Losing my erection during sex...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Sybian, Oct 22, 2006.

  1. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    I'm 28 years old and typically gifted when it comes to lovemaking. I know how to touch a woman, pleasure her and I know bedroom inside and out. However there have been times when my lovemaking was less than stellar to say the least...

    Just this Thursday I visited my girlfriend at her dorm. We had incredible morning sex and she claims to have orgasmed more times than ever. Our escapedes went on for more than 2 hours that day, not counting foreplay. In our 14 month relationship we both agree that this was the best sex we ever had.

    That brings us to the events of last night and this morning. I just couldn't get my head in the game. I would get hard and then it would go away. Get hard, go limp. We tried to have sex 3 times. 0 for 3. I went limp each time. Twice while I was inside of her.

    My mind was racing and I couldn't focus on the task at had to save my life, and after my first failure I became self-conscious and failed again because I was trying to force the issue. My girl is awesome, she says that it was okay and that she wasn't disappointed, but I was.

    My question, how do I keep this from happening again? I know I don't have ED, but when my mind starts to wander and I lose confidence I'm useless. I consider myself to be great in bed, and I've never had any complaints, but this is becoming embarrassing...

    Fellas, has this happened to you? How do you keep yourselves focused?
     
  2. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    We're you in the mood?
     
  3. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    I'm always in the mood bro... I mean, I wrestle with day to day shit but that never goes away. If a naked woman is in front of me I don't think it should matter if I was in the mood or not.

    This has happened maybe 4 times over the course of the last 2 years. It actually cost me a relationship the first time it happened.

    To be honest, my girlfriend was on her period and I'm an obsessive-compulsive neat freak so the thought of blood might have been what was wrong last night, but still. When called to duty, you should be ready to go.
     
  4. Gai

    Gai New Member

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    Nobody's 100 percent all the time. Worrying about it is what screws most guys up if it ever happens once.
     
  5. kdizzle59

    kdizzle59 New Member

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    yea i have had it happen to me, last night i was with my girl in her dorm while having sex i just started getting limp, she went down and performed oral for a little while and got me back. Once again i went soft when i was in her. i dunno, it has happened before i just think my penis gets bored sometimes :eek3:
     
  6. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    I was thinking the same thing. I think maybe I get bored but that's not it. Once I'm limp and looking at her naked body I'm definitely not bored, but my equipment just doesn't agree with my mind... It's a pretty fucked up situation.
     
  7. kdizzle59

    kdizzle59 New Member

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    lol i know isnt it, it could be the dorms maybe. you said you had your problems there, all my problems have been in dorms.
     
  8. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    Nah, don't think that's it. I've "performed" very well there. Head just wasn't in it those few times I guess.
     
  9. Tska

    Tska New Member

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    Ditto. Just like you've got your days where you're the best you can be, you've got some less-than-stellar days as well. We all do. Don't think about it and try not to let it worry you. Whoop-de-doo, you had a bad day. Happens to everyone. No biggie.
     
  10. TheProwler

    TheProwler Active Member

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    Relax, man. If it's only happened a few times, it's NOT a big deal. If she dumped you over it, then she wasn't a very understanding girl at all. It's happened to me a number of times, but my wife's usually pretty understanding, gives me "a hand" :naughty: and we're back in business. If you go soft, take a break from the sex, give her some attention and then you'll probably get hard in the process (I can't watch her get off without getting a raging boner).


    Very frustrating for sure, and just try your best not to sweat it (I know - it's tough to stay hard when you're thinking "Don't go soft!"). Just try what works - I'll go soft sometimes when I'm doing her doggy, but I never go soft when she's riding me, so we'll just go with what works.
     
  11. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    Thanks for the advice. I'm headed out tomorrow night. I'll report back with what happened.
     
  12. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    :ugh:
     
  13. otherlank

    otherlank OT Supporter

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    Keep in mind that at least 20% of erectile dysfunction is all in your head...this sounds like one of those cases. There have been times where I felt like I was under such pressure to get it up that you just can't. Then the next time you are trying to get it up, you think about the time before when you couldn't get hard. It's a cycle that can be tough to get out of. My advice is just to wait a little while until you get hard on your own without her. When you get an erection with no one around, your body is back in business.
     
  14. Elf

    Elf Save vs. Death

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    My problem was I can get hard when we are in bed messing around, and we'll be doing some foreplay, making sure she gets nice and wet...and by the time we get around to doing the deed, I'll lose my erection and it takes a while to get it up again. This hasn't happened in a while, but it is in the back of my mind once in a while.
     
  15. TheProwler

    TheProwler Active Member

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    Been thurr, done that. Not sure if there's really a quick fix. :hs:
     
  16. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    my thoughts exactly....how old is your gf? im not making fun of your thread, for the record. im just curious?
     
  17. JJM Enterprises

    JJM Enterprises New Member

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    It happens I guess is the concensus. Same deal with me, once in a while the penis really does have a mind of its own and doesn't want to cooperate. You can't let that get stuck in your head though. I'd recommend calm down for a few mins, drink a beer or two or a couple shots, start kissing and foreplaying and you should be all set. (Do NOT drink a case, or half a bottle, that will NOT help, haha)
     
  18. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    She just turned 21. Who cares?

    Anyway, I went over there last night and we had a huge fight. Didn't get around to having sex heh. We made up this morning however so maybe later this week I'll be trying again.
     
  19. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    I have noticed that a slight buzz takes the edge off. Drinking too much however can kill everything. They're so lucky. They don't have to do shit and their equipment always works heh.
     
  20. Count Nigula

    Count Nigula º¿º DJ º¿º

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    This has happend to me before. Your focusing on it to much. Try something different with your forplay. Have her stimulate you in a different way. DON"T think about getting turned on or worry that you wont. It will come back. :hsd:
     
  21. rs0252

    rs0252 New Member

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    The only thing I can add....yout level of alcohol consumption plays a huge role in your ability to get it up. The more you drink the less likely you will be able to perform. THe only time I've ever have trouble getting it up is when Im asshole drunk. DOnt worry about it, it happens to the best of us.
     
  22. MP18

    MP18 New Member

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    try relaxing and not thinking so much, it happens every once and a while and there is nothing you can do about it, so just wait for it to pass, don't worry
     
  23. RubiconSahara

    RubiconSahara OT Supporter

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    If your head's not there, your body won't stay there. The older you get the more you'll notice this as well. You need to just let everything go and be into the moment.

    I tend to think sex is more brains than physical.
     

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