Masturbation vs. Sex

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by magik, Oct 9, 2007.

  1. magik

    magik New Member

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    I've been noticing this problem ever since I started having sex, I guess since it's been going on so long I'm wondering if anyone else has this problem as well ...

    I watch porn constantly, I probably masturbate on average 1-4 times a day, sometimes it's been around 10. I love sex, I think it's wonderful especially since I've figured out how to get my orgasm, but for some reason it seems that I am never in the mood for sex.

    My boyfriend will initiate or ask for sex and usually I'm not into it, a lot of th time I give in just to shut him up, but for the most part I can't get wet or into it until we're already in the middle of things.

    Sometimes I even find myself sneaking away to watch porn before we're supposed to have sex so I can "get ready". Is it fucked up that I enjoy porn better than actual sex?
     
  2. jones21

    jones21 Uranium Member

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    post your pic for the answer
     
  3. magik

    magik New Member

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    What's that got to do with anything? lol.
     
  4. jones21

    jones21 Uranium Member

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    it's a common courtesy on this forum if you want good advice. hold up a penny too so i know it's you
     
  5. magik

    magik New Member

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    Can't say I have a penny, but:

    [​IMG]
     
  6. jones21

    jones21 Uranium Member

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    alright well, are you sure you still like this guy?
     
  7. jones21

    jones21 Uranium Member

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    i have to go so i'll bump later
     
  8. magik

    magik New Member

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    Very much so, we're planning on getting married. I have had this problem with every guy I've been with. I don't know what the deal is with me lol.
     
  9. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    you may just need more foreplay, maybe more visual and mental stimulation. have you asked him to maybe put on more opf a show for you?
     
  10. magik

    magik New Member

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    That could be a big part of it, we've been together for about a year now and slowly the foreplay has become just about obsolete. It started off good because I chose not to have sex with him for quite a while, so I was always really into it all. I guess I could easily just ask him to rekindle the foreplay to help me out, not only does it seem to help me get into the mood but then it doesn't hurt/take forever to work it on in there.
     
  11. Ferrari430

    Ferrari430 New Member

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    If you stop masturbating, you will get horny as fuck. I don't think you'll be turning your bf down much if he asks for sex when your craving for an orgasm. If you need sex so much, initiate with your boyfriend, i'm sure he wont mind haha
     
  12. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    Have you ever tried watching porn together? I cant imagine a guy that would veto this idea (though I'm sure there are some out there) and since you know you like it anyway, it might be a good way to heat things up.
     
  13. magik

    magik New Member

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    I've gone weeks without masturbating thinking it would help, but it really didn't. I would be horny all day but when it came time to have sex I just wasn't into it.
     
  14. magik

    magik New Member

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    We did it once, I also thought it might work because we both like porn. But he ended up getting kind of irritated that I was focusing on the porn and moving him so I could see the tv lol.

    I don't know what my problem is, it's just way more sexually exciting for me to watch sex than to have it. Most of the time when I orgasm it's because I'm picturing watching us having sex. We've also tried taping it but, I can never watch it afterwards, I get really embarrassing seeing myself on tape. I can't win!
     
  15. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    Ask him for more foreplay. In fact make sex the LAST and least imprtant part of it all to get you riled up and wanting.
     
  16. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I think you've just found that you really enjoy watching sex. Nothing wrong with that, everyone gets off on different things.

    You might not be that compatible with your boyfriend, sexually that is. He might be a great guy and you might have a lot of things in common but you might be totally incompatible sexually.

    I would not get married till you can identify why you aren't getting more excited by your b/f. That to me would be a HUGE red flag.
     
  17. magik

    magik New Member

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    I think we're quite sexually compatible. He is the first man that I've actually had sex with and achieved an orgasm with, not to mention I orgasm pretty much every time we have sex.

    I wouldn't say it's a "huge red flag" because I'm not really worried that it's because of him since I've had this problem with every man I've been with.
     
  18. Shadoxity

    Shadoxity New Member

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    sure u dont like girls? lol...

    maybe you are stressing about it, or being worried or something so u cant get in the mood.

    try relaxing with a bubble bath with candles together, and just be close together, and after the bath, go into bed with a dimly lit mood, and massage eachother and get comfortable and take things from there :) should help
     
  19. magik

    magik New Member

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    About the girls thing ... you don't know how many times I've asked myself this. I am WAY more turned on by girls, but I definitely love the dick.

    I'm pretty shy about my body, we've tried taking a bath together and the entire time I was covering myself with washcloths or holding myself. Massages might work though, I'll give that a whirl.
     
  20. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    you need to start getting comfy with yout body and being naked with him. I can't fathom wanting to marry some one that I felt uncomfortabl being naked with.
     
  21. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    maybe you're bisexual?
    Aww that's too bad. You're entirely too hot to be worried about your body....you look fantastic.
     
  22. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    :werd: seriously, chicks like her make me want to go homicidal.
     
  23. Shadoxity

    Shadoxity New Member

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    This would be your issue then, you are too concerned about how you are looking, and not able to relax and enjoy the sex!
    You are using to much brain power :p get comfortable being around ur bf, i bet he loves your body, you need to get comfortable, just get him to give you a massage, naked, and close your eyes, put some relaxing music on, lie there naked and let him massage you and do not focus on that you are naked, just enjoy the moment.

    Good luck to you :)
     
  24. eightvalve

    eightvalve Reformed Lurker Crew #1

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    You may not think its a huge red flag, but if you arent having sex and you get married, expect him to get it somewhere else.
     
  25. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    have you tried having sex with mirrors around so you can see him/yourself better? or at least positions where you get a good view of the penetration? that's usually a turn on for me...

    and omg stop masturbating so much! don't stop completely, but try to cut back at least to like once a day, or maybe masturbate a few times but not completely to orgasm so that you're really craving it when he gets home. when you masturbate, try to do it while fantasizing about HAVING SEX with him, not watching it or watching someone else have sex. maybe you can "train" yourself :dunno:
     

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