SRS Love ... help.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by DrifterificSil80, Jan 18, 2005.

  1. DrifterificSil80

    DrifterificSil80 New Member

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    I've fallen in love. But the situation is VERY strange. She was married to my best friend. My best friend got a roomate to live in his house with him and his wife. She left him for the roomate and they moved into an apartment together. She is preganant with her "husbands" kid. The ex roomate really likes her and would take care of the kid but she kinda' wants to go back to her original husband. He isn't sure if he wants her back after all that. And for some reason I am TERRIBLY TERRIBLY (I know there is an E in there somewhere) in love with her. I think about her 24/7. I dream about her. I have known her for something like three years. What do I do. I want to tell her but I don't just want to be a 'fallback' or something. It's driving me insane, help me please.

    Here is the dream I just had of here last night:

    The whole first part is pretty much a complete blank, I only vaguely remember bits and pieces of it, not enough to explain ... well, except that it was about me and her. After the first part is when I can remember most of the stuff. We were on a motorcycle, (as far as I can remember), and were going down a dirt road with tall trees lining the sides, like a mountain. With a school bus following us. I remember telling her that we got to stay in the house instead of the cabin with everyone else, everyone else being I don't know. As we turn a corner there is a house with, what looked like someone was building a new deck out of cut down trees, and we both were talking about why they needed a new deck when they could use something else, what that something else was is beyond me. As we go by the house I look to my right and there is a huge clearing with a cabin near the entrance and one of us mentions that we aren't staying there, so we go down to the next entrance that leads into the same clearing and see about five or six houses, and we turn there. We go by one of the houses and I ask her if that's where we were going to stay, she says no and points to another house and tells me that that is where we are going to stay. So we get next to the house and go inside, and it's a pretty good sized house, three windows in a row on two levels, Someone else has entered the house with us, I don't know whom but I am assuming that they are with us or the group or whatever that came to stay in the cabin because we don't interact with him and don't seem bothered by him either. The only thing that he says is what level we each want to stay on. This is where it gets confusing, we start wandering around one of the levels, assuming that it's the bottom floor because that's where we entered in from, but eventually we walk down to the top floor... I don't understand either. Anyways, we start wandering around and everything is white or a color close to white on the bottom floor, we walk into the living room and that's all that I remember seeing on that level. Then she says that she wants the top level, in which I agree because it would be safer. So I put her up onto my shoulders and carry her down to the top level, (wierd huh?). When we are walking down the stairs there is a part where the cieling is low so I tell her to duck down and when we go under the low cieling part she falls forward and I catch her in my arms. I stare into her eyes for a second and ask her if she's alright and she says yes so I put her down on her feet and we continue through the "bottom-top" level. We first go into a bedroom, the colors I cannot remember, and she is standing there looking around and this is when I first notice what she is wearing, she is wearing her blue pj's. So I walk over next to her and pick her up again onto my shoulders and we head towards another room, (...?), and she says something so I ask her if she wants to be put down, she says no and scratches her lower tummy and mumbles something, and then I ask her why she sounds sad ... And that's when I woke up.

    Can someone interprit it for me or tell me what it could mean? Thank you.
     
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

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    What level do you want our relationship to be on? Top level, meaning open to the world, for all to see, not hidden. You carry her up there, but there's something in the way (of course).
    There's someone else wandering around... and of course there is. There's at least two other people in this twisted little menage a quatre.
    She rubs her tummy -- where the baby is -- and naturally sounds sad.

    Anyways, the details, although fascinating to you personally, are not particularly illuminating. At least not in a therapeutic sense.

    Honestly, this is a train wreck with bodies strewn everywhere. You would do well to remove yourself before you lose a limb.

    You know this is a bad situation. I very much doubt that "love will conquer all". And anyways, who's love should win out here? Yours? The husband's? The lover/ex-lover? I'd say you're a distant third in this little shakespearean troika of madness.

    I was going to say you should just confess your love to her and get it over with.

    But I think she probably has a penchant for major drama, and she'd probably love to add another victim to her collection of adoring suitors, which will mean several wasted years of your life, and probably child support payments on top of that.

    She might even see you as a logical and convenient escape route out of the mess...until something else develops. And I shouldn't need to tell you, that that ain't love.

    Come on, there's other women in the world. Sane ones. Moral ones.

    Leave her and her husband and lover alone to work out their differences. They don't need yet another complicating factor.
     
  3. katt_85

    katt_85 OT Supporter

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    Google Dream Dictionary, and look up key themes, objects , people in your dream.
    As for your situation ... Wow.


    Give them a chance to try and work out their differences. They have kids together/one on the way , and should try and work it out. If their marriage crumbles completly without further interferance , and you still want to be with her, than go for it?
     
  4. DrifterificSil80

    DrifterificSil80 New Member

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    Wow, that's some good advice. Thanks guys/gals.

    A little dis-heartning (sp?) but probably what I needed to hear.

    Again, thanks much.
     
  5. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    this is a jerry springer type train wreck in progress. my advice is to jump ship and not look back. this girl's life is an absolute mess and i doubt you'd want to get involved in that.

    what you're feeling isn't love, it's desire for unknown. i really feel you can't be in love with someone until it's returned. until then, it's just some image of her that you have in your head that you feel you are in love with, because you don't really know her until she feels the same way about you and has opened up. you may think you know her from being friends, but you don't really know someone until you have an intimate relationship.

    not to be nosey, but your profile says you were born on June 2, 1986 which would make you 18 now? you don't want a girl that has a kid at your age. do you really want to waste the best years of your life living to support someone else's kid? do you want to have to face your "best friend" every time he comes over because he will be entitiled to visitation? when i was 18 i thought i was in love. then i got a new gf and thought i was in love. i got dumped by her and found a new gf and thought i was in love. you'll move on and life will be ok with out her.
     
  6. IMJ

    IMJ The Bitch

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    Wow you really want to get in the middle of that? Whoa.
     
  7. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    Yeah your dreaming about her...Fast foward several years she's married to you, has several other guys on the side, wants a divorce, half of your income and all of your 401k. This girl will mess up your life.
     

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