Making the 1st move

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by 20Psi_GST, Feb 5, 2007.

  1. 20Psi_GST

    20Psi_GST New Member

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    Im gonna try to feel in all the facts. Feel free to ask me a question to help you better answer this. Im sure its pretty simple but i just like to be 100% sure im not doing something retarded before i go at it.

    I have a really close friend. I like her, she likes me. We ARE NOT dating. We have gone out about 5-6 times, but just as friends. I have stayed over at her house a few times, sleeping in the bed with her everytime. I have never made the first move. I have never even kissed her. The first time i stayed over at her house, i come to find out later, i should of at least made a move, this was told to me by her best friend. I also know that she would have slept with me had i made a move, this came from her mouth. I really like this girl and i dont want to just come off forward by kissing her right away. This wouldnt even be a problem if we would have kissed before but im to much of a pussy to do anything right.

    Basically id rather hear this from a women. Someone around 21, but any other age is just fine. I just wanna know how i can get this started without comin off to forward. If i get told no i dont mind, just as long as i dont get told no because i was being to forward. Please explain.
     
  2. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    i just turned 21 today :wiggle:

    i think it's really really good that you've gone out so many times without doing anything physical. having slept over at her house a couple times, it's getting to the point where she will start being frustrated that you haven't made a move yet. if she's letting you sleep in your bed, i guarantee you she's not going to say no if you make a move. i don't think there's much you can do right now to seem to forward (short of ripping off her clothes without saying anything :mamoru:) so i'd just reccommend the next time you're hanging out alone with her (and planning to stay over at her house) just go in for the kiss... you can do it either before or after you've gotten into bed, it doesn't matter. then just let it go from there, letting her body language tell you what more she wants.
     
  3. 20Psi_GST

    20Psi_GST New Member

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    Thanks, i was thinkin about that. Ive only stayed with her once btw, but i know we have made plans to stay again here shortly.
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Ask her out again on an official date. That way, you won't creep her out or anything by just kissing her out of the blue, but you'll still be letting her know you want to be more than just friends now.

    If it goes well, try kissing her at the end of the date.

    But also...don't be surprised if she wants to stay "just friends". It sounds like she has you deep in the friendzone, simply because she has told all this stuff to you. Face it, her best friend and her are talking to you like one of their other girl friends.

    You may be too far in the friendzone...but hey, it's worth a try. Ask her out. Call it a date. See what she says.
     
  5. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    An important thing to keep in mind is that when you sleep in the same bed with her and cuddle with her, you are fulfilling her needs much more so than your own.

    She feels protected and loves the feeling of snuggling with you. This is not to say that you don't enjoy it, but its not even close to as important for you as it is to her.

    I view cuddling as a reward. After she enthusiastically goes along with your date invitation and things begin to progress sexually, then you can reward her with cuddling.

    So here are the steps:

    1. Date (not as friends, an actual date).

    2. Sexual contact

    3. Cuddling

    I've cuddled with women when I was a young man, and it rarely led to sexual activity. I've learned firsthand that the sex should come first.
     
  6. fray

    fray New Member

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    All I'm going to say is I waited forever for my boyfriend to make a move and it drove me insane. We went in waves where we would see each other and hang out, and then not hang out, and repeat, for many many years. She's already told you she's interested in you, so you're free to make the move. So, do it. Ask her on a real date or kiss her. Something like that is not going to come off as too forward. Shoving your hand down her pants in the middle of watching a movie probably will.
     
  7. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Great advice.

    I would add, which is worse: future regret looking back and you never made a move, or potentially being rejected?
     
  8. fray

    fray New Member

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    :eek3: ...thanks...


    that's what finally got our asses in gear. might lose the friendship, but would rather that than waste what could be a great relationship, or sit around years from now and wonder if that was the one you let get away.
     
  9. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    Girlfriends talk. No news there. If these words came from her mouth and obviously made it to your ears, there's some truth in them. I've been in this girl's situation, and to be honest with you I was forced to make the first move, which was sort of a turn off - it kinda made me feel like there was no attraction on his part? So, ask her out again, and make the first move. Kiss her, see if it leads elsewhere - and if it does, take the step. She's obviously got interest. We don't just complain to our girlfriends about guys not kissing, etc. to hear ourselves speak.
     
  10. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Come the fuck on sir, her friends are saying that you will never make the first move.

    I mean, this is a sign. Oh shit, look there is the turnoff. Fuck you missed it.

    The next one is coming up. Do not miss it this time.

    :)

    Seriously. If a girl lets you sleep in her bed, come over all the time, and what not... all great signs that she likes you.
     
  11. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    I would prefer cuddle sex cuddle sex cuddle sex (without any orgasm between either of us). Oxytocin for the win. Dopamine ftl.
     
  12. Euge

    Euge New Member

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    Im still trying to get a chick
     
  13. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    You have a severe lack of confidence... just make a move! "...she would have slept with me had i made a move, this came from her mouth." Go for it! there's nothing to discuss... next time you two are alone together, snuggle up close and make your move... dont overanalyze the situation
     
  14. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I don't do drugs, just alcohol and weed.

    I'm specifically referring to cuddling where there is no sex involved at all.
     

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