Love Stories... A reply/rant on that among other things...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by armond, Dec 26, 2006.

  1. armond

    armond New Member

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    ***Long Post, No Cliffs!!!! Do not read if you can't handle it!!!***


    Love Stories do exist/happen… My experience in living one and getting there in the first place… Some personal views on all things…

    Well rather, romantic guys do exist that can make these stories come true. There just happens to be one problem that goes with the finding or discovery of this mysterious/romantic guy. He is often confused with the stereotypical “nice” guy. My views and society’s views of what a nice guy is are in total conflict. But for the sake of argument, I chose to give the title of romantic to the type of guys a woman might be “dreaming” about. Society puts a negative stigma on guys who give the outward appearance of being nice, and women tend to friendzone these guys and not think anything of it. Yet, when conversing about what they want, the guy is standing right there…

    Respect… The romantic guy does not fit the profile of the “nice” guy; he is not the pushover that is often associated with a man who happens to be courteous, respectful, and traditional. The high regard he holds for women has nothing to do with his willingness to prostrate himself before them and worship the woman, allowing her to trounce all over him. In all regards, it has more to do with a traditional view of women should be taken care of and handled with love/respect. He himself will not be the subject of abuse or disrespect. I for one can tell you I tolerate(d) little else but what I gave out in return in all of my relationships. I expect as much as I give. Not saying I expect it to be some type of I pay half you pay half or whatever. The romantic man will more than likely pull more than his weight because he likes a woman to feel like she is being taken care of. No doubt, if you want to split it down the middle, make it known, and I am sure as a gentleman he will insist on footing the bill. It just works that way for some of us. But don’t stop offering, it shows that you do not expect to be treated every time, and are willing to do your part as well! This will, at least in my case, to put some points on your side for being so considerate.

    I have never tolerated anything but respect from a woman, disrespecting me is basically a crime. I don’t care how beautiful you were in my eyes, by acting like a snob or a gold digger; expect to be seen in a different light and treated as such. Cheating, abuse (verbal or physical), and anything that would lead me to believe you are taking advantage of me are going to be addressed then quickly taken care of.

    Listening… Women have this truly foul way of labeling the guys who listen as those who are just good enough to be friends. When a guy listens, now take this in, it tends to mean two different things… It means both that he is just a good listener and he truly has no thoughts about wanting to be with you or whatnot. Or it could mean that he truly is interested in you and cares enough to listen to your problems and give advice if wanted/needed. Be wary of this. The more information you give a guy who is interested in you, the more trust he is being given, and so of course he feels special. A romantic guy will be a listener. He is not going to disregard what you say, but will take it in and be your shoulder.

    So think about it, the guy you are sharing your feelings with and bearing yourself to just may be that romantic guy you are looking for. You may have never looked at him in that light, because well, you friendzoned his ass some time back. Now, perhaps you can’t look at him in any other light, and so he may not appear to be physically attractive to you or a person you find yourself drawn to. But that is because he is no longer considered a candidate for you; he listens too well to be anything more than a friend… And yet, women want to be with someone that will listen to them and have good communication in that relationship. But a lot of times they don’t realize they want it until they aren’t getting it. Then the quest to change their man has begun! Most men will NOT change, accept it, and realize what you want before you are unlikely to receive it! Now drop that label of nice guy and look around, you may just find what you are looking for!

    Now to some love story type stuff, some examples of being romantic actually. I am no Casanova, but I feel that I make my babe feel special. I call her my babe because that is my nickname for her and the simple fact that I find her to be extremely beautiful and sexy! So she will from this point forward be referred to as my babe or Sue. : )

    Christmas… An already joyous day and a great day to be in a relationship it is. Well actually a short background on all of this before I get started…

    I have known Sue since 1996. We met in high school, freshman year, and were in the same class of course. She was a pretty little thing, 5’3”, maybe 105 pounds, dark brown hair, beautiful brown eyes, great skin, and a truly contagious smile. The thing was I assessed girls on a daily basis at this time anyway. So it wasn’t uncommon for me to list traits and just classify them or rate them. On a scale of 1 to 10 she was rated a 7 at that time in my book. Above the average of 5, and boosted by her features that I truly adore she gained 2 points. I love dark hair and dark eyes; people that is something that has never changed. Well, the thing was I had no true interest in wanting to be with her. I had someone else in mind during this time.

    Well, we became friends extremely fast, mostly in due to our mutual dislike of our Algebra teacher. We did our homework together and talked a lot about anything and everything. As the years continued to pass through high school, we both had our significant others throughout. I knew about hers, she knew about mine, there wasn’t any hiding anything. I mean everything we shared with each other was some intimate stuff we didn’t tell anyone else. From the way we felt, sexual experiences, and frustrations with anyone we were with. This lasted until about a year after we graduated. I was with a girl for along time, and we both had moved separate ways, lost contact because our lives were being controlled by our current relationships. She was in a verbally abusive one and I was in one that I put everything into. Well we met up again about a year or two later, still with our respective S/Os. We exchanged numbers, but never thought it was truly smart to engage in social interaction due to the relationships we were in.

    Well then the truly devastating happened. My g/f broke me, and cheated on me. It had a lot to do with never experiencing being with other people, and we were young. As I said, I am a romantic type of guy, not a pushover, she was quickly kicked to the curb, no questions asked. I then was single, and I enjoyed it by going out to San Antonio for quite some time, and about 3 times a month. Yeah, dark eyes and dark hair brought me down there.

    Approximately a year passes by. I find her phone number in one of my jackets as I was cleaning out my stuff, and I hold onto it. I call it on Christmas and we talked for hours about everything in our lives. She had left her b/f, moved to Florida to intern at Disney. Mostly she did this to get away from where we were from, and to keep the distance from her now ex boyfriend. So throughout her next month there we talked a lot. She called, I called, and we were playing catch up from all that time. It was like we never lost step and kept going. She came home, and we commenced to hanging out and being around each other a lot. She had a handful of other boyfriends at this time and prior, but nothing too serious. Typically she will know within the first 3 months whether you are worth keeping around.

    The funny thing is, being the guy that I am; I tried to help her last boyfriend before me. I tried to get her to give him a chance and to explain some of his actions. She did, and he fucked it all up for himself… Oh well, I tried. That was in October. In November of 2005, feelings started to stir. It was weird, I started to look at her in a different light and started to view her as someone I was interested in dating. Now since the time we got back to talking with each other, some things changed. She gained about 5 pounds in all the right places and she was a little bit more mature. Her points shot up thru the roof. To me she wasn’t a 7, 8, or 9. Rather, she was a 10+. Her personality was still the same but a bit more refined and she has always had her head on straight. Her high standards of morality and ethics were parallel with mine. And her beliefs in everything from religion to our shared love of trying new foods together ran together. Things just clicked in my head.

    Here was the hard part. We were friends from day one, I was never really friendzoned. We both found a friendship we wanted, someone we could trust with all of our secrets and feelings. The risk of losing it all was daunting. I asked her, “So have you ever considered giving us a chance?” She was stunned, totally speechless. She got flustered, scared, and kind of nervous. It was something neither of us had ever brought to the table. She said she had to think; she had to totally take it all in. I brought it up once more, and I got a similar reaction. So I waited about a month. Now we didn’t stop being friends, in fact we got closer and closer… I continued to listen, be her friend, hang out, and just be as normal a possible. But I made my ever so gradual moves. I began to hug her a little differently, compliment her on what she wore, and things got a little more physical. No, we didn’t make out or anything, but massages (foot and back) started to occur. We sat closer and when we talked in quiet places like bookstores and movie theaters we were in each other’s ears. Then finally I couldn’t take it any longer…

    December 3rd, 2005… I was sick, extremely sick. She called in from work to take care of me. She made me soup, hot tea, and made sure I was comfortable. I knew I had to bring it up again; this was just too much to mean nothing. I told her, “Sue, this is the last time I bring this up… If I don’t get an answer, I will take it as a no, and I will move on. I am not saying I will not be your friend; I can never stop being your friend. But I need to know, is there a chance for me, for us?” She was quiet for a second. Then she spoke… “I have been thinking about this since the first time you brought it up… I am scared Armond, really scared. You are my best friend, I tell you everything, and it is really hard to take a gamble on something like this. But I know that without taking a risk, we will never know. So yes, I want to take this chance with you.” Her smile held no lies, and I embraced her. She told me how she had been wanting for me to hold her for some time now and even more so that she wanted me to kiss her. I denied her… I was sick, and so instead I covered her mouth with my hand and kissed the back of my hand. She smiled, and we held each other for the rest of the night.

    She explained to me how her feelings for me got stronger over the past month. She had been in turmoil ever since I expressed my growing feelings for her. She kept justifying why I would be a great boyfriend. I listen, I have common sense, she found me more and more attractive as she looked past being just friends, I could actually dress(I catch a lot of shit for this from females, not in a bad way though) and my beliefs were so identical to hers. It just took that final question from me to show her I was still interested and hadn’t given up on us. But she could feel it that it was my last time trying to be more than just friends.

    But all of this bloomed because she was able to see me as a possibility, more than just as a friend. You have to make moves, subtle or drastic, each woman reacts differently. You can get out of the friendzone; it is NOT a permanent residence in no way shape or form. If someone can see the potential in you or the possibility of you being great with you, they may just take that chance. But in no way shape or form be a pushover. Throughout my buildup to asking Sue the third time, she never once tried to run me over and take advantage. You have to have that on your side, you can’t be some Joe Shmo who is going to get taken advantage of.

    Being romantic… This is not easy. Guys have a tendency to be raised that being in touch with your feelings and expressing yourself are all female traits. Don’t get it fucked up, you do have these feelings too. You do get upset, happy, sad, and angry, etc… So why think that you have to hide these things all the time? In like, because of this we tend not to dwell on what a female would want or what a woman would find romantic. A large percentage of men seem to think that the movies are the only place romance is. Obviously, someone thought of the idea to have it put in the movies. I am sure that a few of these movies were written by men… You catch my meaning? Now I am a true believe that a man has to be in control of his emotions, but there is nothing wrong with expressing them. There are some times where you have to break down or be downright happy-go-lucky about the way you feel!

    Women like to be thought as special. So you have to do things that will stir her emotions and get her thinking.

    I did a few things which I believe did the job and it gave my babe a true sense of how great I really think she is.

    Christmas Day… We had only been together for less than a month. But we knew each other and so it felt like this hadn’t been our first. I played on her likes and dislikes. A week or so before Christmas Day, I brought up the idea that we should go out, buy ourselves a tree, and make it our own. So we did. Some of you may remember the pic, others might not. It was a snow white tree, and we decorated it using silver, white, and blue. Now she thought I was crazy, and wasn’t sure if it would look good. But she wanted snowmen, and so I suggested those colors. Needless to say she told me she never thought a white tree could actually look that good. I give it to my art classes throughout high school for giving me the knowledge on the color wheel ;)

    Anyway, I wrapped all her presents, and had them placed under the tree. Her gifts consisted of a snowman (to commemorate our theme) which was dressed in a green scarf and green hat (her fave color is green). A few Julia Roberts movies (Pretty Woman, Best Friend’s Wedding, and Mona Lisa Smile) which is her favorite actress. A little tee shirt, which had what she described as the most adorable turtle ever saying, “Shut the Shell Up!” on it. And Mario 3 for GBA, we already had the converter for the gamcube. Let me say this, she is an avid Mario brothers fan, and video game player. We will stay up late playing mariokart and the loser of each race taking shots. So be jealous guys! And a stay with me kit. This consisted of a bathrobe, towel set, special shampoo (smelled great, she loved that), toothbrush, and I cleared a drawer in one of my dressers for her. A few more things that played on her personality were there, and a letter where I wrote how she was the greatest Christmas gift I could ever hope to have. She cried, saying that no one has ever really put much thought into her gifts, always just seem to buy the typical stuff like jewelry with no meaning. She said the stay with me gift was the best thing ever. I was happy with knowing she enjoyed it.

    BTW, she NEVER likes opening Christmas/holiday gifts in front of anyone, because she is so used to being disappointed, she doesn’t want them to see her initial reaction. I was the first b/f she ever opened them in front of. All these gifts together ran about $150. It gave her more joy than some $500 necklace

    Her Birthday… So yeah, this one was tough too. I mean her b-day is 4 days after Christmas, and in her history most people in her life have just put the two together. That is just ridiculous; her birth is a special day in its own right. So I decided to do it the right way. I went out and found a simple little charm bracelet. And I found 5 charms to put on it.

    1. A charm that says “Sexy and Cute” Needless to say I view her as both.
    2. A martini glass which I used to symbolize her social life and how fun and laid back she is.
    3. A little green turtle, her fave animal and fave color!
    4. A little silver cross, symbolizing her love of God and her extremely high ethics.
    5. A charm that says Princess, because well, she is my princess!

    She loved the bracelet, and to top that off I got her a dozen roses and took her out to eat at her favorite restaurant, the Cheesecake Factory. Yes, that is a great restaurant, they don’t just server cheesecake!

    This special day costed me a little bit, mostly because I wanted her to feel special on her day, and I did a lot of extras, you are talking about $300. But b-days only come once a year! I wanted her to have something that was made for her, and sometimes you have to pay a little bit more for that, but her face was all I needed in return…

    New Year’s Eve… This one way seem a no brainer and might have been viewed as slightly wreckless. I had to work that night, she was up in Dallas because her friend was getting married the next day, so they were having the get together for it, rehearsal dinner/party. I could not call out that day, but I told her I would be there before midnight. Now Dallas, or rather the place I had to get to was about 4 hours away from where I lived. I get off work at 9:30pm. I hauled ass and got there at 11:57! I didn’t miss a turn or anything, and got there on the first try. I was on the phone with the groom to be, and my g/f had a few drinks in her. He told her I was almost here, and she was like, “no way, that is so far and not enough time.” So when I showed up, he told her, “He is here…” She said, “no way!” She came outside and there I was, at 11:57pm with a rose in my hand and a tired smile on my face. She had a sly little smile and that cute little look she gives me. She then literally jumped on me and commenced to PDA in front of everyone. It was funny, people were cheering us on, and these were the famly members of the bride and groom to be!

    This costed nothing except a tank of gas and about 5 dollars for a single rose (max). The point here, is that it is the effort that was put into me getting there.

    Valentine’s Day… I called into work, but she had no clue. So she had an earlier shift than me, and had to leave to go to work at around 3:30 in the morn. I left about 15 minutess after her, and went to wal mart where I picked up some balloons (red and white), ribbon, some nice looking paper, calligraphy pen ink, and a few little things to go along with my theme. I then commenced to write her little love letters on each piece of paper, expressing how much I love her and what I love about her. Example, “I love the way you look soaking wet, wrapped in a towel, and with no makeup.” I put that one in the bathroom on the mirror. Well I used the ribbon (red and white) and intertwined it throughout the house, guiding her to certain areas where she would find these notes and some token of my love. I then hid in the house, but had hidden my car in the woods, so she wouldn’t know I was home. She was thinking I was at work. When she came home and saw what all I had done, I could hear her. She was saying, “Oh my GOD!,” “When did he have time?!?!.” “I can’t believe this!” The smile in her voice was contagious, I started to grin.

    Well she messaged me because she thought I was at work, saying how wonderful I was and how great it made her feel. I messaged her back, playing along basically not giving her the knowledge I was in the house. I then walked out, scared the bejeezus out of her, and I handed her a single red rose. She loved me for that one I can tell you that! I then cooked her homemade (yes, homemade, dough and everything) pizza and we drank wine with it!

    You are looking at something like $50-$65 bucks. It was not that expensive, it just takes more effort than what most men are willing to take. Believe me, it means more than how much you spend on her.

    St. Patrick’s Day… Not a truly romantic holiday, but you can express to her how lucky she makes you feel. I did it by cutting out clovers in several different shades of green and hiding them throughout the house. She would find them throughout the day and just smile and come and hug me out of nowhere. It was great! Green being her favorite color also helped. You have to work with what you got. We then went out and had an Irish themed everything at good old Bennigan’s.

    $50 bucks because of the restaurant and mostly cause of the drinks we had! ;)

    Out of nowhere… I believe these are key. You are finding that you want her to feel special on days that seem normal, not just holidays. For instance, one day it got cold as hell. So I took it upon my self to wake up extra early, and make her a keep warm gift. I got her some thermal socks, some warm gloves, hand warmers, microwaveable soup, a thermos, and some hot cocoa! I then got home, boiled some water and made the hot cocoa. She had something warm to drink throughout the whole day! She had something warm to eat too. She loved the idea, and her coworkers were jealous as usual whenever I did things for her.

    You have to let her know that she is special even on days that aren’t normally special. You need to emphasize she makes the day special for you and that you appreciate it. Now if she takes it for granted, halt all of this and reassess whether she is worth all this effort and in turn your time.

    Days before I left to Kuwait… About a week before I left to Kuwait, I decided to get her a promise ring. Yeah, I know, cliché or typical. But I am not a fool; it is all in the delivery. We have this tendency to turn all the lights out, have music playing, and try to scare the crap out of each other while trying to hide in the dark! So I decided to use this.

    I went to a jewelry store, found a very simple and stylish ring. When I say stylish I do not mean gaudy or stupidly large or tacky looking. It had a Princess cut diamond, and a baguette on either side (I think I spelled it right?!). It was in 18k white gold and I had lifted one of her rings to get her size right. Well a few nights before I left, we were playing in the dark, and I had a flashlight and the ring in my pocket. Well when we found each other, we made out of course, and then I opened the box and slipped the ring on. I turned the flashlight on and shined it on her finger, and she gasped. I then held her and told her the promises I was going to keep. We held each other for a long time, talking about the future and how much we meant to each other.

    She wears that ring daily… It does not come off. Her sisters and friends told me she can never be seen without it. She won’t take it off she said until I come home and or I replace it (you know what she means ladies and gentlemen) she said. No worries, I plan to replace it in Paris, France. ;)

    Anyway, being in Kuwait, I had plenty of time to type this up. Not much else to do here. But it stirred a lot of memories up in me. And I certainly hope it gave some people some insight. I know I know, it is a long post, but I hope it was worth the time to read.

    -Armond
     
  2. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    The distinction between romantic, and nice, is always comforting to hear about. Thanks.
     
  3. armond

    armond New Member

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    We probably have similar views on it, people mistake being nice for being weak. But they need to reassess and realize that those guys who are getting run over are not nice guys, they are pushovers who really have little respect for themselves.
     
  4. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

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    Rock on, my man! You are da bomb!
     
  5. armond

    armond New Member

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    Hey there, thanks for reading! And you are such a gooooood wife! LOL
     

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