Losing your innocence. My take on First gf/bf scenerios and how it affects us later

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Bam Bam, Feb 12, 2005.

  1. Bam Bam

    Bam Bam Guest

    I wonder how many times these heartbreaking situations have been played out.


    Scenerio #1 - For the girls - Their first b...oyfriend is a year or two older. Maybe even more. Girls are usually around 15-18 when they lose their virginity - with b...oyfriends who are 18-22. Cue the sugar daddy scenerio with little girl depending on the older guy to teach her everything. The girl has it easy at first because she can put all her faith into the older guy and let him control the entire relationship. The guy usually has a c...ar that the girl loves because it makes her look 'totally' cool infront of her car-less friends. The guy is usually real smooth and is really just looking for some young, fresh, virgin pussy - with no plans of a really l...ong term relationship. Just long enough to get the panties and have bragging rights for popping her cherry. Meanwhile, the girl is madly in love and would do anything for the guy. She starts dreaming about marriage, and having kids together, thinking they'll be together forever. She falls for every word he tells her. After a few months of breaking in the stiff virgin girl, the older guy finally accomplishes his goal and pops her cherry. The girl then becomes even more attached. Too attached. The guy gets bored with her immaturity and her neediness. A few months later he dumps her and leaves her heartbroken. The girl doesnt know what went wrong and blames herself, sometimes adopting a low self-esteem. She spends months waiting for him to come back to her in a deep state of depression. Finally she realizes its over and cries herself to sleep everyday for the next year and a half. Some may figure "I'm not pure and innocent anymore, I need to have fun!" and become sluts. Girls learn that guys are "a$$holes" and only want one thing, but they still wont want a "nice guy".


    Scenerio #2 - For the boys : Usually around the same age although they are usually a bit older, 16-19. But the one thing about this which is different is that the boys dont get any sex. Boys fall for a cute/hot girl from afar and start jerking off while thinking about her. One day the boy finally musters up enough courage to talk to her and they hit it off. The girl may or may not like him back. He asks her out to a movie or they just hang out at each others houses or whatever and become close. The boy doesnt know when or how to put on the moves and kiss her. I've seen and heard of so many occasions where a guys ASKS a girl if he can kiss her, which usually ruins it. He gets turned down by the girl and is baffled as to why she wont reciprocate. He doesnt take charge or control the situation which further digs him a relationship grave. The girl then gives him the "I like you...but youre like a brother to me. LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS". He agrees to be friends with hopes that one day she'll change her mind. The boy is then strung along by the girl he was so into. She gives him occasional hugs, they hold hands, maybe even cuddle and share sweet words. A few months after he thinks she is finally starting to break and that she is getting feelings for him too. He thinks he learnt his lesson and this time he starts taking her out, paying for movies and food, showers her with presents and pampers her like a princess while she secretly laughs at how much of a fool he is. This is why girls learn they can use men and become Gold Diggers. The girl ends up using him because she loves the attention and ego-boost from this desperate sucker. She gets his hopes high before leaving him down and out. The guy thinks it's his "lucky day" and tries moving in on her again only to be shot down hard once again by the d!ck-tease. At this point the girl may decide she doesnt need him anymore and moves on to a new guy, leaving her well-intentioned and caring "just a friend" heartbroken and confused. After being used and strung along, still not knowing what went wrong, It may take up to a year or possibly even more for the boy to get over it and move on. The once innocent and caring "nice guy" learns his lesson from experience, and becomes a "bad boy".



    Now this bitter and jaded "bad boy" will move on and find a new girl. He'll be desperate to finally lose his virginity and get some action after all the d!ck-teasing. The funny thing is he'll typically find a younger girl. Refer to scenerio #1! He'll pick up a younger and inexperienced girl and end up using her without too much remorse because he lost respect for females. And that younger girl who he picks up likely had a "just a friend" who she ditched to be with him ("the bad boy"). After she gets her heartbroken she may realize that the guy who took her virginity just used her and she wouldve been beater off with the caring "nice guy" who she treated like crap. She then beats herself up over it and starts making crazy and unrealistic idealizations about the next "man of her dreams" thinking she can blend a nice guy personality with a badboy one, and trying to change and improve her next guy. Meanwhile the once sappy "nice guy" turned "bad boy" starts hitting the bars and taking home random sluts. And after all the heartbreaking and healing is over with, the once innocent and pure boys and girls turn into young men and woman. However the game playing is deeply inbedded in their psyche and this carries on into the 20's, hence all the game playing we see in clubs and bars. Then after sleeping around and playing the field, we all sooner or later decide it's time to "settle down" usually around mid to late 20's or early 30s. We get desperate to find someone to start a family with and end up SETTLING for someone who isnt as "special" as our first love. Female biological clocks start ticking and they find the first man they can and get desperate and force things, which is why there are so many divorces.

    The vicious cycle never ends..!


    p.s
    I know there are some couples that find "true love" without the game playing, and these are usually the high school sweethearts who love each other equally and go on to get married and end up bored as hell in their 30's and want to experiment/cheat because they missed out on so much when they were young.

    And that folks, is basically human relationships between men and women.


    The point to the story is we're all doomed. And if you DO have someone who youre truly, madly, deeply in love with someone - never let them go.


    I'm finally getting over my first girlfriend and had to get this off my chest after observing and reading about so many other peoples experiences. It seems like the majority of us go through the same things. I posted this over at the askmen forums and decided to post it here too to. Just my 2 cents.
    -Bam Bam
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 12, 2005
  2. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2002
    Messages:
    83,903
    Likes Received:
    457
    Location:
    Irmo, SC
    On Topic --> Vaginarium
     
  3. Bam Bam

    Bam Bam Guest

    oops. Wrong forum. Sorry about that.
     
  4. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2003
    Messages:
    8,692
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    This theory has some merits :eek3:
     
  5. Fearan

    Fearan Guest

    I hope I'm lucky enough to be in the sweetheart relationship class without getting bored. :eek3:
     
  6. weakone

    weakone New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2003
    Messages:
    24,490
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    ny
    :werd:
     
  7. BAM

    BAM betterthanyou'er OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2002
    Messages:
    79,835
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    :squint: how dare you even think of having my name.
     
  8. drewplusbrig

    drewplusbrig Guest

    you know...

    i am 20, my last girlfriend was my age, and left me for an older guy


    now im dating a 16 year old...
     
  9. Bam Bam

    Bam Bam Guest

    Sorry to hear about that drew! Atleast you found a younger girl. It happens all the time.


    Just remember, girls get OLD with age....Guys dont get old, we get distinguished.

    When females start hitting their 30's and 40's...they blow up. The ass gets fat. Titties start sagging down. Stretch marks are all over. They're damaged goods by that time.

    At that same time, the worst that will happen to most guys is maybe a little beer gut and balding (which isnt necessarily bad)
     
  10. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2004
    Messages:
    1,101
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    ,,,_(õ_Ô)_,,,
    Interesting.
     
  11. AngelsWing

    AngelsWing New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2004
    Messages:
    147
    Likes Received:
    0
    I would say that a beer gut isn't the greatest of things... or even balding for that matter. You know, aging isn't supposed to be some wonderful, miraculous process in which you start looking better... What sense would that make? And you know, not every female has the sagging and fatass problem... as long as they take care of themselves and don't get bombarded with degrading comments from men like you :squint:
     
  12. Ghostaz0r

    Ghostaz0r With my ego, I can stand there in a Speedo, and be

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2004
    Messages:
    1,071
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston, MA // Cornell University
    Finding a girl relatively the same age as you -> beating both situations
     
  13. MattyCakes

    MattyCakes Guest

    Bam Bam, you have lots of respect for women. I can tell by some of your posts.
     
  14. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    18,744
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Toronto
    sex and innocence have absolutely nothing to do with one another; its a completely arbitrary pseudo-christian/religiouse notion.
     
  15. OOTSABryan

    OOTSABryan New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2002
    Messages:
    2,842
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South Texas
    hjk
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2008
  16. russd10089

    russd10089 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2003
    Messages:
    296
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Central Illinois
    Reminds me of HS, lol.

    To this day (i'm 23 now) If i meet a woman, and we hit it off well, and end up sleeping together, going through all the other relationship things. Then she says "we should just be friends" I say, "no, if that's what you want, just don't call me anymore, goodbye"

    I'm the "nice guy" but i gotta be a prick sometimes, and i've learned from past experience, that even tho some women have good intentions with the "friends" thing, most don't, or they just don't end up following through with the good intentions.

    Either way, accepting to be friends with someone you have feelings for, is a complete waste of time. Tell them NO, and move on, if they want more, they'll contact you.
     
  17. deznutz

    deznutz New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2003
    Messages:
    29,880
    Likes Received:
    0
    Everything in this post is correct...good work Bam
     
  18. LOLSTi

    LOLSTi DTOM

    Joined:
    May 17, 2004
    Messages:
    26,797
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston
    :werd:

    i cant believe i'm agreeing with the wierd virgin guy,:hsd:
     
  19. Apothis

    Apothis New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2003
    Messages:
    2,240
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX
    It's been about 9 years since my first love and I think I'm skill kind of fucked up from it. I've done some things since then that I'm not proud of, and I've still never really actively gotten back on the dating horse or had any lasting or meaningful relationships. Well I've tried, only to be met with the same shit everywhere I turn. Though a "real" relationship is all I ever really wanted, It seems several short and empty flings here and there are all I have to show for myself. I no longer hold to the illusion of ever finding (mutual) love. I've pretty much concluded that I'll either pick up the occasional random whore when I feel like lowering my standards, or just lower them for good, and end up a 5-time divorcee.

    The point to all this? A absolutely believe that a person's first romantic experiences are the biggest factors to making or breaking them in the dating world. You either start out a winner or start out a loser, and once it's set, I think it's really hard to change it. I truely can barely imagine what it must be like to start off so inexperienced and innocent and to be met with mutual affection rather than being treated like crap.

    I started at 16 and am now 25. In all this time, I've never wanted anyone who actually wanted me back, and the only ones that have wanted me were the ones I didn't really want (though, out of lonliness, I have sometimes gone for it anyway). All my life, I was the nice guy naive enough to think it would be appreciated. Always the damned "friend". I now know better, but don't think I have it in me to be the opposite either. I'm now at a point where I just feel cold and indifferent. I'm not sure if I'm still lonely, or if I am and just don't even care anymore. To be met with nothing but self esteem crushing failure all your life, or otherwise lowering standards out of desperation, success in love really just seems like a fairy tale now.

    It's all a game, a matter of who is playing and who is getting played. I don't think I have it in me to really be a player, at least not very often. But I sure as hell have no more tolerance for getting played either. I really wish it didn't have to be this way. The whole thing pisses me off really ..when I bother to still care at least. I've only been in love once since the first one, and it resulted in more of the same: me getting played. Even with most of the less-hurtful flings, I got played. I mean :wtf: I just can't win. I can think of only one instance where I was the player, and that was hardly a "conquest" to be proud of. Man I hate this shit.

    Sorry for the rant. Must be because tomorrow is valentines and I should already be asleep. Anyway, uh ..yeah. There's my contribution. :sadwavey:
     
  20. Bam Bam

    Bam Bam Guest

    The only time its NOT a game is when you meet a virgin. Theyre innocent and blind to all the mind-fucking and heartbreak.
     
  21. Apothis

    Apothis New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2003
    Messages:
    2,240
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX
    Too bad they don't exist anymore past age 14 or so, much less my age.
     
  22. RichieZero

    RichieZero All I got in this world, is my balls, and my word. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2003
    Messages:
    3,953
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lawrence, KS
    I've met virgins who were more than happy to mindfuck me around. :eek3:

    And a big fuckin' :werd: to the first post...I just recently started sorting out this pattern for myself.
     
  23. kingrukus

    kingrukus New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2004
    Messages:
    841
    Likes Received:
    0
    Very good read.
     

Share This Page