Lying Wife

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by biggreg247, Jul 25, 2009.

  1. biggreg247

    biggreg247 New Member

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    Ok my wife has lied to me about a bunch of stuff in the past. It’s nothing relationship ending but it is stuff that is important to me. After confronting her and arguing it out she has admitted some things to me and swears that she isn’t hiding anything else.
    I am almost positive that she is still lying to me. She claims that I’m too judgmental and doesn’t want to disappoint me. If I confront her about this stuff I know she will deny it and it will get us nowhere. What should I do? Should I just let it go and move past the fact that she is lying to me and will continue to keep things from me? Or should I realize that I will never be able to fully trust her again and move on?
    I’ve been going through this longer than I’d like to admit. I don’t know what to do. Any advice would be great.
     
  2. C.W.

    C.W. OT Supporter

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    What did she lie about?
     
  3. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

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    Well.. if they lie about the small stuff they will prob lie about the big stuff to.. end it .. move on before you get in to deep.
     
  4. LBFilmGuy

    LBFilmGuy LOL why u mad tho?

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    .

    The details, they're overwhelming.
     
  5. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    It's his wife. Not just a gf that you can easily next.
     
  6. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

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    true that I thought it said GF.. :hs: In that case figure out WHY she is lying.. she might have just been raised like that.. I know my husband's parents LIED about EVERYTHING.. just so the other did not get mad.. :ugh:

    I dont understand why people are so concerned with other people get mad. Its an emotion people are ALLOWED to feel. Most people will work through it and get over..

    ughhhhh I hate it when people LIE
     
  7. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    How do you know it's something huge? It all depends on its relationship ending or not. I've done things in the past that I don't tell people about or share, its not relationship threatening and doesn't matter now.

    It all depends on what she is lying about and whether it still has an effect today.
     
  8. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

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    Never once.. did I EVER.. said it was something HUGE. when it comes to lying. you either lie or you dont.
     
  9. biggreg247

    biggreg247 New Member

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    She lied to me about using drugs several times and about her eating disorder. It's not like she cheated on me or anything, but it's still pretty important to me at least.
     
  10. biggreg247

    biggreg247 New Member

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    GP you are right! That's all I've been thinking about. She will lie about the stupidest small things and she is ok with it. Does that mean she would also be ok with living a much larger lie?
     
  11. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    Are these relevant to the present?
    And not necessarily.
     
  12. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

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    not really.. could just mean she is does not want you to know about the bad parts of her life.. you might look down on her ... or use it against her in the future..

    I HOWEVER believe that you should be truthful and forthcomming with your S.O. and if asked a question you should answer it.. if yall cant do it then yall have a serious problem with communication.
     
  13. biggreg247

    biggreg247 New Member

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    Black Dahlia- Yes they are relevant to the present because they effect her health which is kinda important to a relationship. I know that this stuff is still going on. I ask her about it and she denies it but I find out she tells her friends about it.

    I know she is keeping this stuff from me because she thinks I'll be judgmental but who cares when she is F'ing killing herself.
     
  14. biggreg247

    biggreg247 New Member

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    I can be honest. I have nothing to hide from my SO. I tell her everything. It's her that I can't trust. I don't know if everything that comes out of her mouth is the whole truth.
     
  15. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

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    its obvious she has issues and prob need to seek some help with someone..

    The whole honesty thing goes both ways... its obvious that yall are NOT communicating. So maybe some sort of intervention that would help yalls communication skills would do yall both some good.
     
  16. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    I think if she has a major drug problem(which the TS seems to believe) this goes way past simple communication. She needs to seek help but they rarely do on their own.
     
  17. biggreg247

    biggreg247 New Member

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    I don't think it is a serious drug problem. But then again I don't know the whole story. It may not be a big deal for others but it is for me. She does it and keeps it from me. Then when I confront her she lies to my face.

    The eating disorders are a big deal. I've never given her a reason to think of me as judgmental regarding eating disorders. But she still lied to my face about that too.

    It makes me wonder what else has she lied to me about.
     
  18. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

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    IMHO if it's just weed then I wouldn't be crazy worried but if it was meth, coke, heroin or somethine much more detrimental then yeah, i'd be worried..

    but if it's just fuckin weed then maybe you should get down too homie. Unless you get random's like I do.

    Weed is uplifting, bro
     
  19. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

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    All those problems make me think that she has a BIG personnality disorder down there, or at least some traits. These people need to see someone for a couple of years before seeing some change. You can't expect her to get better by herself and you're in for quite a ride. It won't change. And there's depression which is bound to happen with all those problems being there.

    She probably wouldn't even qualify for marital therapy since people with personality disorders should have to see a personal therapist at the same time (if the marital therapist does his job right, that's how it should be). So working on the relationship by yourself is doomed unless she seeks help. If you want to work things through, you could, and you could offer her to see someone and that you'll be there for her. I personally wouldn't stay if she wasn't willing to see one.
     
  20. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    a wife that lies is a wife that dies..................
     
  21. saosko

    saosko OT Supporter

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    Oh hai, Ted Bundy.
     
  22. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Just out of curiosity, when you say drugs do you mean marijuana or something else? Smoking weed is a far cry from shooting heroin.
     
  23. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    :rofl:
     
  24. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    I know I could never be with a woman that lied like that.

    sucks, but she will probably never change.
     
  25. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    you have to decide if you want to be with someone who lies to you. i wouldnt.
     

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