Love vs. being in love?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Ivandrago, Mar 16, 2010.

  1. Ivandrago

    Ivandrago I must break you.

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    What is the difference between the two, and how soon can you possibly know after you date someone whether it's love, or being in love, or both, or neither. Can you be in love with your spouse/gf/partner, and not love them, or vice versa?

    Love is the most complex, painful & unusual emotions we can experience as humans.
     
  2. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    You can't put a time frame on when you know you're in love IMO. It just happens. You cannot force it or rush it.
     
  3. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    I think its possible to love someone but not be "in love" with them, but i dont think its possible to be "in love" and not also love the person. why? i would say that i still love my most recent ex, even though i have not been in love with him for a very long time (6 years probably). i define love as caring deeply about a person and wanting the very best for them while being in love expands on that base. that being said, i also believe its possible to love someone you dont talk to, since i havent spoken to or see said ex in about 5 years.
     
  4. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    More like dopamine and oxytocin withdrawal :o
     
  5. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I "love" my parents, my cat, my exs, my friends, myself, etc.

    The only people I am ever "in love" with are my SOs and myself.

    Essentially you're asking the difference between general love and romantic love.
     
  6. giapia

    giapia Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you re

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    there are different types of love. as mentioned above, you can love family, friends, etc. but the being in love pertains only to my SO. however, the unconditional love that i feel for my friends and family are also attached to him alongside being in love with him
     
  7. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Romantic love is just a chemical reaction that triggers in our brains when we meet someone so we end up fucking like rabbits. It's natures way of ensuring the human race survives. Without it we wouldn't be fucking like rabbits and wanting to get married and start a family. And not everyone's brains have the same reaction which is why some people don't want to get married or start a family. And which is also why people 'fall out of love'. Once the chemical reaction goes away (it always does) they will strive for that same feeling with another person.

    'Being in Love' is just something popular culture created for entertainment. (music, plays, movies, etc.)
     
  8. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Not always. Sometimes people get "romantic love" which is based on endorphins and continues to grow stronger over time, but yeah the crazy hot dopamine love fades over time.
     
  9. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Yeah because people haven't been writing about being in love since the invention of the pencil :rolleyes:
     
  10. themolsen

    themolsen New Member

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    The difference between the two is merely semantics, IMO, and is just some bullshit people come up with to formulate excuses and rationalizations for their behaviors.

    "Of course I love you! I'm just not IN love with you anymore. THAT'S why I cheated. It's not you, it's me. See, I'm letting you down easy, isn't this nice?"

    Translation:
    "I don't really know what love means, so when I felt the chemical excitement of meeting you and getting to know you, I assumed that was love. But when that chemical blast wore off (hint: it always does, more or less), even though we still got along great and are best friends, I figured that meant I don't love you anymore so I cheated on you because that's exciting."
     
  11. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    I love a lot of people.

    That being said of those, there a lot whom I cant stand the company of for more than a few hours. Loving someone is deeply caring for their existence and happiness. Being in love with someone is wanting to enjoy their company for your own benefit and the above mentioned.
     
  12. 1.8t

    1.8t Member

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    I tend to agree with this.
     
  13. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    :uh:
     
  14. CalicoJackie

    CalicoJackie New Member

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    :bowdown: exactly.
     
  15. Ivandrago

    Ivandrago I must break you.

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    So can you tell you love someone after only a month or two of being with them, getting to know them, etc.? Could you really trust your emotions to think that is the perfect person for you, the one, the only, etc? :o

    Or would that be 'being in love' with them? :o
     
  16. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I think I'd rather watch flies fuck than sit around and discuss what love is. One of the oldest dead horses that have ever been beaten.
     
  17. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    .
     
  18. JBunni

    JBunni New Member

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    There are for basic types of love: agape, eros, philia, storge.

    Eros being passionate romantic love
    Philia being like friendship love
    Storge being like family love
    And Agape being a deep true love

    So yeah, you could feel some type of love for someone, but not another. As someone said, you can love your family, but you are not "in love" with them.

    I'm pretty sure there is no time you can set on knowing if you are in love. Its something you feel, when you just know and cannot really define it. This may sound overly cliche, but I dont think anyone really finds love, it finds them.
     
  19. Aquakittie

    Aquakittie Active Member

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    But Fly Fucking is the most unique and awesome past time evar...so what you're saying is, you REALLY REALLY wanna beat dead horses off to the thought of discussing what love IS while witnessing fly spermination?!?!?!?!? Plz respond.:rofl:
     
  20. Ivandrago

    Ivandrago I must break you.

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    No...I think he wants to watch flies fuck so he could learn a trick or two. :noes:
     
  21. themolsen

    themolsen New Member

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    Sorry, but what a bunch of BS. Yes, you can love people differently, but there are no labels for love. How the fuck can you distinguish and label something we can't even describe and/or pinpoint? You can throw all these labels for different "kinds" of love, but then how about you define "love?" Good luck. Love is different for everyone in every different context/situation.
     
  22. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    So you're saying the way you feel about a significant other is the same way you feel about your mom?
     
  23. themolsen

    themolsen New Member

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    No. I said of course we can love people differently. But there's no way to label it. Because the way I love my mom is probably totally different from the way you love your mom.

    -edit- people just love labels. It helps folks organize things in their heads. I think love is one thing you cannot label... it's a very abstract thing and frankly, I think it's better that way. It's much too significant and mysterious to be labeled.
     
  24. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I know that what I feel for themolsen's mom is the same as what I feel for significant others :naughty:
     
  25. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    The point of language is to label things, jack. Your argument of subjectivism is irrelevant to the point at hand. There is a difference between romantic love and the love you feel for friends or family. Why are you so opposed to the idea of having different terminology to describe different experiences? Sounds to me like you've just been burned by the "I'm just not 'in love' with you" line and so your bitterness is clouding your judgement.
     

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