LTR breakup on new years eve

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by DTR rex, Dec 31, 2009.

  1. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    So earlier this morning my g/f just freaked out on me and ended the relationship.

    We've been together for years, but have had our rough spots. Apparently I just don't give her what she wants. I'm extremely confused, yet I understand where she is coming from. She says I am not emotionally open to her and I don't make her feel loved and wanted.
    It's double-edged though because there are many times that I am emotionally distant and I am not that loving towards her... but in there are other times when I am more affectionate towards her than any other guy I know.

    She stated that I don't always smile when I see her, I don't always sound happy to talk to her on the phone, and I sometimes act annoyed with her... which I guess is true if I am in a certain mood... but I'm also very loving and affectionate towards her and make her VERY aware of the fact that I love her, want to marry her, and spend my life with her.

    This just really sucks. She is such a huge part of my life. My family loves her, my friends love her... she's just such an awesome girl. But she's had a lot of problems in her life lately with school, jobs, family life, etc... and she's become a rather angry person. She used to be so understanding and patient with me, but now she just explodes in anger and says some mean and hurtful things. The SMALLEST thing that I do will set her off and infuriate her.

    I love this girl tremendously. I was saving up money to put a ring on her finger next year, I was hoping to get a place with her soon, etc... but she has just gotten so angry with me and our relationship. During the "breakup speech" she said several times how I am like poison and make her feel like shit, and make her an unhappy person!!
    I don't even know how to respond to that!

    We were best friends, we were always there for each other. The thought of not having her around makes me sick to my stomach and scarred to death. I'm not sure what to do.
    I tried to reason with her, but she just isn't having it. I know I have not been the best boyfriend, and I feel terrible about it, but all this other stress in her life is causing her to cut me NO SLACK at al.

    I don't want to be without her, but I don't have a choice. She insists that we're not right for each other and I feel like I am going crazy.

    And since we had plans tonight, and now it's over, I am stuck with nothing to do on NYE. Most of my friends are going to a party over an hour away and I really don't feel like driving that far with all the drunken idiots on the road tonight. Gonna end up stuck inside sulking, lol.
     
  2. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    What the hell are you supposed to do when the girl you've loved for years, wanted to marry, wanted to have kids with, spend your life with, etc... etc... all the sudden wants nothing to do with you? Just last night she was sending me texts with smiley faces, saying she loves me and can't wait to see me.
    Then this morning she calls me up while I am sleeping and because I am not sounding happy to talk to her (It wasn't that I was unhappy to talk her to her, I was just sleeping so I sounded groggy annoyed!!!) she just blows up and starts screaming and saying she wants nothing to do with me and this was the final straw of this relationship.

    I had such high hopes for us, and it's almost like I am not willing to accept that it could be over. We had such an awesome connection. I've never felts so connected/close to someone in my life... not even family members.
     
  3. Ferrari430

    Ferrari430 New Member

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  4. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

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    Sorry man. Reminds me of the time I was going out with this girl and right on Christmas eve she blew me off.
     
  5. Mr. November

    Mr. November Guest

    :ughug: Definitely don't over-think it tonight. Go out, have fun, and resist the urge to contact her.
     
  6. poormanq45

    poormanq45 OT Supporter

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    She found a new toy...
     
  7. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    im going to go against the grain and say...

    find her



    and then make out with her
     
  8. themolsen

    themolsen New Member

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    I'll tell you 2 things to keep in mind over the next few days/weeks/months. They might not be significant now, but they probably will be later:

    1. You can't change how someone else feels in a situation like this. There is no amount of reasoning, logic, emotional appeals or begging that can accomplish this.
    2. You have 100% control over how you feel.

    :hug: hang in there
     
  9. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    i dunno. if it were me personally, i would fight to get her back. if you feel like you could have been a better boyfriend, be a better boyfriend.

    but thats just me, i have been fighting for like 3 months now, and am finally starting to realize that its over. but that doesnt mean that i feel like i wasted the last 3 months. i had to do what i felt was right. i gave it my best shot, and i dont have to worry about, what if i would have tried harder.
     
  10. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    get out of the house tonight.
     
  11. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    This.

    If you feel you were "emotionally distant" with her, you need to reconnect with her. You gotta let her know how you feel.
     
  12. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    To those saying I should try to get her back:

    - I've been trying. We've been together for several years and during that time we've had some big blow outs and half-assed breakups. A couple of them have been about this very topic... Me being emotionally distant and not acting happy around her all the time. I always say I am going to work on it and fix it, and I do. I fix it for about a week and then eventually things up back the way they were.

    I'm afraid this time she won't give me another chance... And I can't really blame her. I've gotten better with it, but all the stress in her life is making her impatient and on a short fuse with me.

    I spoke to her a couple times and explained myself. I told her repeatedly how much I care for her, love her, and how special/amazing she is. Then I proceeded with how sorry I am. But she's not having it :(

    I just don't know what the deal is. Are we just not right for each other and I treat her that way because subconsciously I don't want to be around her... or is it more-so because I am just a dick and even though I love her to death I act in a dick-ish/selfish manner? More likely the last one I am thinking.

    I know I love her. I know I want to spend my life with her. Yet, I can't seem to act in accordance with what she needs. Normally I would say that I guess I am just not the guy to make her happy... but part of me can't help think that the problem is ME, and with the way I act no girl would put up with it?

    She said she still loves me and misses me. But can't keep doing this because the way I act is tearing her apart. At this point in time, she's not willing to give me another chance it seems. And even if she did, I am not sure I could live up to what she wants/needs from me considering our history :(

    The worst part is the way this is going down. If she simply didn't love me anymore, or was into another dude, this would be easier to understand/deal with. But here I have the girl I love more than anything on earth, and she's leaving me because I can't seem to be emotionally up front with her, or I act unhappy around her... I can't handle the fact that I am going to lose the best thing that ever happened to me in my life all because of some stupid shit I am doing wrong!!!!
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2009
  13. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    I know this isn't the case. She's not that kind of girl.
     
  14. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    always?

    I'm glad this doesn't happen to me. :hs:
     
  15. *RARA*

    *RARA* New Member

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    It sounds like it can be fixed. You do love her. She's just not *seeing* that love. Is there any possibility of her wanting to work things out?
     
  16. *RARA*

    *RARA* New Member

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    ehe, yes... this
     
  17. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    i used to take my ex for granted. i never realized it until we had broken up. she probably didnt even notice. but i would complain about little things, and not show her how much she meant to me frequently enough.

    it doesnt sound like you were being that bad of a boyfriend. it sounds like she has things going on that are out of your control and is taking it out on you. i think those are the times that you need to step up and be even more loving. those are times when she is weak, so you need to be stronger.

    maybe you can do sweet stuff for her now. like, do you know what she is doing tonight? is she sitting around at home? if so, go to her house at midnight, and knock on her door and when she answers kiss her, and tell her that you couldnt imagine starting the new year without her. :dunno:
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Whoa wait, you're still with that same girl??? :confused:

    Didn't you guys break up a long time ago?
     
  19. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Same here basically. Sometimes I can be extremely affectionate (more-so than any other guy I know) and other times I am distant, take her for granted, and make small complaints that obviously get to her. I try to keep it all in check, but it always seems to revert back to this.
     
  20. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Yeah, same girl.

    We did break up about 2.5 years ago. I dated a few other women, one of which was for about 2 months. About a year after breaking up we got back together.

    And here I am.

    I've been with this girl a LONG time, and after our breakup I thought things would be different. We were doing great, but recent stresses in her life are making her a pretty impatient/angry person. So stuff that she would normally just "put up with" I guess, or overlook, are now causing huge arguments.

    And today was the final straw I guess. She thinks I am mean to her, unaffectionate, never seem happy to see her. Yet, I love her to death. I've tried to fix this stuff but it never stays fixed 100%. I've gotten better with it all though it seems.

    It just one of those things that when everything in the relationship seems to be going well I just ignore any potential problems and don't notice much. But now that she's broken up with me I am doubting myself and realizing what I may have done wrong and don't want to lose her over that.

    We were looking at dogs to buy, planning to move in soon, and I started a savings fund to put a ring on her finger.

    She said she's been giving me signs that she wasn't happy with the way things were and how I was treating her... but I guess I just ignored them since it wasn't an immediate problem or something???
    But it's so hard to read her... one minute she'll be dropping signs that she's not happy with how I treat her, and the next she'll be telling me how much she loves me and cuddling with me. So naturally, I assume all is well, lol.
    It's hard to be proactive about a problem she conveying when she's so on and off with how happy she is with me.
     
  21. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    Listen broly, I'm elite and so is my advice. Go out and find some stank for your hanglow then pm me in the morning.
     
  22. saosko

    saosko OT Supporter

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    ditto
     
  23. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    it sounds good, but if the thread starter is feeling anything like i am...i see pretty girls, and i notice that they are pretty but i dont really want to have sex with them. there is only one girl i want to be having sex with. :hs:
     
  24. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    You an elite mofo. Might have to take this advice later down the road.
     
  25. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Pretty much me too.

    I am going to catch major flack for this pussy-ass stuff I am about to say, but.....

    I am not into 1 night stands. I have to care for a girl to even consider sexing her up. Sex is something I don't want to share with just any-old skank whore.
     

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