SRS Love Hurts, Don't You Agree?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by PuppyCat, Aug 30, 2005.

  1. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    Love does not die overnight, or in a few days. Love dies like a flower that has been thrust up between cracks in cement, straining to reach the sun, thirsting for water, hoping it's lovliness will be noticed knowing full well that it won't dance in the sun, its thirst will never be sated, and no one will ever see its beauty. Then, finally one day, after a very long struggle, filled with hope, for what else is there in life but hope? The flower, and all its glory, resigns itself and gives up the fight; it knows the struggle to stand proud and in the sun was all for naught. It bows its head and the leaves which once wrapped itself for protection and comfort, let go and the flower stands alone. The flower starts drooping, as it makes its journey back toward where it came, just another hope that was a crack in cement that grew by chance, struggled against all odds to grow, blossom and stand proudly in the sun.


    I wish hate would come.
    It would make me stronger.
     
  2. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    love does make us stronger, so does overcoming the struggles that come with losing it.
     
  3. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    i disagree. loving doesn't hurt and neither does losing someone that you love. of course you come through rough times, but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. ;)

    each experience... each lover... is something new learned.

    keep your spirits high :)
     
  4. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Loving the wrong person hurts. Loving the right person doesn't.

    I have been hurt before and it REALLY hurt, but you get over it and make sure the next one inflicts less pain. Eventually you will end up with the right one who would never hurt you..EVER (at least not intentionally :p)
     
  5. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Look at it this way Puppycat....

    Even roses don't blossom unless they're cut every once in a while....

    boy I hope that is true! :hsd: I'm no gardener.
     
  6. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    I did not know you had poet in you Toasty. :wavey:
     
  7. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    you've obviously never had a mishap with a chainsaw...

    just an attempt to lighten it up.

    to the original poster. yes, love can, and does hurt. attempting to put on a happy face all the time, and pretending it doesn't hurt is no more healthy than obsessing, ranting, raving or sulking. each in moderation are healthy ways of dealing with loss. Any in extreme are unhealthy.
     
  8. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Any hurt that you experience in life doesn't come from love but from the lack of love.
     
  9. JW2

    JW2 New Member

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    I read that first and strongly disagreed in my mind. Then, when I read it again, it made complete sense. I like that.

    I'm afraid, at least to me, that realization doesn't make it any easier to deal with though. :hsd:
     
  10. hondaluva

    hondaluva likes free hugs...

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    Damn, that post hits home really deep...

    I feel like i am turning into two types of people. One who is very nice, charming, very classy, and wants to love everyone; and actually believes that Ms. Right will come along someday, and has hope/expectations in a lot of other things.

    The other is a bold, flirty guy who dosen't really care about relationships, or much about anything. Goal number one is to simply have fun. Pushes buttons and takes risks at times, and is not afraid to burn bridges. There is no such thing as Ms. Right, and has no hope or no expectations in anything.

    Oh and imo, love is like setting yourself on fire and hoping that you don't get burned.
     
  11. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    That's the problem. You have to let yourself fall first. Open yourself up to pain and heartbreak and pray you don't get hurt :hsd:
     
  12. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Well, I guess everyone's perspective is their own, and it's a shame that for you, at the present time in your life, you think of love in those terms.

    It doesn't have to be like that though. Sometimes it just gets better with age, as your peers and love choices age and grow wise. Sometimes it takes tremendous personal effort and growth on your part.

    Who you attract is a reflection of yourself. Improve yourself and watch the world mysteriously become a sunnier, more pleasant place to be.
     
  13. anonymous

    anonymous New Member

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    man, if only you would talk to my (ex?)bf about that! hehe He feels the same way as this person:



    He's been hurt in the past which is why he wanted to end the relationship. He didn't want to get burned again so he thought that by ending the relationship while things were still good, we'd still be good friends. Boy was he ever wrong!
     
  14. hondaluva

    hondaluva likes free hugs...

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    Feel free to read these 2 posts of mine to get a better understanding of my POV on things.

    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?p=41060735#post41060735

    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?p=41146702#post41146702
    read the last 4 or 5 paragraphs.

    If there is anything that you are right on, its the taking tremendous personal effort. I feel that in order for me to ordeal with the gf's that i have had, one must have lots of stamina. It also needs a lot of stamina from breaking down or freaking out. That is good, but i hate it when people take it to the extreme, However, i don't want to turn on my poker face to someone that i care about.

    I strongly disagree about who i attract being a reflection of myself. For instance, i am a VERY honest person and i do not see honest people being attracted to me. If it really was a reflection, then the first (or the angelic) half of me should've found an angel by now.

    I have given up on the concept of looking for love, and i am more concentrated in regards to gettin my life together. losing some weight, Erasing my debt, gettin my own place, getting something of a small career path setup, and i might go for my mba. I'll have some personal fun on the way, cause i always like to have fun, and if that leads to fooling around in other ways then so be it, but i won't get into anything serious.
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2005
  15. hondaluva

    hondaluva likes free hugs...

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    Personally, the only difference between a relationship and a friendship is the "sense of security" or exclusivity, and the label. Besides that, nothing really changes. Some may argue intimiacy, but usually those intimate feelings develop before you are a "bf/gf"

    I believe that he had reasonable intentions, however if that is the way he felt, neither of you should've entered (or rather give it the label of) a "relationship" from the get go.

    I know this may be a bit akward way to think about relationships, but give it a moment to digest.
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2005
  16. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :rofl: not a chainsaw, no... but of course i've been hurt. actually, :o, i've learned more about myself and relationships in 2005 than i have in any previous years. it just seems that there's a new lesson planned for each month. i don't mind it because i'm up for any and all challenges. i've become a strong(er) person because of it.

    but ya... i've been hurt, i've cried, and i thought that life would end or something :rofl: :o. we move on, we learn from our experiences, and i'm sorry, but i'm not going to let it allow me to remain bitter.
     
  17. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    sounds fairly healthy. just want to make sure that nobody assumes that clinging to the "I'll be happy, don't have to grieve a failed relationship, and putting on a false smile will make it all better" philosophy. That doesn't work either.

    I tried it :sadwavey:
     
  18. anonymous

    anonymous New Member

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    See, that's the thing. We were friends for several months before he decided he wanted to enter into a relationship. Then, as normal people do, you start to care more about the person when there is a bf/gf label there. I guess I cared too much (or so he says so) and I believe he wanted to take a break because he thought that by downgrading our status back to friends again, that I wouldn't care as much about him than if he were my bf and that he didn't have to care as much about how I felt about him, either. But he was wrong in thinking that (if that's his thinking) because once I start caring more about someone, it doesn't mean I'll care less about them because of the status change.

    PS. I read your post in this thread: http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?p=41146702#post41146702

    You sound a lot like my bf, regarding takes on relationships. He's been hurt in the past by his exes. He tells me that he thought they were "the ones" and they would always talk about the future, and then he found out they cheated on him. So basically, I got all the "baggage" he has with relationships. He keeps stating how he's learned that relationships can't be controlled and no matter how much you want it to work, he's learned that you can't control it to turn out good. Then he starts stating how he's seen his friends be in relationships for a couple months or several years, and you think everything is going great for them, but then they end up breaking up. So he's in the mindset that relationships don't last.
     
  19. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    :sadwavey: So what DID work? Share, please.
     
  20. hondaluva

    hondaluva likes free hugs...

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    Its funny how not just him, but other people believe that just by "demoting" your relationship to a friendship that those feelings will go away. That is something that i realised that has to go away over time; most people cannot switch them overnight unless something really bad happend (ie cheat w/ another person), which in your case it didn't.

    I'd put 10 to 1 odds that things got "too close" for his own good. Perhaps he wanted a "dating girlfriend" instead of something a bit more serious. I also hate to say it, but many times people don't know what to do when they have a good thing going.

    In my book, you cared too much = you are too good for me, or you are too much for me.


    I guess i do sound a lot like your bf. I believe that he is 100% right: relationships cannot be controlled, and while we are at it, feelings and the feeling of being in love basically cannot be controlled either.
     

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