Married means Married

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by CarlitoBrigante, Aug 23, 2006.

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  1. CarlitoBrigante

    CarlitoBrigante New Member

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    1. "She" is not the reason your marriage sucks. YOU are. If you spent half as much time paying attention to her as you do trolling CL for sluts, your marriage would be a whole hell of a lot better.

    2. Yeah, yeah, we've all heard it a thousand times. You're in a sexless marriage. First of all, that's probably a lie, because most cheaters are liars too. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, pal- if your wife isn't interested in sex, it's because you're not offering sex that's interesting. Married guys get awfully boring after a while. They do the same boring thing the same boring way every fucking time and they expect you to scream like a porn star. Seriously, you come home from work, totally ignore her while she chases the kids around for 4 hours, makes dinner, does the laundry, blah blah blah, and then you expect her to roll over with her legs open for another session of same-old same-old? When are you idiots going to learn that the best foreplay in the world for a woman is watching you take care of the kids, vacuum the floor, pick up the dog poo in the backyard. Or how about just listening when she talks? You know, it's not that fucking hard to stop thinking about yourself for five minutes and hear what she has to say. Think about it- way back when, when you were getting your brains fucked out on a regular basis- what were YOU doing differently than you're doing now? Planning dates, telling her she looked nice, acting like you're happy to be with her? A thousand dollars says if you do that stuff again you'll get the same result.

    3. Your kids are NOT the reason you're staying married. If you were THAT miserable, you'd leave whether you had kids or not. If you're not getting a divorce it's because YOU DON'T WANT TO. For whatever reason. At least be honest and don't try to feed people that tired bullshit line about staying married for the kids. Contrary to what you think, it doesn't make you look like a poor suffering but honorable victim. You obviously don't care enough about your kids to treat their mother with enough respect not to cheat on her, and you don't care about them enough to spend time with THEM instead of some cheap whore, so cut it out with that crap. There is absolutely nothing honorable about putting your dick ahead of your kids. If you really really cared about them, you would put ALL your time and effort and money into saving the one thing that means most to them in the whole world- your marriage and their family. Otherwise you're full of shit.

    4. We all know how bored you are. Poor you, someone should really come along to entertain you. What are you, fucking 12 years old? If you're bored with your marriage, it's because YOU'RE BORING, and have you ever stopped to think that if you're bored, she probably is too. But instead of throwing a temper tantrum like a 2 year old, she's at home cleaning out the lint trap on the dryer and washing kool-aid off the kitchen floor. Yeah, she's having a fucking riot washing your underwear and cleaning up cat puke. Marriage is hard work. Hell, life is hard work. Grow the fuck up and take some responsibility for yourself. You have a brain, USE it. Put some thought into your marriage and some effort into your life and stop blaming her and being a baby because life isn't fun.

    5. You're looking for someone "younger". Sure you are. Dickhead. You think you look the same as you did when you got married? I'd bet not. Even if you do, you haven't spent the last 10 years having babies (the ones YOU wanted) and sacrificing your body for them. The next time you have to have someone stitch your asshole together because your just pushed a watermelon out of your butt, then you can sqwauk. If you ever spend 9 months with your belly stretched to obscene proportions, and manage to look exactly the same as you used to 6 weeks later, then you can bitch about how she's not attractive anymore. Until then, shut the fuck up. You have no concept of what she has sacrificed to give you the children you claim to love. You really think she wants varicose veins and stretch marks and saggy boobs? Get real. What she wants is a man who understands and values WHY she has varicose veins and stretch marks and saggy boobs. She wants a man who loves her because she was willing to make those sacrifices with her own body because she loves HIM. Instead, you criticize and go running off with the first perky 25 year old who gives you the time of day. Asshole.

    6. And finally, if you're cheating on your wife, there's something wrong with YOU. If you're not happy with your marriage, exactly how do you think fucking some slut is going to fix that? Exactly how is that going to make anyone happy? Have you ever actually heard of adultery working out really well for everyone involved? Are you actually stupid enough to think that you're going to be the exception to that rule? If so, you are delusional and you need professional help. Affairs are disasters- not some of the time, not most of the time, ALL OF THE TIME. You guilt will drive you crazy. Someone WILL find out. You will NOT be able to keep up the lies and the deception. And it will all lead up to a disaster of epic proportions, which leads me to Lucky #7.

    7. Here's what you can expect in the wake of your little fuck-fest:

    Divorce- this is where you lose everything- your wife, your house, half your income and possessions, possibly your job if you're stupid enough to be fucking around with a co-worker, your kids- EVERYTHING. You will LOSE IT ALL.

    Exposure- this is where everyone finds out what a scumbag you are. And they WILL find out. Your boss, your co-workers, your friends, your family, HER family, your neighbors, the parents of your kids' friends, everyone at your church. They WILL find out. Why? Because your now ex-wife will tell them. She will probably tell everyone she knows, and everyone you know, and she will feel good doing it. Consider yourself lucky if she doesn't rent a billboard. Otherwise, all bets are off. Be prepared.

    Your Kids- this is where you totally lose the respect of your kids, and you deserve to lose it. They will realize in pretty short order that you didn't care enough about them to keep your fucking pants on. They will see their mother cry and they will hate you for it. They will end up shuttling back and forth between their home and your apartment, and they will hate you for it. Every time they have to tell someone that their parents are divorced, they will hate you for it. And God forbid you decide to "introduce" them to your shiny new soulmate/fuckbuddy, they will REALLY hate you for that. If your kids are really young, you have a little time before all this shit hits the fan, but be warned, it's coming. They will forever see you as the moron who broke up their family. They will know that you can't be trusted, that you are weak and immoral and selfish. And they'll figure it out all by themselves, even if you never talk to them about it. Because your kids are smarter than you are at this point.

    So, go ahead and whine your pathetic bullshit about how you're a victim and your wife is a horrible shrew. Do your best to convince yourself that you didn't have any choice and your wife "drove you to it." Start with the rationalizations and justifications now, you're going to need a lot of them. Remember that the best defense is a good offense and start a mental list of all the ways your wife is deficient. Make sure to re-write the history of your marriage so that you can say that you were miserable from the first day. Be sure to tell your wife that you love her, you're just not "in love" with her anymore. Deal with your guilt by lashing out at everyone around you. Above all, take no responsibility for any problems YOU may have that caused you to be such a spineless bastard in the first place.
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    WTF is all this about?

    And it's hilarious, because it's posted by someone who has admits he cheats and sees nothing wrong with it.

    Seriously, do you just troll?

    Oh, I'm sure this isn't anything you came up with, so could you cite who originally came up with it?
     
  3. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    Is this a reconciliation?
     
  4. toeshoes

    toeshoes Guest

    Wow, how true that is. I've seen it happen. Even been party to it. Cheating is not all it's cracked up to be. My advice, if you're gonna cheat, get a divorce first.
     
  5. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    If you would have the decency to help relieve a man after a long day's hard work, maybe I wouldn't have to look on the internet for something my wife is supposed to take care of. I don't even ask that you go all out, just spread your legs open for 5 minutes and allow me some relief.

    I'm supposed to appreciate everything YOU do when you don't appreciate anything I do? I work 12 hours a day bringing home money to keep this family afloat. What you do at home is manual labor that any illegal immigrant would be happy to get paid $3/hr for. You do it because little is required and it makes you feel like you're actually doing something worthwhile for the family even though it's meaningless, since I don't even care if the laundry gets done 3 times a week or the dishes done and floors mopped every single day. Hell even with all the supposed cleaning up that you do the ceilings STILL are covered in cobwebs. You don't think I notice that? I've spent countless hours with the kids and have always taken my time to listen to you talk. Do you NORMALLY screw my brains out after I listen to you? EVER? MAYBE after a lot of begging and pleading if I'm lucky I'll get an uninspiring hand job out of PITY which I'll have to try and cum within 30 seconds or else you'll get TIRED. That is why I don't even bother anymore. It simply isn't worth it to give you any sort of compliment when everytime I immediately walk in the door I can sense a huge energy ball of resentment radiating from you.

    You have NO IDEA how much I love my kids because you obviously don't give a shit about them yourself. THEY know that I'm not happy with you and THEY know what a miserable worthless woman you are. Ask them who they enjoy being around more? Ask them who actually takes the time to listen to and give them the little things that they really want? Taking them out for ice cream just once a week means a lot more to them than packing the same bland school lunches everyday. All you do is control the shit out of them, trying to shape our kids into these perfect little children. It's too much to live up to. They know that you only do it so that you can brag to all of your friends about how better they are than anyone else's kids. They see right through you. I care about their hobbies and their goals. My love is genuine. All you care about is image.

    Sorry but I know what it's like to have to do laundry. I did it during my college days. All it takes is 5 minutes of my time. I don't know what the hell you're doing to make it so damn complicated. Is cleaning LINT actually hard work to you? No wonder you can't make a marriage work.


    So you're saying that having kids was all MY idea? You didn't want any part of them? Great, real great. NOW you tell me. I should've divorced you YEARS ago. And you don't think I can get younger women? I got YOU didn't I?

    I don't have a guilty bone in my body. I did what I did because you left me no choice. If I had not seeked out another girl to sleep with, we would've divorced which I felt would've been too traumatic for the kids. Like it or not, I'M the one who did whatever he could to save our marriage. I was the ONLY one putting in the effort. I mean just think about it. ALL you had to do was sleep with me! THAT'S ALL! The lack of sexual satisfaction is the LEAST of my concerns when it comes to our marriage, but if you had only shown just a little bit of EFFORT, it would've made me respect you more. It would've made my life much easier. But no you had to be selfish and arrogant. Well, congrats at the mess you made.


    Oh I could care less about the wife. In fact I already have a replacement lined up. Isn't it interesting how the first items on your list are "wife, house, income, possessions". Gee, I wonder if it's because YOU yourself put value in those ABOVE ALL ELSE. And what's next? My job? You want revenge on me? You want to see me suffer? You don't think that I've already suffered ENOUGH from having to be married to you? Give yourself some credit here. You destroyed my life and IT SHOWS. PLEASE HAVE SOME MERCY ON ME WOMAN! And look what you listed last--the kids. I see they're real important to you, aren't they?

    The funny thing is that when you go around screaming "My husband cheated on me!" who do you think people will be laughing at? It's not me, honey. EVERYONE knows that you're neurotic. NOBODY will be surprised at this and in fact they probably EXPECTED me to cheat on you.

    Like I said before, my kids know that I love them. When they see me without you they see that I'm a different man. A more kindler, loving father. They know why I'm not the best when you're around. There's only one difference and that's you. Of course I will introduce my new love to my kids. I have nothing to hide from them. When they see the effects she has on me--the positive change in my personality when I'm around her compared to you, they'll be happy for me and they'll accept her. Even if it's hard on them in the beginning, when they grow up and have their own relationships and discover the difficulties involved with them, they'll understand what I had to go through with you and will have more compassion towards me.


    Unlike you, I do take responsibility for my problems. After all, I made the biggest mistake of my life by marrying you. Had I known you would turn out the way you did--a resentful bitch who does absolutely nothing yet demands more and more and more no matter how much I give, I would never have married you in the first place. Hell I wish we had never met. Of all the women that have been in my life, you are the only one who's left me so miserable and even unfeeling which is the worst of all.

    I hope you've learned a valuable lesson in life. Chances are you will be one of those bitter women who will never grow up, but I do have hope. I have to because I wouldn't have married you if I didn't believe that you had the potential to be better than this. MUCH BETTER. However, it seems that you've actually reached the absolute worst of your potential instead. I feel like I'm finally coming out of the dark and waking up from a very very very long nightmare. I'm optimistic that my life will change for the better. All I can ask for is that my state of happiness return to where it was before I ever met you. That's all I want right now.
     
  6. xinster

    xinster New Member

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    hahahahahaha.
     
  7. Grouch

    Grouch Guest


    Your attempt at a witty reply failed.
     
  8. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Please. My job is not to entertain anyone. Everything that I said was from the heart, nigga.
     
  9. Grouch

    Grouch Guest

    :rofl: :ugh:
     
  10. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Carlito is a guy. Also, go see this thread of his to see why it's so weird that he's posting this.

    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2241650
     
  11. RRated

    RRated New Member

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    You GO GURL....:rofl: :hsd:
     
  12. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    I wonder if his "wife" found his account :mamoru:
     
  13. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    Ive been praying for just that for months now.....Shit,Im gonna go play lotto right now, Im feeling lucky!
     
  14. Bella

    Bella New Member

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    Where do you want me baby?!
    Thats what I was thinking :rofl:
     
  15. The Secretary

    The Secretary My domestic skills will rock your socks off!

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    Wow, im absolutely speechless.
     
  16. Solus Emsu

    Solus Emsu ****** U N R A T E D ! ****** -----THAT'S HOW I RO

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    What are you talking about?

    Cheating is not all it is cracked up to be? :ugh:
    What exactly is it cracked up to be?
    I take it since you know what cheating is like, you are the expert on it?


    You should be the last person to make any attempt at adding input or advice on marriage........

    You are in your 7th marriage. :rolleyes:
     
  17. Solus Emsu

    Solus Emsu ****** U N R A T E D ! ****** -----THAT'S HOW I RO

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    This thread is a trainwreck waiting for another train to come along and smash into it.

    :o
     
  18. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    OP is a douche fuck. :ugh:
     
  19. Solus Emsu

    Solus Emsu ****** U N R A T E D ! ****** -----THAT'S HOW I RO

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    I know. :o

    I hope a mod can see that he is trolling the VAG, and does what he/she can to get this guy banned.
     
  20. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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  21. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    Carlito- You have til tonight to explain this thread. If you don't, or can't, I will be requesting your ban for trolling the Vag one too many times. The clocks ticking...
     
  22. Solus Emsu

    Solus Emsu ****** U N R A T E D ! ****** -----THAT'S HOW I RO

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    :bowdown:
     
  23. awlewis

    awlewis New Member

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    So you learned how to copy and paste?
     
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