SRS Maybe I should just accept the fact that there's nobody out there for me.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by GlassJoe, Jun 23, 2005.

  1. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    I've come to the conclusion that there is not a decent girl on this planet that is or will ever be attracted to me.

    I'd go into detail, but I'm too depressed to type anymore.
     
  2. Fushk14

    Fushk14 Guest

    Not with that attitude there wont. You need to be confident in the fact that you can be on your own. WHat Ive learned is this: if you learn to enjoy life and respect yourself and those around you. It will reflect positively and people (girls) will be attracted to you.

    also take care of yourself as well. Act like you like you for you
     
  3. Fucker

    Fucker out of the fast lane, bitches

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    Dude, how old are you, 20? Way waaaaaay to young for that shit. Everyone has dry spells (except me, I get laid all the time) but regular people have dry spells. Suck it up and read a book or something. Nobody likes a pussyhurt whiny bitch.
     
  4. thepornokid

    thepornokid New Member

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    Wrong forum you worthless piece of shit. :ugh:
     
  5. PaZzEsCo

    PaZzEsCo New Member

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    There's someone out there for you, you just haven't found her yet. I think everyone goes through that thought that they're going to be alone and there isn't a decent person for them. I just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years recently and I've had to get back into the swing of dating. All I've been meeting are assholes!! So I know EXACTLY how you feel about that decent person thing because I've been wondering the same thing.
     
  6. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    You won't find the perfect person. The only thing you can do is settle. If you're really lonely, maybe look for a divorced woman :hsd:
     
  7. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    I'm not looking for the perfect woman, but every woman I meet seems to be looking for the perfect man.
     
  8. Your depression and negativity will pass. You're clearly pushing too hard for something to rippen that hasn't even been planted yet. focus on enjoying your own life, and on setting goals and pleasing yourself. It is important to draw a woman into your world - not get together with someone so you can be drawn into theirs because you haven't one of your own.

    So, patience grasshopper.
     
  9. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You assume that "YOU" will be the same, and that "no decent woman" would be interested in you. Well, the current you anyways.

    You know, it is possible to become more than you were. You're still you, you're not betraying the core of you, you're not selling out in anyway.

    You're just developing yourself, polishing your social skills, having fun and interesting hobbies -- not to get chicks, but because they're fun and interesting. They also have the side effect of pushing you to meet people, some of whom will be girls.

    Unless your hobby is playing computer games in your basement, I grant you that probably won't help much.

    Why not learn to play tennis? Or join the cricket club. How about joining an astronomy club?

    I don't know how old you are, so I'm guessing rather than giving you age-appropriate suggestions, but you get the general idea.


    So imagine a future self, one that's having fun, acquired a wider circle of like-minded friends. You're at ease and comfortable around these people. You laugh and enjoy their company, and they, yours. One of them, a girl, is pretty cool, she likes XYZ (i.e. whatever) just like you.

    She seems like just one of the guys, and you don't feel weird or awkward around her. You guys even start hanging around outside of the group thing. hang out some more.

    One day, you lean over and kiss her. She kisses back. Hard. Hey... wait a second.
    Did you just get a girlfriend? One that you think is totally fun and easy to be around? Yup, I think you just did...

    It really can be as simple as that. Don't go looking for a girl. Arrange the other parts of your life to be fun and interesting, and a girl will literally fall into your lap.
     

  10. In other words, take Metallic Blue's advice. :o :kiss:
     
  11. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Mayhaps this will help you on the way

    '
    Things I like in guys:
    Intellegence - dont have to be brilliant, but prefer a guy with enough intellegence to find blowing up condom balloons abit imature and just wrong...
    Humor - sarcastic or clean humor I often enjoy, and anyone that can make me smile I always have a tendency of liking.
    Uniqueness - someone with distinct qualities is always nice, cant really explain fully...
    Hygene - someone clean is definately good... nothing turns a person off worse than walking up to someone and being distracted from the person wondering what could be crawling through their hair or what that pungent smell is.
    Active - someone who has stuff to talk about is always fun, instead of standing around in a awkward silence.
    Personality - easy going/shy/strong willed/confident
    guys a year younger than me, same age as me, or a max of 2 years older than me I prefer.
    etc...

    Things I dislike/turn me away from:
    Guys that classify girls in two ways - "The hot chicks" and "The fat chicks" ...
    Guys that are just out for a sex hunt
    Guys that break promises
    Over religous/Convinced their thinking is the only right way for the world
    etc...
    '

    hope it helps.
     
  12. TXLBS

    TXLBS New Member

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    Thats really really good advice. I used to feel just like you, and while the girl hasn't fell in my lap yet, things are definately headed in the right direction. It feels good taking charge of your life and turning yourself into the 'you' that you want to be.
     
  13. Alternative

    Alternative Guest

    You have to wait for the females to grow up. Then you can go meet one based on your interests.

    What do you like doing? Life passion? Find a girl there. One with reason. It will come in time.
     
  14. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Yeah, it's the same thing....I couldn't resist elaborating...
     
  15. Thank you for doing so. It helps draw out deeper components of the concept that may be lost in the over simplification.
     
  16. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    Maybe I should elaborate a little bit on my situation.

    I'm 24 years old, I'm 5' 5", and 170 lbs...and we all know how much women love a short, stocky guy. :rolleyes:

    I haven't been on a date since October or 2003 and my longest "relationship" (if you can even call it that) lasted about 18 days.

    I moved to the Beaumont/Port Arthur area of Texas about 2 years ago and practically everyone I know here are just older married couples. All of my other friends are married or are in extremely committed relationships.

    Girls don't even look twice at me, I can't seem to meet anyone no matter where I go, and the best my friends could do as far as finding someone to try and fix me up with is a girl who just graduated high school last month.

    I'm not looking for a wife or anything right now, but I'm just like everyone else and I would like a little companionship every now and then. I wish I could just block out my feelings and quit trying.
     
  17. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    nope, you're wrong...the elaboration didn't help me one bit. i already knew all that.

    stop feeling so down on yourself. if you think that having a girlfriend is going to make you happy, you've got another thing coming. happiness starts with YOU, buddy! you have to choose if you're going to stay "down in the dumps" or if you're going to work on getting a better attitude.
     
  18. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    true story
     
  19. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Chica is 100%. If you can turn your attitude around, your shortness & stockyness will become mostly irrelevant. Obviously, you're not going to land Jennifer Love Hewitt (just a random example). But then neither is 99% of the people you know.

    So...so what? There are plenty of great, intelligent, attractive, sexy and fun women for whom 5'5" is no problem, considering the guy is also really funny, and good times, and smart, etc. etc. So clearly there is no shortage of target women for you, regardless of your height.

    Come on dude, you're 5'5". You're not Danny Devito or Minime or anything. You're just posting those extra details to rationalise or justify why it's so hard for you. To avoid working on yourself. But that's what it's going to take.

    If you're telling us, well, I want to be EXACTLY the same person and just help me find women...well it doesn't work that way. We can help you work on yourself, and its mostly the INNER you that counts here, and then women (that you want!) will start to show up.

    Otherwise, no women (or women you don't want) will be the de facto norm for you...
     
  20. That's the truth.
     
  21. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Oh and one more thing.

    You describe yourself as heavy, down-in-the-dumps, lonely, and because of your extended period of being unhappily single, quite possibly not the most cheerful or welcoming person around.

    Would you gravitate to a girl that was like that? So when you say that girls don't give you a second look, I GUARANTEE you that 90% of that is because of the inner you.

    Your slouched defeated body posture, your unhappy vibe, these things scream out "leave me alone".
    They do not signal "I'm happy and fun and having a great time!! wanna join me?"

    The beauty of this is that although you can't do much about your height, you don't need to. You only need to work on the inner you, which IS possible to change.
     
  22. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    absolutely 100% true. you could be dating Angelina Jolie right now and it wouldn't make you feel any better. find a way to get yourself out of where you are now and find happiness. once you do this, getting a girlfriend will be easy. good luck :bigthumb:
     
  23. hom3lesshom3boy

    hom3lesshom3boy New Member

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    How about not letting women be the main focus of your life and concentrating on other things.

    You don't NEED a SO, do you? They're a waste of time, waste of money.
     
  24. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    I'm actually not this whiny and emo IRL. It's just that sometimes the lonliness gets to me and venting in the asylum helps me to feel a little better. :hs:
     
  25. Nosmas

    Nosmas New Member

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    Very true.

    The attitudes of women about men (and vice versa) have changed greatly in the past few decades. Women and men expect perfection in their mates. This is a root cause of the growing divorce rate. Compare this with 100 years ago, when the opposite was true: Women looked for security (a man with a skill, business). Men actually thought the perfect women could be nothing less than frigid.

    Perhaps you're luckier than you imagine. You don't wanna hook up with a woman who wants perfection.
     

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