Marriage gone sour

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JDMJon, Apr 1, 2007.

  1. JDMJon

    JDMJon Let's break out the shotguns, we're going to town

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2007
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Las Cruces, NM
    I am married, but I think it was a mistake. We had a child out of wedlock and then I was somewhat threatened to get married by her divorced/remarried parents and her. My feelings for her are that fimiliar phrase, " I love you, but not in love with you". We butt heads constantly and tend to live our own seperate lives. She works (EMT usually 24hrs at a time), visits her mom out of town, and rarely sees me, but she complains about not spending time with me. All this is on her own will. I myself have my last semester of college, undergrad research, fraternity business, a part-time job, and usually watch my daughter between all of these because of her working.

    I have also found that living with her that her cleanliness is slim to none. I have actually seen dirty/clean needles on her bedroom dresser and dirty diapers left on her night stand and floor by her bed. This is just disguisting in my opinion and have confronted her several times about it. There are other things, but in my opinion those are the worst. Also total lack of interest in sex with each other. I am not sure it has to do with the birth, but after that it has gone down hill and is now to once in awhile (WELCOME TO MARRIAGE!).

    Well I have met another girl, I have known her from high school and just got back with her recently and have done a few things, but nothing that far yet. She knows about my situation and says I need out. Of course in her favor, but over the time span we have butted heads and talked about changes nothing has changed. Maybe for a week or two, but back to the same ol story. I am just in need of some opinions. I have talked to all the people close to me. Your thoughts?


    Cliff notes: Marriage not going well. Lack of interest in both parties. Habits are gross. Met someone from past. What to do?
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    This is why you don't marry someone just because you got them knocked up, You know your marriage is a failure, and you've already admitted to seeing another woman, and even if you haven't slept with her you are acting as if it would happen soon enough. So stop being an idiot and end this marriage because you and I both know it's not going to last forever, so why drag it out any longer?

    And don't say "for the kid," because staying together for the kids is even worse. Hopefully you will get a divorce and still be a good father to that poor child.
     
  3. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2005
    Messages:
    15,951
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Charlotte, NC
    Needles? :ugh:

    It would seem like things are over between you two, unless she changes, which isn't going to happen. But if getting her knocked up got you pressured enough to get married, the shit is really gonna hit the fan when you bring up divorce. Good luck with that one.

    Cliffs: don't cheat on your wife, you'll only give her ammo.
     
  4. JDMJon

    JDMJon Let's break out the shotguns, we're going to town

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2007
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Las Cruces, NM
    I would never abandon my child, ever.
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    No one said to abandon your child. Getting a divorce to end a non-working marriage is not abandoning your child.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    I think he was referring to my comment about how he needs to get a divorce, but still be a good father. I hate when people don't quote
     
  7. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2001
    Messages:
    52,552
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Miramar, FL
    I say get out of it. what traumatizes kids is not the divorce itself, its the conflict and negativity that goes with a marriage that is no longer working. whether it end in divorce and the divorce is bitter or the parents stay together and openly hate each other. So don't stay in something that has gone to complete shit for "the sake of your kid".

    the marriage was over before it began. if you want to continue to try, then you BOTH need marriage counceling to see if you can salvage some scrap of something.... but i doubt that will happen. save you child and yourself a bitter horrible next couple of years and get it over with now.
     
  8. JDMJon

    JDMJon Let's break out the shotguns, we're going to town

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2007
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Las Cruces, NM
    thanks for the input
     
  9. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    End it. Immediately.

    Don't even think about the fallout. Its going to suck, and some people are going to hate you for awhile.

    No matter.

    You have to do what is necessary to make yourself happy.

    No one else is going to take care of you like you will.

    Don't try to make everyone feel good about this. Don't try to explain it. Just get out ASAP.
     
  10. randomzed

    randomzed New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2007
    Messages:
    95
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Your Mums House

    spot on... needles and kids certainly dont mix. not judging, just a moral stand point. Get the fuck out. and make it fast.
     
  11. JDMJon

    JDMJon Let's break out the shotguns, we're going to town

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2007
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Las Cruces, NM
    I don't know how many times I have confronted her about that and she just says she will take it back to her work and dispose of it properly. It doesn't happen so I just wind up throwing them away. I would expect an EMT to understand why not to leave things around like that, especially with her job security
     
  12. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    she obviously doesn't give a flying fuck
     
  13. MudRacer4x4

    MudRacer4x4 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2006
    Messages:
    474
    Likes Received:
    0
    you got married because of pressure not because YOU wanted to get married.

    I'd say stick it out until your out of school and have a career (if its not to long)

    Stay close to your daughter

    And keep in contact with this other girl but wait a while after the devorce until you go out with her.

    Your marriage sounds very unhealthy and keep in mind this isn't effecting just you but your daughter as well. You don't want your daughter to grow up in an unhappy house hold in which the parents don't talk and don't even sleep in the same room. This will make your daughter upset and then she may settle for the same kind of relationship you have settle for.

    Stand up for yourself and do whats right for you and your daughter and even your wife.

    And once you get in a career the more years you stay married the harder to get devorced.
     
  14. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2006
    Messages:
    32,407
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    OKC
    Is it normal for EMTs to leave needles lying around the house?? Sounds like she's a junkie to me....but that's why I ask becasue I've never known an EMT. I'm going to assume she's a junkie instead.

    If you truly will not abandon your child, perhaps you should think of leaving your kid in the care of a junkie...even if it's her mother. It's allowing your kid to be placed in a dangerous or potentially dangerous situation. As a parent you have an obligation to protect her.
     
  15. cabriolet

    cabriolet ...

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2003
    Messages:
    1,761
    Likes Received:
    0
    +1 pretty mother fucking sure EMT's can't take DIRTY needles home, and I'm guessing they aren't supposed to even take clean ones home
     
  16. childofbean

    childofbean Green Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2006
    Messages:
    4,181
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Houston, Tx
    :werd:

    If you're unhappy with your marriage, why stay in it? It's not only affecting you, but it also is, or will, affect your daughter.
    It can't be too good for her mental health to be around all of this negativity.
     
  17. Ibanez Guy

    Ibanez Guy New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2006
    Messages:
    386
    Likes Received:
    0
    get out now befor eyou get a real job, that way you don't have to really pay crap in alimony or child support
     
  18. JDMJon

    JDMJon Let's break out the shotguns, we're going to town

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2007
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Las Cruces, NM
    "Supposedly" she told me that she would never take my daughter away from me and she would never file for custody. I can't believe that with her because of her back stabbing parents. Something tells me that they would manipulate her to file. They are an unforgiving bunch leprechauns!
     
  19. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    I have seen with my own eyes that in these situations most women will do anything in their power to hurt you.

    I would recommend that you meet with a lawyer before you discuss the divorce with her.

    You can't trust her words, women don't live by a "code of honor."

    Its going to get ugly, and its going to suck really bad.

    But you can't continue in this relationship and be happy. Get your life back!
     
  20. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2006
    Messages:
    32,407
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    OKC
    So no reply to my junkie comment huh?
     
  21. JDMJon

    JDMJon Let's break out the shotguns, we're going to town

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2007
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Las Cruces, NM
    Wouldn't surprise me right about now
     
  22. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    So have you done anything about this man? Or are you just going to sit around in a loveless relationship for a few more years all the while emotionally cheating on her with another woman?
     
  23. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2006
    Messages:
    32,407
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    OKC
    See that's the thing tho...if she's a junkie are you just going to sit by and let your kid be exposed to that??

    I'm not telling you what to do but if my wife was a junkie and leaving needles lying around, I'd get my attorney to file for full custody pronto!
     
  24. JDMJon

    JDMJon Let's break out the shotguns, we're going to town

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2007
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Las Cruces, NM
    I am actually going to talk to an attorney thursday when I have some down time for classes. Discuss the issues and figure out what exactly needs to be done.
     
  25. JDMJon

    JDMJon Let's break out the shotguns, we're going to town

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2007
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Las Cruces, NM
    I usually throw them away before she finds that they are there. I have taken pictures for evidence
     

Share This Page