afraid of the possible damage his lies and immature behavior could do to the relationship and you think that the two of you deserve better friends than that.
     
  10. Stev

    Stev Active Member

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    If she wont stop talking to him after the BS, and especially after that lil stunt, there is more going on behind the scenes than you know about.
     
  11. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    Ive told her everything hes told me, and that Im not gonna talk to him anymore.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    So this is already settled then? Or you are just hoping she wont talk to him but too timid to say anything?
     
  13. City

    City Don't you know who I am?

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    Make a thread about it.
     
  14. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    word.

    and don't attack the guy (I don't mean physically) or you'll look insecure as hell

    tell him if that's his humor then that's fine, but it's immature and rude to try to get reaction like that out of her/you

    I had a friend who put me in a similar situation. Not with a girl but with something else. It was just so annoying it affected our relationship.

    I finally told him "you're affecting the way me and all our friends think about you. I think you're an awesome dude and want only the best for you, and think you should get a couple new healthy hobbies so you're not dependent on this one thing for validation and esteem"

    He might not have gotten new hobbies, but he backed off.

    As long as he knows you're not his enemy, and that you care about his well being, he's MUCH more inclined to listen to you.

    What won't work is if you say "back the fuck off". Saying that to an insecure dude who likes your girl is just asking for trouble.
     
  15. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I don't recommend physical violence either, however a face-to-face serious confrontation is in order imo.

    You need to look him in the eye and let him know that his behavior is unacceptable and if he intends to continue on with you and your girls' friendship, he has to knock that shit off.
     
  16. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    you know Im almost sorta having this same kind of issue right now. There's some dude at my GF's school that has constantly openly admitted his "desire" for her. I actually met this guy at a party he was throwing, my GF didnt think anything of it though. Turns out that I had left her side to use the head, and she came rushing back to me how she wanted to get out of there, becuase that guy was hitting on my GF and asking when she was goin to break up with me. His friends apparently were telling her that hes a much better guy for her then I am. I mean, wtf?

    She tells me she constantly get IM's from this guy, only starting with "so hows your relationship going? You still goin out with chris?"

    She blocked him, but he still trys. I got on at one point to confront him, I think I scared him cause he hasnt said a word since.

    On top of that, earlier in our relationship, her mom was actually trying to get my GF to dump me for this jerk off. I think it was because he had money, not to mention that weird ass last name...
     
  17. Hunt

    Hunt Active Member

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    jesus, that is terrible
     
  18. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    this is really intelligent advice......... good shit
     
  19. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Talk to him about it face to face.

    If he doesn't stop, then stop talking to him altogether.
    I am sure she will follow suit. If not, then she's not worth the impending drama.
     
  20. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Tell me about it :wtc:
     
  21. $shot

    $shot OT Supporter

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    i was in a similar situation a couple years back with my ex. the other guy wasn't as persistent as the one pursuing your gf, but it was definitely crossing the line. i was a bouncer at the time and spotted him one night on the floor i was working on (this level of the bar was dark and only played rap). he at one point went into the bathroom in a narrow hallway and i just stood out and waited for him. i didn't come off aggressive at all, just told him he needs to back off the woman etc etc. he quickly kept saying things like "omg bro i didn't know about you guys" "i didn't mean to do this or that." little did he know i knew everything he had done/said to her. after the short talk i don't think he talked to her for the rest of our miserable relationship.


    sure was funny seeing him panic though :mamoru:
     

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