Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by novo, Aug 9, 2007.
yes? no? what do you do?
Go by your morals and standards. I have cheated once in my life and felt terrible about it. And honestly in most people's book it wasn't even cheating. I know I couldn't do it again.
well i mean, would you mess around with a married (to a woman) man, if he really wanted some?
i got hit on by a very cute married man tonight and he acted like he did it all the time. i was just kind of lost morally.
nope... wouldn't do it... mostly because they are conflicted... and from my experience, conflicted men are never good in bed.
its even more sad when the guy is married "to god".
happened to my friend recently... guy told him... "bring your friend with you, if there are two of you, then you can rape me and i'll be forced to have sex with you guys - but after that, it will be out of my system and I can continue to build my strng relationship with god"
he needs help asap.
as for your story - sam has it right i think.
...I've done it a couple times in the past. Conveniently, I never knew that they were married until after I slept with them. Isn't rationalization fun?? I was smart enough to suspect that they were married, but I never had confirmation. Morally, it was very don't ask, don't tell. Recently, I have been better, and refused to have sex with the married men that have tried to get it.
And unlike Sam, I found the sex great. The difference may be that all of the married men that I had sex with understood exactly what was going on. They wanted to have their 'normal' public relationship, AND be able to have great man-sex. To them, there wasn't much conflict.
Oh, and it is my experience that married men who make a habit of sleeping with willing gay men attempt to avoid using condoms. If you so decide to physically enjoy these men, remember that you know better than to not play safe; use condom for any/all sexual acts...up to and including oral sex.
i dont know about that one...
Hell no, unless the woman was involved and was OK w/it. that was my 1st bi experience....
doing the "Down Low" thing is just wrong PERIOD /THREAD
Well, usually I like to fuck them because most of them are bigger bottoms than they'd ever want to admit.
I wouldn't, Id be afraid of the raging wife finding out and trying to kill me.
Seeing as I've never been with a married man, maybe the sex is good.
The conflicted men that I've had sex with were really more conflicted with their sexuality and/or with their religion.
Maybe married men have less conflict with mansex?!?!
for sex, yes....for anything else, no
but i give it up like nothing...
what's your phone number?
that's weird, i'd think it would be the exact opposite..since it seems to be a common stereotype among straight men that every gay man who's willing to have random sex is diseased. indeed, whenever i meet a guy who wants to bareback the first time we meet, i assume that he's got AIDS, because it just seems like too much risk otherwise. of course i can't argue against your experience, though, mine is just differnt.
and i need to caveat that all i wrote above refers to anal only. straight men can be so irritating when it comes to oral sex and condoms, in my experience, as if it's some personal affront that you won't blow them without the condom. seriously, it must be so hard for him to sit through that blowjob.
...now I can be wrong in my assessment, but I've always believed the psychology to be that these DL men don't see sex with men to be 'real sex', since there is no risk of conception. Condoms would then be useless with gay men, the risk of disease not being in the forefront of their minds. Think about 'safe sex' socialization...for most heterosexuals, the focus isn't on sexual health but on on reproduction. Safe(r) sexual health is a LGBTQ issue. WE immediately have red flags if someone wants to bareback.
But like you said, we could just have different experiences. And, there could be age dynamics in play. I tended to go after older men when I was younger (me:14-20, them:25-40), and as such the socialization could have changed.
...this goes back to how condoms are marketed towards heterosexuals /sexual socialization. Oral sex cannot lead to pregnancy, so there is no point in using them.
It is so infuriating to me that I have str8 male friends, who just so happen to be medical doctors and they still do not use condoms.
I have no interest at contracting a STD.
Please don't take this the wrong way, Cabana, but you simply have to evaluate priorities. I know that the trend with eProfiles/forums is to create an online persona that allows people to act out dreams/fantasies. I'm not really like that. I am CoCo. There used to be more people on OT who knew me outside of OT, but I really do present exactly who I am. And as you know, I'm slightly more sexual than the average person. I have family who wonder if that (which they attribute to my being queer) will lead to my downfall... Hell, I've had a few 'close friends' to pass judgment on me in heated debates/conversations, and I'm sorry but I have prioritized my need NOT to become a statistic. I refuse to let a lapse in my judgment compromise my sexual health; I will have no one tell me 'I told you so', saying that due to my 'lifestyle'...
But that's just me.
...yea, I guess so. We most certainly hear more about it as related to black men, due to media coverage. But I'm just not sure that because the reasoning behind the situation being different, really makes it a whole different situation--I know, that wasn't as clear as it could have been, but after looking at it for a minute, I readily couldn't think of a better syntax.
I have been married for 7.5 years and have never cheated on my wife. I have come close and thought about it with both sexes, I have even talked about it with other men, but I have decided it is not for me.
I just let my wife do me with her toys. I don't need a man on the outside of the relationship when she can get the job done.
But that is just me.
No, it wasn't an attack;I like you. When I first read your statement, I interpreted it as that you simply don't use a condom for oral sex...versus you don't engage in (unprotected) oral sex. I then inferred that you were one of those guys that will fuck/be fucked with a condom but turn around and suck/be sucked without a condom. And I was then pointing out that safe(r) sex is safe(r) sex; there is no compromise.
Sorry if I came off attackish.
NO and NOOOOOOOOOOO..
It's a bad idea and ALWAYS one sided. He's never going to give you the full attention you need, he's most likely NEVER going to leave his wife for you. If they have kids it will be even worse.
AVOID THIS SITUATION.