Love and Cheating

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by StarBrite, Apr 28, 2005.

  1. StarBrite

    StarBrite Guest

    Would it be stupid to stay with someone you love that has cheated on you?

    My SO and I have been together for almost a year. We've had trust issues from the start mostly because we have both cheated in past relationships. He thinks that I've cheated on him, but I haven't. I'm very much in love with him and I don't want to be with anyone else. Because he thinks I've cheated on him, he slept with someone else. He claims that he loves me but did it because he "knows" that I've been doing the same. I don't think that this justifies his actions at all. I love him very much and he is so important to me, but I'm starting to think that maybe it's time to walk away. Any serious advice or suggestions? :hs:
     
  2. Scott7

    Scott7 New Member

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    Sounds like he has some major trust issues with you...you should sit him down and tell him everything.
     
  3. oradii

    oradii www.oteampress.com

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    to much drama, prolly will never work all that out

    but you never know till you sit down and have that heart to heart
     
  4. StarBrite

    StarBrite Guest

    I really do think that we could work through our issues. I think that two people who love each can work through anything. We've talked about going to counseling. I think that it would really help. I'm not even 100% sure he cheated on me. I think he may just be saying that to see if I'll admit to anything (again, I have nothing to admit to).
     
  5. oradii

    oradii www.oteampress.com

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    really the only thing you can do is talk to him, tell him you're going to be 10000% honest and you wanna work this out

    i think you already know what you gotta do..
     
  6. StarBrite

    StarBrite Guest

    Thanks for the positive advice guys
     
  7. Yes have some!

    Yes have some! Active Member

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    Walk away and find yourself a man who is secure with himself.
     
  8. Scott7

    Scott7 New Member

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    Yuppa...g/l
     
  9. bitetobreakskinn

    bitetobreakskinn Blinky the Christmas Ghost

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    The only thing you can really do is talk about it, and make sure that you're both understanding where the other person is coming from. The spiteful hookups are just going to cause a lot of problems in the future, so you should at least make sure you bring that up.
     
  10. Penny1484

    Penny1484 cute but kind of evil

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    regardless if u love him, the relationship can't work if he has such low esteem in you. he doesnt trust you at all. and why should you trust him? he HAS cheated on you. what is going to stop him from doing it again, especially since he doesnt believe that you havent? dump him.
     
  11. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Love alone is never enough. A long lasting and fulfiling relationship doesn't even require love to work.
     
  12. Seoulmate

    Seoulmate New Member

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    i've been in a similar situation. boyfriend cheated but i loved him and decided to stay and work things out...been trying to work things out for the past damn year and no luck really. what he did will always be in the back of my mind. if you can honestly move past what he did, trust him completely and have him trust you too, then there's hope. you both gotta be willing. but the fact that you don't believe him when he says he cheated is a bad sign.
     
  13. PunkInDrublic

    PunkInDrublic Active Member

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    My girlfriend cheated on her last boyfriend. I've had trust issues from day one, but I'm slowly getting over them, and I'm really good at not letting them out into the open. I've often thought that cheating on her would be good insurance to ever having that done to me. This, however, is purely fantasy. I could never bring myself to do that. Even if I had the opportunity, which I don't see, it would shatter my morality, and I would be utterly disgusted with myself.

    I guess that story isn't much on advice, but basically what I'm saying is that if I ever did do something like that, I don't think she should stay with me. I wouldn't want her to. I just wish I had absolute security that she would never do the same.
     
  14. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    :werd:

    Thats all that really needs said.
     
  15. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    It depends, but if he used a lie to justify his actions, that's flat out immature.
     
  16. lilceez112

    lilceez112 New Member

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    he just said that to get away with it.



    move on. he isnt gonna stop cheating cause he can use the same excuse every time.
     
  17. The Scientist

    The Scientist New Member

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    :ugh: SORRIEST EXCUSE EVER! He ASSUMED you were cheating...so he took it upon himself to cheat "too" :ugh2:? So every freaking time he ASSumes something you're doing, he's going to go and do the same thing? Give me a break. He's worthless and stupid IMO.

    You said so yourself the relationship has trust issues. Newsflash here: Without trust, you have nothing in any type of relationship. Trust is everything. You open the door for destruction when you lack it because you're constantly speculating and worrying over things; never fully getting to kick back, relax and let things go.

    Before this continues to get even in more depth than what it already is, I'd end it. Its already failed if you ask me. Him cheating cause he thought you were is just the stupidest thing ever and some Kindergarten bullshit...."he took my crayon so I broke his..." Teacher: "But Billy, your Crayon is over here..." "Oh..." Just childish. Damage has been done. Just let it go and move on or prepare yourself to get screwed over coming and going so he can blanket it with such pathetic excuses as the one above.
     

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