Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by M359, May 19, 2005.
Blocked! Damn corporate filter!
The tips for self-sucking is great!!!
Good stuff. Some of it is clearly bullshit, but funny nonetheless.
what idiot would do it with hot sauce?
and why would you masturbate with a curling iron that is plugged in...
i agree... some of these have to be bullshit
One can only hope that they're bullshit and people aren't really that stupid
Lets hear some of OT members stupid mistakes.
With chewing gum
One day I was chewing some Big League Chew gum. It felt so soft and gooey in my mouth that I decided to rub it on my dick. It was the worst decision I ever made! As I was rubbing it on my dick, the gum got caught on my pubes. I got in the shower and spent like an hour trying to get the stuff off. Then I finally decided just to cut my pubes off with some scissors. I had no pubes left.
the thought process that had to go into that is just astounding.
by the way... its masturbation...
One time I had a plug up my ass and was vibrating my clit... I came so hard I shot the plug out and it landed in my clean laundry that really sucked.
Oh yes they are.
Why you think everything comes with a warning label now?
I have done the curling iron one before when i was about 15, trying to rid myself of my "pesky" virginity. (I lived in a small town and alllllll my friends were whores by then, so i felt like the odd girl out )
It was off though. Im not sure how much i believe that the girl's curling iron cord stretched that far ...let alone her not noticing it was plugged in.
Not that this makes any excuse for her, but, is there not battery operated ones?
that was funny!
hmm... Well, when I was lil, my first bf and I were in one of our freaky moods and on a dare, he stuck a broomstick handle in me. That same day, I remember eating raman noodles from around his dick, although I do not remember the circumstances (we were in elementary school, so we were a lil foolish).
In high school PE, our sex ed teacher admitted that he used to use mayonnaise as lube during his masturbatory youth. On an unrelated note, that week I discovered a str8t friend was uncircumcised (I never realized what it was before the sex ed class). So, under the pretense of 'examining him for better and hands-on understanding', I jerked him off in a stall. Only, some of his spunk got on my pants and I didn't realize it and people thought that I was masturbating (rather than masturbating someone else).
In college, I purchased a travel butt plug for my trips from MD to NJ. Once, I got pulled over by a state trooper and the plug was in and on, with the cord on my lap. The trooper say it, and asked me about it--I told him the truth, as I was having an orgasm.
That led to more active use of this travel plug. Like, I'd be in my college housing and just have it in. Once, Ferron was talking to me and recognized the humming sound. I swear that his face not only dropped, but changed colors in disgust.
...you know, I always doubted my really belonging to the FS family, as I don't really get into a lot of the typical freaky stuff on a regular basis. Buuut reviewing my above post, I guess I fit right in.
to C5Load, BrokenHalo, CherryFire, and last but not least, CoCo
Don't have any intriguing stories like those.... yet!!!
@ the magnets!
I don't have any stories like that. My mom works in a hospital, so I've heard these stories forever. I learned early on to think things through before inserting anything into any orifice. I would have had to go to the hospital where she works if anything would have gone wrong. The worst thing I've ever done is get a little Icy Hot on me, but that's not really so bad anyway
i wish i could think of more... i know i have some...
oh, i remember one time when i still lived at home i was in the shower one morning with my handy waterproof vibe. its a little one and kinda looks like one of those things you wear around your neck at the beach that keeps your money and stuff dry. only this one is palm sized and pearl colored.
anyway, i do my business and then hang it up on a hook in the shower so that i can finish with my hair. i get out and dry off, get dressed and head to work.
at about 1:30 i realize that i've left my vibe hanging in the shower, so i bolt home from work on my lunch break, hoping that i get it before someone gets home. i pull in the driveway and to my horror, my dad is home.
i flew in the house and almost collided with him in the kitchen. he looks at me weird and i stumble and blurt out "I HAVE TO PEE!!!" and run into the bathroom. luckily he hadn't gone in there yet, he had just gotten home for lunch himself. he tells me to hurry up because he has to go too. i grab the vibe out of the shower and put it in my pocket, flush the toilet and calmly stroll out.
all i got was a strange look and a "that was quick". but all was well and it could've been worse. he'd found my porn before and was disgusted/embarassed. thats another long story too, but its not funny.
lol, thats funny
I don't have any.
My friend Tierra sent this to me while I was away. Thought I should share:
Tierra: haha, last night, i cut up peppers for salsa, then forgot about it. later on, i tried to masturbate, and my vagina was on fire.
Auto responce from CoCo: I feel as good as the town slut on prom night! Again!! But if you really wanna help me out, grab a nipple and squeeze...