SRS Lost

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by di3soft, Jul 5, 2007.

  1. di3soft

    di3soft Guest

    Ive never felt this kind of feeling before, it feel like some ones been jumping on my chest. This is the price we pay to play this game we call life. It all comes down all at once and you cant stop it, I actually have no urge to do anything, this is a new and very disturbing feeling.

    Wrote this no more than 5 minutes ago

    Tomorrow is another start
    But it looks like everyday
    Where nothing ever changes
    And everyone's the same
    Nobody cares
    Of who they hurt
    Nobody cares
    Of who they betray
    I thought you would be different
    I thought that you would care
    And now I see
    Your just like everybody else


    I dont know how to feel, how to act, Im lost
     
  2. inyoeye

    inyoeye huh?

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    any change in your life?
     
  3. di3soft

    di3soft Guest


    actually yes, its weird how your feelings change in a matter of moments, i was devastated earlier, then angered, then something clicks in your head and you jut stop giving a shit, i just don't care, i feel completely fine now, its very strange how the human mind works. I'm going out today with my friends to the lake going to fuck around on a jet boat then movie, and tomorrow we are camping for the weekend so I'm set, I'm actually happy this happened I just hope I don't relapse and fall back into it.
     
  4. Redliner7

    Redliner7 New Member

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    Hang tough. I'm going thru that as we speak. Over some girl too, which pisses me off the most. :rolleyes: I think I'm angered at myself for letting myself get this way. :hs:
     
  5. di3soft

    di3soft Guest


    oh yea, i know, i want to beat the shit out of my self for letting me do this to my self
     
  6. Redliner7

    Redliner7 New Member

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    It's like a snowball effect I guess. Girls don't scare me, but when I get emotionally involved, I lose it slightly. They do things, I let it slide... I lose my cool a little bit, But I maintain in front of them...but somehow, I lose a little more control. Slowly, but surely, I lose a little more of it. And a little more. Next thing you know, I'm ass bent backwards, trying to figure out what happened. And how I let me, who didn't give a damn in the world, and had things figured out for ME and what I needed to do to control my life, my future... let a GIRL throw it into a 180. Fuck that. I'm here to take back control of my damn life. I'm tired of showing her my cards.

    probably not you, but damn, that's how I feel right now :o

    PS: I remember your gear getting stolen in the AP forum, did you ever get it back? Tough luck :hs:
     
  7. PanzerAce

    PanzerAce Active Member

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    Goddamn, that was me about 2...3 months ago. If you take the advice people give here (cut it all off, etc), it does get better :hs:
     
  8. di3soft

    di3soft Guest


    Thats actually exactly how I feel, it fucken disturbing, i cut off all contact with her and im through, and yes i did get my gear back but haven't been taking any photos, been to busy with work and trying to figure everything out
     
  9. Redliner7

    Redliner7 New Member

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    It's easy when they don't talk to you or say anything...suddenly when you get a text or phone call, all those emotions come flooding back in and I'm all :hs: again. I miss that attention taht she gave me, somehow it fulfilled me. So I talk to her, and I hope things will turn around....hope. What a pisser of a word.
     
  10. di3soft

    di3soft Guest

    ya exactly I told her exactly how I feel and then I sai good bye now I see now she doesnt care cause it didn't even stun her. Its seems like they are all th same thyy use until something new comes along and they move on leaving the ones they hurt to fend for them selfs in depression I'm off camping so maybe it will maybe help me feel better I'm writing every day and I'm going back onthe meds to help me along we'll see I guess
     
  11. Redliner7

    Redliner7 New Member

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    Thanks viper, I'll read that in a bit.

    I'm not sure where I'm at. I'm freezing, cold, and lost. I laid out a map for me, and was on the ride of my life. Someone stole the map, burned it up, and now I'm lost. Trying to find my way back. I haven't made that step to cut her out of my life yet. But if it comes down to that....oh boy. I won't allow myself to get depressed...but sonnva...it's hard. Trying to keep busy to just move my mind along. Some friends of mine invited me to a party taht I know she'll be at. Trying to find something else to do other than sit at home or be at that party. Fawk.

    Good Luck mate, I hope it goes well for you camping. :hsd:
     

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