MMA Mayhem interview

Discussion in 'OT Bar' started by Atmosphere, Dec 13, 2005.

  1. Atmosphere

    Atmosphere PURPLE DREAM

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    christ, he's so fucking random :rofl:



    Jason 'Mayhem' Miller was recently interviewed by the ADCC newssite. Here's what Miller had to say:

    Interviewer: Jason, can you comment about your contract and what it means for a company like Icon to commit to you with such a deal?

    Miller: I have a contract? What kind of contract? Is this like a 24-hour fitness contract where they pressure you into signing up for 4 years, then you have to give your bank account information and then when you only go to the gym for one week, you still have to spend 40 bucks a month that you could be spending on twinkies? Icon is a fine, fine wife, and we make sweet love together. I don't fear commitment. I know she won't cheat on me, and she let's me have dirty nasty love with my mistresses whenever I feel the need. She even slaps me on the fanny and gives me words of encouragement from time to time. Comment made.

    Interviewer: Is this contract exclusive to just Hawaii and can you fight in the UFC if the opportunity comes up?

    Miller: I can make sexy-time explosion if I want.

    Interviewer: Your next opponent, Robbie Lawler also received a similar contract, what do you feel about Icon signing a fighter of his quality?

    Miller: Good for him. I hope we all get rich and buy yachts, so I can race him around the world in 80 days and beat him in that competition also. I hope that midway through the race we hop off of the yachts in Italy and race Ferraris through the arctic tundra of Russia, into outer Mongolia, and cross the Bering Strait on 10,000 dollar kayaks, like the native Americans did. I hope that me and Robbie can pool our money and buy world peace, and stop hunger in Africa.

    Interviewer: What is your opinion and assessment of Robbie Lawler as a fighter?

    Miller: Robbie Lawler is my favorite fighter besides my dad.

    Interviewer: The bell ring and your standing across from Robbie Lawler. What happens next?

    Miller: He'll probably try to pop the pins on his hand grenades.

    Interviewer: When you fought in the UFC, you fought at 170 pounds, is 185 better suited for you and do you think you could ever make 170 pounds again?

    Miller: Yes, if I stopped eating. But being a white Ethiopian is difficult in America. It is still very segregated throughout most of the United States, and when I'm 170 the Ethiopians think I'm too white, and the whiteys think I'm too skinny. So I choose to hate them all. I can't run marathons or play golf anyway.

    Interviewer: Your last loss was in the UFC to Georges St. Pierre (GSP) at 170 pounds. Looking back on your old division in the UFC and with the additions of BJ. Penn, who do you think will rule that division?

    Miller: Do you not watch the UFC? I think that GSP is gonna break a few more hearts in 2006. The 170-pound division is gonna go off this year. It'll be fun watching, I hope I'm at every fight, but it's almost like everyone else is playing kickball, and you have to do homework in the dugout- well not a real dugout just one of those benches where the team has to sit waiting to 'bat'. They don't have dugouts in elementary school.

    Interviewer: You have been beating up on some of Hawaii's favorite sons, BJ Penn a native of Hawaii has been rumored to move up to 185 pounds if he wins the 170 pound title. How would a fight between you and him go?

    Miller: It would be a pasty white monkey beating on a cute little fritter in a battle of pineapple proportions. I hope BJ pisses in Dana's cornflakes so that we can make it happen in Hawaii.

    Interviewer: Do you get noticed when you're in Hawaii and how have the Hawaiian fans treated you?

    Miller: I never get noticed. People don't even know whom I is. Yes I said 'whom I is' it sounds cool. Just say it aloud to yourself. I get mad love from the fans, and I'm FRICKEN WHITE and have a RED STRIPE DOWN THE RIGHT SIDE OF MY HEAD. Do you think I get noticed? The 75 year old lady buying depends at Longs drugstore knows whom I is. Icon is blowing up like your sister in college. I'm right there with them.

    Interviewer: In a perfect world, who would Jason Miller like to fight?

    Miller: Myself. Except wearing the opposite color clothes like in Street Fighter II or an all shadow me, like in Double Dragon. I think it would be an exciting fight, because neither of us would quit, and have awesome entrances. Either that, or 11 naked Maxim models in a pit of oil.

    Interviewer: What can we expect from you in the year 2006?

    Miller: Expect the unexpected. And 'Undefeatment', a new fragrance, by Mayhem Miller

    Interviewer: Anything to say to your fans and sponsors.

    Miller: I don't have any fans. I have Mayhem Monkeys, and I say everything they need to hear on www.mayhemmiller.com FUCK MY SPONSORS. They don't do anything for me except give me money so I can eat, train, and buy things I don't need. I wish Rockstar Energy Drink would give me 200 cases of it a month so I have clean water to bathe in, and Evol Nutrition would stop making it easier to get buff, and Brit's Autobody would get me a tonneuo cover for my truck. And don't even get me started on Rent Samson.. may they burn in the depths of hell for what they have done to me, bastards. I'd also like to take this opportunity to tell that hot chick I was dancing with on Halloween that even though I don't remember your name, I remember that you were a prison guard, and I was an aerobics instructor, and I think we had a magical moment on the dance floor, right before they played the 'Lady Lumps' song.
     
  2. brolli

    brolli OT Supporter

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    oh my goodness, that was ridiculous. Was this an online interview?
     
  3. zxcv

    zxcv New Member

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  4. aaaaaa

    aaaaaa OT Supporter

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  5. Yardsale

    Yardsale OT Supporter

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    pure unadulterated genius :rofl:

    and to think this is the same man that punches people's faces in
     
  6. Titus

    Titus New Member

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    mayhem is def. one of my favorites.. i really do think he is insane!
     
  7. DOHChi

    DOHChi New Member

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    mother fucker still wont give me a monkey number :mad:

    but he still is one of my favoirtes
     
  8. Atmosphere

    Atmosphere PURPLE DREAM

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    how do you get a monkey number? :eek3:
     
  9. DOHChi

    DOHChi New Member

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    pretty much be on myspace. you can choose from the followings

    post bulletin, and try to get your friends to add him.

    show dedication/appreciation/nuthugger for him, by posting or making threads about him on forums and send him links. also he has to be in your top 8

    if you can convince a person on myspace with 10,000 friends to have him in their top 8.

    its pretty much just having love for him. i dont know how to get a number outside of myspace, unless if you meet him in real life
     
  10. Intellex

    Intellex Dogs love me cause I'm crazy sniffable OT Supporter

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    :werd:

    It's a beautiful beautiful thing

    :bowrofl:
     

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