Masturbation...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Kortiz-DZ, Jun 8, 2008.

  1. Kortiz-DZ

    Kortiz-DZ Resident Nigerian Lipper OT Supporter

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    Why am I not allowed to do this now?

    Ole girl has an issue with me playing with myself.

    She finds it gross and thinks that she is all that I need to be satisfied, however, whenever I'm ready to be satisfied...she's not always in the mood.

    So I have to put up with this bullshit.

    We live together - so I can close the door to our extra bedroom(where our computers are) or go take a shower....regardless, i get the cold shoulder if she finds out that I did anything.

    Just now she opened the door just to check in on me.

    It's fucking bullshit. I have a right to release...why the fuck can't she let me jack off and clear my head?
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2008
  2. fixthe fernback

    fixthe fernback New Member

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    sounds like you guys need to talk
     
  3. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    find out the root of this belief

    is it religious? [I hope not because you imply you've had sex, and I assume you are not married]

    is it for medical reasons? [There's nothing unhealthy about doing it with normalcy]

    moral reasons? [As moral as trying to manipulate your boyfriend and his hormones?]

    She honestly could be afraid that she's not the one you're thinking of when you do it, and so doing it brings you further away from her. Which isn't the case, because then you wouldn't be FANTASIZING about another person, you'd be doing it.
     
  4. Kortiz-DZ

    Kortiz-DZ Resident Nigerian Lipper OT Supporter

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    Exactly, she's getting butthurt because i'm jerking it to porno while i would rather be fucking her....but she's not in the mood so I have to torture myself?

    Fuck that business!
     
  5. DvBoard

    DvBoard New Member

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    Offer to fuck her first. If she says no tell her your going to go do it, and unless she'd rather get it, she can STFU. No reason so deny you just because she's not in the damn mood.
     
  6. Kortiz-DZ

    Kortiz-DZ Resident Nigerian Lipper OT Supporter

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    I did exactly that. I tried to get her in the mood, but she said she was tired.

    So I said, "Okay I'm going to go take care of it myself."

    Her reply was, "fine."

    I went into the computer room and closed the door but didn't get off. In 20 minutes I came out to see if she was less tired. She said not to come close to her (because she thought I had jacked off) and I replied that I had no done anything. Her next reply was that she was tired and her tummy hurt so I said to myself - fuck it. I closed the door and jacked off.

    She later came up to the door and opened it to see what I was doing in here.

    Now she's pissed because she knows I was jacking off.

    It's complete bullshit.
     
  7. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Opening the door and surprising you to try and catch you? :ugh: What a raging cunt.

    I hope for your sake you smarten up and ditch her but you probably won't.
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Instead of getting mad at her when she's not in the mood and whine "FINE, I'M GONNA GO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!" wah wah wah.

    Act like an adult. Sit her down and explain you are generally concerned because she no longer seems to want to have sex which leaves you frustrated. It's natural that you'd then want to turn to masturbating but you need to explain this to her without blaming her or trying to make her feel guilty.

    On top of that, STOP ASKING FOR SEX!

    You live together and are probably in a sex slump because you stick to the same routine. Instead of asking her to fuck why not sit next to her and start kissing her ears/neck and get her more in the mood without having to ask.
     
  9. low20

    low20 Member

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    shes jealous of your hand...let he know that sex is 10000x better than jerking off but sometimes u just gotta get it out of you and when shes not willing theres only one other option
     
  10. fray

    fray New Member

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    If she just thinks it's "dirty", you have a problem. If she's jealous of the porn/fantasies/etc. that you're jerking off to, that's not so bad.

    The jealousy will go away with time and understanding. You can probably talk your way through that if you try. If she just thinks it's gross or if she's just using it as manipulation, bail!!

    How is your sex life? Do you get it regularly, just not as often as you'd like, or does she never want it? You may need to talk and find out what's going with her if that's the case. But that still may not solve the masturbation problem.

    The thing that would bother me most is not so much that she's bothered by it (which is a little weird, but possibly forgivable), but that she's upset by it even if she doesn't really know it's going on. It'd be different if you were doing it in bed next to her, or one the computer while she was in the same room, or some other creepy way (like my ex used to do). Of course, even in my situation, the masturbation was not the only issue.
     
  11. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    +1.

    That is ridiculous. Is this a girl your really want to spend your life with? She sounds like a nut case. You really need to talk to her and reason with her about why you're doing it. She probably has the perception that you're doing it because you WANT to, and she's not good enough. Let her know why, and let her know how it is a lot harder for a man not to do it than a woman.

    Beer is right though. You need to stop asking for sex and crying about it when you don't get it. You're giving her power in more ways than one.
    Switch things up, do something different, and seduce her. If she doesn't intercept, there's something wrong.

    Good luck man!
     
  12. bigb14

    bigb14 New Member

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    while i don't understand why your gf would have problems with you maturbating, girls having problems with porn is quite common. offer to masturbate w/o porno... maybe you'll get some leeway
     
  13. ustfdes

    ustfdes LPC ID: 20394

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    my wife has no problem with me reverting to masturbation when she's not in the mood. But as beer mentioned....we used to be in a sexual slump because of the normal routine...and we would just ask each other for sex, etc....

    now i try and do more to seduce her, rather than go about it as if it's 'business as usual'.....sometimes she receives it well, and other times she just gets aggravated with me because she 'just wants to sleep and i picked a bad time'

    oh well. be a man and have a talk with her about it all....i you aren't allowed to jack off, she has more problems than i would concern myself with. lol. (oh, and +1 on the whole porn issue, maybe she wants you thinking of only her...so offer to video tape you guys having sex and jacking off to it. :) )
     
  14. Mr. Bungle

    Mr. Bungle *lube'n up the shock paddles*

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    immaturity...

    she may think you do it to much (porn addiction...)

    She wonders why you don't out in the extra effort to get her in the mood.
     
  15. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    She's just trying to control you. If she knows you can satisfy yourself, that makes her have less value to you. She might be that type to stop having sex with her husband after she gets married
     
  16. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    My husband can never use the "well you weren't in the mood" excuse ... I've never turned him down before, but he's had to turn me down due to being exhausted from work :rofl:

    I admit I didn't like him jerking it too much either - since it would be 'lesbians', or just some other girl taking care of herself in pictures. Especially since I was (and still am) ALWAYS in the mood. He owned up to it if he did it, (and the fact that it was some type of porn online, instead of all the pictures he wanted to have of me). Then almost 2 years ago he said there wasn't a point to it anymore, since I'm always down for sex of any kind (intercourse, oral, etc), and he doesn't need to do both. Likes to keep the wifey's sexual needs satisfied when it helps satisfy him too.

    When we lived 3 hours away, it didn't matter one damn bit. Only because I wasn't here and he wasn't up in NC with me - had to have some type of release, generally brought on by dirty talk of what we'd do when we saw each other again.

    Maybe you need to sit down with your gf and talk about it. We sat down and talked about it and came to our own "agreement" (not the perfect word, but you know what I mean). Everything has been just dandy - no one is getting mad or upset at the other one.
     
  17. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I mean this nicely...but really, what's stopping you from doing it? What is she going to do, continue to not have sex with you?

    And actually, no, you don't have to put up with that bullshit. You're only allowing her to make you put up with it.
     
  18. Kortiz-DZ

    Kortiz-DZ Resident Nigerian Lipper OT Supporter

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    That's just it - I don't typically ever have to ask for it. I don't beg because I don't have to beg. It's not me whining either....I don't look at her in disgust and tell her what i'm about to go do....I just resign myself and get up to leave telling her I'll take care of it.

    Hell we had sex yesterday - and she initiated it.

    We aren't in a slump, but the idea that I can't jerk it whenever she isn't ready and willing is retarded.

    There have been occasions where I was too tired to do anything. Usually after a really long day.

    Also, she doesn't masturbate....I've tried to get her to do it in front of me as foreplay. She doesn't find it attractive or sexy at all...I don't know what her hang up about it is.
     
  19. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Again, as I said...what's really stopping you? If you need/want to masturbate, and it is an appropriate place (your home, in private, etc), then just do it. It's your body, you can do what you want...if she throws a hissy fit or feels disrespected, or even goes so far as to threaten you with a breakup or what not, then you have found out that she is not a good gf.

    I mean seriously...I know I'm stubborn and somewhat self-centered, but you're acting like you literally CAN'T masturbate. You can. What's she going to do, shoot you?
     
  20. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well that solves it, she's just immature and insecure about masturbation.

    How old is she BTW?
     
  21. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    If a chick didn't want me to jerk it she better be ready and willing whenever I am.
     
  22. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Haven't had time to read the whole thread, but I'll chime in

    If she decides you can't masturbate, she is accepting sole responsibility for you getting off. So she will never be able to turn you down or "have a headache" or whatever.

    So obviously that won't work.

    Bottom line, its your body and none of her business. Simple as that. Her jealousy is not your problem (or at least you shouldn't allow it to be).
     
  23. ASoT

    ASoT New Member

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    She sounds very immature and childish, she needs to grow up. It's perfectly natural to beat off while in a relationship.
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd:

    I learned a long time ago that porn and masturbation are fine, as long as it's not in excess. My bf knows I am literally always up for it so we both only do it when we are apart :dunno:

    The other night we were chatting on the phone later and night and all of a sudden I heard the sounds of his computer starting and I burst out laughing and go "oooo, someone's about to watch some porn!"
     
  25. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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    and you live together? if so :rofl: for you not being able to satisfy your own gf to the point she needs to get herself off and talk about it.
     

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