Ok. I'm going to try to keep this away from the mindless bitching style post and focus more on the raw issue I'm facing. For starters, my name is my favourite Coldplay song and in no way related to being a depressed 12 year old Myspace junkie which I am not. Alright. My problem is that lately I am just completely fucked in the head to a point where I can't hold one state for longer than 2 days. I've seen the best mood I've ever been in and the worst inside of 10 minutes in the past week and I also cried for the first time in YEARS just recently. My motive is unknown, and I have no real reason to be jumping from emotional state to state. An extreme I reached was when I was trying to go on the computer one night and I just started freaking out. I was progressivly falling deeper and deeper into a pit of depression and began hallucinating, so I went to sleep. It was one of the more terrifying moments of my existence. My life is one that you wouldn't see this coming out of, but is starting to be affected by this. My parents piss me off sometimes, but I'm 16 and that's what happens when you're 16. I have a girlfriend who is the first girl I've ever been serious about [despite my young age compared to most of you, I am absolutely positively sure that my outlook on the aspect of dating is different than most my age, and I take it 100% serious, just to put out there after seeing all the young relationships get shot down]. My friends are all pretty mellow guys, they never really piss me off, I never really piss them off. I do fine in school. I'm an aspiring filmmaker and I find myself procrastinating that goal a lot. But none of these things normally would make me so crazy. The biggest thing of those things in my life is my girlfriend. We were going completely perfect for a long time, but then I started doing this shit. I worry about every thing with her, like right down to if she likes me as much as her friends or if she secretely hates me or something. I tell her these things, and she always can calm me down, she's really supportive about it, and usually can talk me down. But when it comes to me being alone, I just worry about the same shit again, and get to doubting us and whatnot. When I'm what I like to call "me" I have not a doubt in my mind about us. This is when everything is real, this is when I see that I'm making all these issues up in my head. But when I get to the bad points, I don't remember what I was thinking like when I was happy and it all comes back. I litterally almost switch who I am when I go from good to bad. I've snapped into "me" in the middle of a fight that the "bad" me was conducting and almost cried in shock of what I was doing. She tells me to go to a dotor about it, and she cries sometimes about it because I scare her. But I just want to see if anyone else has the same issue before I go and get myself signed up for uppers... The relationship I have with my girlfriend is everything to me, and when I get doubting it, I feel like complete shit and I have no reason to be doubting it but that doesn't seem to matter in my head. Aside from her, every other part of me has been affected too. I've snapped at my parents and friends, making both feel like shit. I've stopped caring about school, something I NEVER do, because I never really find it hard so I just get stuff done for the sake of grades. I've considered giving up filmmaking, something I love. And I can barely be alone anymore without starting to turn into a fucking psycho. So yeah... PS: I didn't proof read this. If something doesn't make sense just ignore it.